View Full Version : New parent worries....

07-14-2005, 08:46 PM
Hi everyone. I just registered after buying the baby411 book. I am 15 years old and expecting my first child in December. I have never done this before and I am very worried about "labor day" and if I will be a good mother. My question is, is this normal? I have always thought of my self as a person who doesn't really like kids and I never wanted any of my own. This was not a planed pregnancy but I don't regret it at all. I just want to know if my so called "mother instincs" will kick in when the baby comes or is there something I should try to do to prepare myself.
Thank you to any one who replies and I am looking forward to a great time here at baby411.com!,

07-16-2005, 12:47 AM
Congratulations on your baby. I know you must be scared.

First thing is first- do NOT worry about "labor day". Your body knows what to do, and it will not be nearly as bad as you imagine it to be.
Also, nowadays there are plenty of things they can do to help you with pain, if you think you need help. The worst part is not knowing what to expect.

As for worrying about being a good mother, it is TOTALLY normal. I was married and my dh and I planned my pregnancy, and I worried about whether or not I would be a good mom. I still do.

Will your mother instincts kick in when you hold your baby? It depends what you mean by mother instincts. Don't expect to instantly know all the right things to do for your baby, no one does. You and the baby learn together. And don't worry if you don't instantly love your baby. Some women don't. For some women it's more of a gradual thing. Just keep holding him, and talking to him, and rocking him, and in time you will love him more than you ever thought possible.

Things to be prepared for: There will be days when you don't feel like being a mom. It doesn't mean that you are a bad mom. The baby may have been crying for what seems like days, you may miss going out with your friends, you may be exhausted. Make sure you have someone to talk to on days like those. Make sure you have people around you who can help you take care of the baby when you are overwhelmed. Remember that a baby does not cry to be annoying or to make you angry (although you may very well be annoyed). A baby cries because something is wrong, and that is the only way they can tell you. They are hungry or in pain or tired or scared. Sometimes it can be frustrating when you don't know what they want, but remember that they trust you whole-heartedly, and all they are trying to do is say "Mommy, I need you."

As far as preparing yourself for motherhood, I would suggest that you read pregnancy and child care books. The more you know the more secure you will feel.
Talk to people who have children, and don't be afraid to ask questions. Most moms love giving advice.
Make sure you have a support system. If the baby's father, or your mom, or whoever, offers to help you- take the help.
Spend some time with little babies, if at all possible. Newborns mostly eat, sleep, poop, and cry. Be prepared for that.
I think the fact that you are here on this website speaks to the fact that you know more what to do than you think you do.

Also, the baby 411 part of this website doesn't get many people passing through. We mostly all hang out on the BABY BARGAINS board, so I would suggest posting over there. There is a great group of moms who are willing to answer questions on just about anything, and you won't have to wait so long for a reply.

And of course, the obvious:
During your pregnancy, do not drink, smoke, or do drugs. Eat a healthy diet. Give your child the best start in life you can. Consider breast feeding once the baby is born. It IS hard at first, and lots of young moms give up, but it gets easier, and studies have shown that it makes babies healthier and maybe even smarter. That of course, is up to you.

I hope this helped you a little. I look forward to seeing you over in baby bargains (don't be afraid of the lounge). And if you ever need to talk, feel free to pm me.

Congratulations again, little mama!

07-16-2005, 02:11 PM
Hi and Congratulations!

Hope you are feeling well and are having an easy pregnancy.

Try not to worry too much about "labor day". Find a doctor that you can trust and then try to be content in the knowledge that they know what they are doing. It can be very scary, so ask lots of questions and express all of your concerns, and know that your medical staff is there for you and your baby! I had a LOT of concerns at labor and delivery, but thankfully, had a very thorough doctor who didn't dismiss my fears!

As for "mothers instints", it will come. I agree with the PP that reading books and talking with other parents will help a great deal, but also trust what you know to be right for you!

For now, just take really good care of yourself and have some fun. There will be plenty of time to worry about sleep schedules, changing diapers and feeding issues.

Take good care of yourself...............Heather
Heather (Mom to Miracle DD)

07-17-2005, 09:37 PM

You're clearly going to be a great Mom because you're already taking steps to become one! The best thing I did when I was pregnant was READ, READ, READ. There's a great pregnancy book called "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" that I loved and it has a your baby's first year week by week version as well. Don't forget to read both pregnancy and baby info books.

I was only 21 when my daughter was born and she was unplanned, but I wouldn't change it for anything. She's so great, but it is tough. It's important to have a support system and never be afraid to ask questions.

All the best....Megan