lobsangdibbler
02-25-2004, 10:11 AM
Our son is two weeksshy of 4 months. About 2 weeks ago we moved him from the co-sleeper in our room to the crib in his room. Worked wonderfully. Three of the first five nights he slept through the night (10-7). The other nights he woke up once, but since it was clear he could go without feeding through the night, I comforted him rather than his mom comforting/feeding him. In each instance he went back to sleep pretty quickly.
Wonderful you think. Well... He has progressively begun to wake up more and more during the night. I get up and comfort him - usually first in his crib and then picking him up if that doesn't work (rarely does) - and holding him. He almost immediately falls asleep on my shoulder. Great. I wait a bit to make sure he is really asleep and try to put him in the crib. As he hits the mattress he begins to fuss and wake himself up. This cycle can go on for 2 hours. I pick him up = asleep; down into crib = awake. Eventually he goes down. Now, every 1.5 to 3 hours, he does this. So I am up with him 2 or 3 times during the night sometimes for as long as 2 hrs. Neither of us are happy. Actually he seems happy and rested during the day!
I think I understand what is going on, but not sure how to deal with it...
1. We did manage to train him not to be a night feeder (as the books suggest).
2. Since he is only 3.5 months, we couldn't/shouldn't ferberize him yet (per Ferber's suggestion that they can only self-soothe at 5 months), so...
3. He is aware of his surroundings, so me holding him and getting him to sleep, then sneaking him into bed is making him unhappy during those regular and normal sleep cycle awakenings.
4. So I should just wake him a bit to let him know he is going into his crib. Well that has never worked - he immediately gets very upset. The only way I have ever successfully gotten him into the crib is by waiting until he is very asleep.
In sum, we are in a situation with a very aware baby that is just unhappy not to be sleeping in his dadday's arms. We have successfully broken him of night feedings. We can't put him down slightly awake. According to the books, we can't Ferberize him. So if he can't self-soothe yet, but knows how he wants to sleep - on Daddy - what is our recourse? Am I stuck just soothing him til he gets old enough to self-soothe? And when exactly IS that? Baby411 and Ferber, etc. don't quite agree.
Again, the gradual, put him to bed while vaguely awake or awaken him a bit just doesn't work. Once he is aware he is leaving me for the crib, he is VERY persistent.
Thanks in advance.
Wonderful you think. Well... He has progressively begun to wake up more and more during the night. I get up and comfort him - usually first in his crib and then picking him up if that doesn't work (rarely does) - and holding him. He almost immediately falls asleep on my shoulder. Great. I wait a bit to make sure he is really asleep and try to put him in the crib. As he hits the mattress he begins to fuss and wake himself up. This cycle can go on for 2 hours. I pick him up = asleep; down into crib = awake. Eventually he goes down. Now, every 1.5 to 3 hours, he does this. So I am up with him 2 or 3 times during the night sometimes for as long as 2 hrs. Neither of us are happy. Actually he seems happy and rested during the day!
I think I understand what is going on, but not sure how to deal with it...
1. We did manage to train him not to be a night feeder (as the books suggest).
2. Since he is only 3.5 months, we couldn't/shouldn't ferberize him yet (per Ferber's suggestion that they can only self-soothe at 5 months), so...
3. He is aware of his surroundings, so me holding him and getting him to sleep, then sneaking him into bed is making him unhappy during those regular and normal sleep cycle awakenings.
4. So I should just wake him a bit to let him know he is going into his crib. Well that has never worked - he immediately gets very upset. The only way I have ever successfully gotten him into the crib is by waiting until he is very asleep.
In sum, we are in a situation with a very aware baby that is just unhappy not to be sleeping in his dadday's arms. We have successfully broken him of night feedings. We can't put him down slightly awake. According to the books, we can't Ferberize him. So if he can't self-soothe yet, but knows how he wants to sleep - on Daddy - what is our recourse? Am I stuck just soothing him til he gets old enough to self-soothe? And when exactly IS that? Baby411 and Ferber, etc. don't quite agree.
Again, the gradual, put him to bed while vaguely awake or awaken him a bit just doesn't work. Once he is aware he is leaving me for the crib, he is VERY persistent.
Thanks in advance.