View Full Version : Am I bad Mommy for wanting to kick my daughter to the crib?

10-17-2006, 02:16 AM
First let me say a co-slept with my son until 6 months and only reluctantly put him in the crib in his own room, mostly due to my DH's fears that he would be sleeping with us until 12 years of age. We didn't even bother to set up the crib for my daughter and had the cosleeper all set. Well, DD is a screamer. We've already gone through the GERD, swadling, gas checklist. No, no & no. Her screaming has improved somewhat, but it's really bad when I work my 2-3 night shifts a week. As my DH puts it, paint is peeling off the wall when she screams. (Note to future parents, when the L&D staff all comment on how loud your child is within 15 minutes of birth take it as a sign of things to come.) She just seems to fight sleep so much. I don't think it helps that I tend to have her in the bed with me when I'm there, but she needs to sleep in the co-sleeper with my DH. (He would crush her in his sleep.) DH does spend a lot of time up at night hold her, rocker her, etc, but eventually he just needs to put her down.

I want to move her to her own crib and giver Ferber a try when she is a little older. I think in some ways it might be easier for her for a consistent sleep routine with both of us. I would carry her around, do the whole attachment parenting thing, but I don't feel like that is the issue. She is fairly independent, hangs out during the day on the floor, in the swing, with me, with my DH just taking it all in. But if she falls asleep on us she can't transition to the cradle or co-sleeper without waking up screaming usually. I don't know how to describe it better than I just think my poor daughter has a tough time going to sleep but is an otherwise healthy, happy baby.

I'm not looking for advice on sleep trainig, which is why this isn't in the sleep forum, as much as a "Trust your mommy instincts that this is what your daughter needs" pat on the back.

10-17-2006, 04:47 AM
Your dd is pretty young, iirc?

Hang in there! It does get better



10-17-2006, 11:55 AM
Saw your post in the lounge and thought I'd come over to chime in.

Your DD sounds like mine when she was an infant. DD spent every nap in our arms and we co-slept with an unused bassinet next to us for the first three months of her life. We did this for the same reasons as you--DD would wake up as soon as we put her down. She could entertain herself pretty easily in her bouncer, playmat, or swing, but as soon as she got tired, all heck broke loose. We had a screamer as well, and she was rejected from the nursery in hospital because she was screaming that she wanted mom and dad.

Although I loved cosleeping and cuddling with her, I reached a point where I was just not getting the rest I needed to function. DD wasn't sleeping well either -- she kept waking due to DH's and my tossing and turning, and we were nursing so she kept waking for little snacks. So at about 4 months, we put her in her crib. I ended up doing a combo of Ferber, Baby Whisperer, and No Cry Sleep Solution. We all had tears, but it really was what both DD and I needed. She and I both slept much better with her in her crib.

Some children just have trouble with sleep. We all do what we can to help them. Trust your instincts. :)

10-18-2006, 01:54 AM
Your DD sounds exactly like mine. She did not like sleeping on us, and if we ever did get her to sleep on us, we didn't dare move for fear of waking her up, then the screaming would start again. She slept with me for a about a month, moving places, a couple of weeks in bed with me, a couple of weeks it was only on the couch. Then she would only sleep in her swing for a while. I went to visit my parents with her when she was about 2 months and she slept in a bassinet there, when I got home we put her playpen with the bassinet attatchment up in her room and let her cry. She was 3 months at that point, but I couldn't take it anymore. She would cry for about 10 minutes and fall asleep was what I found when I just let her do it. After a week or so, she stopped fighting it. The only disadvantage is that she won't sleep anywhere but her bed now. But I wouldn't change what I did. It was essential to my own sanity.