nap strike...i think i'm handling it incorrectly

[megs4413]

DD's on a nap strike...and so she's also not sleeping well at night...what to do? i'm still laying her down at the normal time for a nap and doing the nap routine, but she's just standing in her crib acting crazy...and i'm just leaving her there...but this seems kind of cruel..she's not crying or anything but i'm just leaving her in her crib all day. she is supposed to go down at noon and she usually stays in bed 3 hours...so i'm laying her down and she's goofing around until two and then falling asleep and staying in bed until 5 or not falling asleep at all and i just go get her eventually...i don't like that if she does fall asleep she's been in her room for 5 hours! but if i take her out she doesn't get a nap at all! what to do?

ETA: she's 19mos

[jgriffin]

I don't have any advice, but I am super envious that she takes a 3 hour nap every day! E will take an hour nap at daycare, but we're lucky if he sleeps 30 minutes on the weekends. I guess it's our wild and crazy lifestyle. :)

Oh, I guess I do have some advice. Our general rule-of-thumb is not to leave E in his crib fussing for longer than 20-30 minutes. If he hasn't fallen asleep after that time, we take him out and do something else. We'll try again in an hour or so (depending on how cranky he is, what we're doing, etc). I feel bad that he's in his crib crying, but since I know there's a time limit, it makes it easier.

[kristenk]

I would probably try to set a time limit. If she's not asleep in 1 hour, then go get her and possibly try again later. Or, if she's not asleep in 2 hours, go get her and no nap that day.

You might also try moving her nap time back. DD had a 1pm nap time for the longest time and then it slooooooooowly got pushed back for various stalling reasons and it seemed easier to get her to sleep. Before the time change, 4pm was the absolute wake-DD time. Now, we've moved nap back to close to 1pm and wake-up is supposed to be at 3pm (I cheat sometimes, though, and wake her closer to 3:30).

We've been having major sleep issues over here (DH is lying in her room right now until she falls asleep) and she was having a hard time with nap even if I stayed with her. I think she was just overtired. Anyway, it's much better now and I no longer have to do the "Mommy's going to rest now, but you don't have to" approach. Now when I say that I'm going to rest she'll ask if she can to! :) Somehow the answer is always yes!

One last thing. As long as she's happy, I wouldn't worry to much about it. I wouldn't want to leave her in her crib for 5 hours, just b/c of disturbing night-time sleep, but this is probably (cross fingers) a phase and things will be back to normal soon. Good luck!

[nfowife]

I wold not let her sleep to 5 pm because that is probably screwing up her nighttime sleep. I'd put her in her crib for her normal mid-day nap, and not let her sleep past 3. For example I usually put my DD down for a nap around 12-12:30 (or she will fall asleep on our way home from wherever around that same time). If she's wide awake when I put her down, that's fine but she generally doesn't cry (or if she does it's only for as long as it takes me to leave the room and shut the door). I am not sure how long it takes her to get to sleep on those days but at 3:00 if she isn't up I'll wake her so she will still go to bed at 6:30-7 p.m. What time is she waking up in the a.m.? I've found that 5 hours awake is about DD's limit, but if I miss that window for a nap then it's harder to get her to take one at all (like if we are at a party or something stimulating). Just some thoughts since our girls are just about the same age.

[megs4413]

Margaret,

I always look forward to your posts because I know Alison is about DD's age, so I figure we're on the same page with stuff.

Here is her normal schedule (when things are goign well):

wake up 9am
Nap 12:30-3ish
9pm bedtime
wakes up once a night usually at 5am (no idea why)

here is what she's been doing lately:
wake up 10am
NO Nap, but i lay her in her bed and try for a couple hours
bed at 10pm up at 3, 5, and 7

I am ready to die. She's in her bed right now cause she ASKED to go night night and she's just in there talking to herself. I can't exactly let her CIO if she isnt' going to cry! She just sits in there playing....

WHat to do?

[nfowife]

Well, it might be working for you, but I'd try to move her entire schedule a bit earlier. 9-10 am is a very late wake up time- I don't know anyone with kids our age (from playgroup or whatever) that has a wakeup time so late. DD normally wakes around 7, and I go get her around 7:30 (she will keep herself occupied in her crib, and when I hear her around 7 is when I hop in the shower and do a quick email check before getting her). Because of your DD's late wakeup time, I can see how she might not be tired at 12:30 because it's only been 3.5 hours, you know? So, I think I would either wake her up early and try to keep the 12:30-1:00 naptime (like wakeup around 7:30-8). Hopefully that will lead to an earler bedtime.
Here's my DD's schedule:
wakeup 7-7:30
nap from 12/12:30-2/2:30
bedtime 6:30-7 (usually we put her down close to 6:30)

If she is just playing and talking I'd leave her until she goes to sleep on her own. But I would try to move everything earlier and see how that goes. Although, each kid is different and if it works for you then I wouldn't change it. But if you keep the late wakeup time and sleep time you might need to move the nap a bit later so it's more midway through your DD's day. Right now it looks like she is up 3.5 hours from wake up to nap, but then 7 hours from nap to sleep, so it's kind of unbalanced, kwim?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Enjoy the time!! This is exactly what my ds would do...only he would also play by himself on the other end. I think a bit of down time is what she needs and there is nothing wrong with it if she is happy.

I miss nap time. :( Ds went through lots of phases with napping and I always held out hope that strikes were temporary (often were) but I think I have to face facts...he is 4.5yo and hasn't napped since June. :)

Oh, and our family does better at night than in the AM and dh liked to have lots of time with ds at night. So, our schedule at that time was wake up 9-10am, nap 2-6 (asleep about 2.5-3 hours of that), bedtime 10-11pm. So, he was getting a fine amount of sleep it was just at a different time than the typical family. There were times we had to wake him up at 6:30 or 7pm and we would put him to sleep at regular time. He would just play himself to sleep. Happy and rested= something was done right. If you have flexibility in your schedule then just roll with it. Everything is just a phase.

Beth