View Full Version : Ugh, I can't take this anymore!

02-26-2007, 01:21 PM
Please, no flames. We have MAJOR sleep issues (doesn't everyone in this forum?) and decided to Ferberize DS as a last resort. Well, he now sleeps great at night (7:30PM to 7:30AM), but he absofreakinglutely refuses to nap during the day. I KNOW he's tired, though, because he can barely keep his eyes open, but as soon as he hits that crib mattress, he starts screaming and hollering and crying. Ferber says to limit the nap crying to 30 minutes, but per Weissbluth, we've let it go on to an hour, and still no naps from DS. If I put him in his carseat, he'll be out in literally 2 minutes, so I know DS needs his nap.

Do I need to reduce the amount of sleep my son gets at night? It seems so counterintuitive. And before we decided to Ferberize him, he was getting ~12 hours of nighttime sleep (albeit waking up 10-15 times), as well as 2 1-hour naps, which were also major struggles.

Help! Did anyone else have this problem? Sleeping great at night but napping horribly? DS has been SOOOOO whiny and clingy and annoying since he isn't getting much sleep during the day. Thanks in advance!

02-26-2007, 05:47 PM
How long have you been doing this?

It took us several almost a month before DS would nap without EXTREME protesting after he has started sleeping at night with ease. For whatever reason, naps were harder for us too. Even just today he was yawning yawning yawning, but he refused to go down. I finally let him play for a bit, changed his diaper, and he went out like a light.

How old is your DS?

We let DS nap in his swing for a week or two until he started to get with the program...

Obviously, we weren't following Ferber/Weissbluth to a T. Maybe that's why it took us so long...

02-26-2007, 06:25 PM
We started Ferberizing last week. Within a couple of days, DS would sleep through the night, but I personally think it's because he's completely exhausted from not napping well during the day. He'll be 11 months on Thursday.

For today's afternoon nap, he fell asleep in my arms within 5 minutes, but as soon as I tried to put him down in the crib, he woke up screaming and wouldn't stop. So, no nap again today thus far, and it's already 3:30PM. I have a miracle baby. First 11-month old who doesn't need to nap. ;)

You mean I have to endure this several more weeks?

02-27-2007, 12:57 PM
I'd try putting him to bed earlier. Really - as strange as this sounds "the more they sleep, the more they sleep." I'd try 30 minutes - 1 hour earlier. I'd just keep working on the naps, keep on a schedule, put him down on time, and the go to another part of the house and let him cry. (I know this sounds hard, but after four children, I got very firm very fast). I really think to form a new and long lasting habit you need to work a program for a month before you try something else. This will come together - just be persistant!

Good luck

02-27-2007, 07:38 PM
Wow, an hour earlier? So he should go to sleep at 6:30PM? Weissbluth says they should go to bed for the night between 6 to 8PM, so I thought we were doing OK with 7 or 7:30PM.

So I should continue to let him CIO during naps for a month? Eek, I don't know if I can last that long. My poor DS was so tired yesterday (he literally didn't nap all day long) that by dinner time, he was completely zoned. He looked like a zombie. I felt so sorry for him. I guess a month is consistent with what the PP was saying, though.

Thanks for your input. This is soooooo hard!!!

02-27-2007, 11:14 PM
You poor thing! I should say that DD is now a pretty good napper, but it was a long, tough process to get her to this point. It always makes me laugh when people tell me how "easy" she is and that she is a great sleeper. If they only knew....

I'm going to agree with the PP, you might want to try an earlier bedtime. DD sometimes goes to sleep as early as 5pm (particularly if she has opted to "forgo" her afternoon nap...grrr), but she is always asleep by 6:30. I have found that if she takes a good morning nap, she actually shows signs of being sleepy again earlier than she normally would. I guess sleep really does breed sleep.

As far as bearing with the CIO, it is so tough, but so worth it. Do you have anywhere in your house where you can drown out the sound of the screaming? DD sleeps and naps with white noise on and I also put on the oven fan in the kitchen which is between her room and the office (where I online shop or otherwise entertain myself while waiting for her to sleep). It makes it much more bearable.

Finally, I have been known to break the "only nap in the crib" rule and take DD out for a walk where I know she will sleep. That used to be the only way she would nap.


02-28-2007, 01:13 AM
Your DD sometimes goes to sleep at 5PM? I've always been terrified that DS would wake up at 3AM and decide he's ready to get up for the day. I will definitely try putting him to bed earlier and see what happens, though. Crossing my fingers...

>is between her room and the office (where I online shop or
>otherwise entertain myself while waiting for her to sleep).

Great suggestion! Retail therapy would definitely help me feel better, LOL! Although, if I do that for every minute that DS is crying, we'd probably go bankrupt in a matter of days. ;)

02-28-2007, 01:40 AM
Letting baby sleep during walks is ok, but I DO find that DS does actually sleep more soundly in his crib if he goes down well. We started by doing ANYTHING to get DS to nap to protect his sleep. Then we transitioned by aiming for one good nap in his crib a day, and then upping it slowly. Now he mainly naps in his crib. We only use some other means to lull him to sleep if there is a problem, like recently our complex is having the roofs redone, so there is a lot of noise. GR! >:(

Sleep training does take a long time. We're still doing it. Slowly DS's bedtime has creeped up from 8-8:30 to 7-7:30. We didn't force the bedtime on him, but it just happened for whatever reason. He still wakes up at the same time though!! Go figure!

Stick to your guns!
Go window shopping but leave the CC at home. That's what I do! Of course...it's very sad, but still fun. :)

02-28-2007, 11:31 AM
I am not into CIO but I know how it is to have a sleep fighter. My DD will be laying in my arms eyes closed, almost out, and she will sit up and push off my lap. I constantly struggle with getting her to sleep. She does seem to calm down if I put her in a sling though. Our problem is that she wakes up every time I try to lay her down.

If he does not wake up when you put him down, maybe a sling would relax him just enough to get him off to sleep. Not sure if this will work with the routine you are trying to create but it may be worth a try.


DD 15 yr Jade
DD 12 mo - Happy First Birthday Olivia!

03-01-2007, 09:52 PM
I know 5pm sounds crazy, but sometimes she is just toast by then. She wakes up at exactly the same time as she does on the rare occasions when I keep her up more towards 7pm.

The key (to not going bankrupt ;)) during the retail therapy is to spend a LONG time sniffing around looking for bargains... otherwise DH would have kicked me out by now. LOL.

Keep us posted!

03-02-2007, 05:34 PM
Thank you all for your advice! I really, really appreciate all your thoughts.

The past few days, DS has been napping in his crib (hooray!), as well as sleeping through the night. Some days are better than others, though. Sometimes his naps are only 30 minutes long, sometimes it takes him 40 minutes to fall asleep, and sometimes he wakes up, cries, and goes back to sleep. I'm trying to take it one nap at a time. I have a feeling this will be a "two steps forward, one step back" kind of process, but as long as we're generally moving in the right direction, I'm happy.

DS is mostly back to his happy, sweet self, which makes Mommy feel better, too. Now when he gets whiny and clingy, I know that it's time for him to go down in his crib. I'm also putting him to bed a little earlier -- between 6:30 and 7PM. Sometimes he falls asleep right away, sometimes he cries for a while, but as long as he sleeps soundly during the night (as opposed to waking 10-15 times like he did previously), it's OK. I'm still experimenting a little bit with his naptimes and bedtimes, but in general, I'm much happier with his sleep and general disposition.

Thank you again so much for all your advice. It really gave me a lot of ideas and confidence to be persistent with this.

03-02-2007, 08:32 PM
Fabulous! Kids are very adaptable, but sometimes it just takes some kids longer than others. The roofers are finally done at our place and DS is back to a good morning nap. It took about 3 days of no roof noise, but it's all good!

I think you'll find the naps getting longer and longer as he adjusts and also gets more solid sleep at night. We find that when DS wakes up after a really restful night, he's very happy and goes down more easily for naps. If he wakes up for whatever reason and gets his nighttime sleep disrupted, the next day is generally more difficult.

03-02-2007, 10:36 PM
Glad to hear you're having some success Erica!

E is a terrible napper at home, but sleeps sometimes for 2 hours at daycare. Go figure! He is great at night, though. When he was a year old his bedtime was 6.30, but we have since moved it to 7. He wakes up around 7-7.30 (although sometimes as early as 6.30 or as late as 8).

Our problem at home is a lack of routine, I think. At daycare there are 3 other kids, they pull out the cots, turn on the soft music, and everyone lies down for a nap. At home sometimes we're out (and he falls asleep in the car, and sadly one of us will sit in the car for an hour so he'll sleep), sometimes we're not (and then he often won't take a nap at all). We've tried CIO with naps, but because it's just the weekends it hasn't worked for us.