View Full Version : I haven't slept a full night in a year!

03-05-2007, 10:23 AM
Counting the last three months of my pregnancy, when I couldn't sleep, I have not had a full night's sleep in a year, and I am EXHAUSTED! Our 8 1/2 month old has never slept through the night. The most he has ever done is 8:30 p.m. to 4 a.m., and that is a rarity. He is also a bad napper at home ( 2 to 3 40 minute naps, but not at consistent times). He takes regular naps at day care three days a week without trouble. He has taken well to our 20 minute bedtime ritual, and goes down by 8:15 or 8:30 without a problem, but then wakes up usually around midnight, and then again at 2, 4 and 6, and will not settle back down unless we bring him into our bed and he can nurse intermittently until it is time for me to get up for work. I don't think he is really hungry, because he usually falls back asleep in about 5 minutes as long as he nurses. We have tried to leave him in the crib for a while to see if he will fall back asleep, but the cries just get more and more frantic until we go get him. My back is killing me because he takes up more room in the bed than me or DH, and I NEED SLEEP! I've read Jodi Mindell's book and Ferber. I just don't think I let him cry it out for more than 20 minutes or so. It is just to distressing, especially in the middle of the night.

Emmas Mom
03-05-2007, 10:59 AM
Let me preface by saying I'm so not trying to discourage you! Except for one week when I went to England last year I haven't slept through the night in over 3.5 years. My older DD JUST started sleeping through the night right after her little sis was born. Baby girl still gets me up UP to SIX times a night! And she will not go back to sleep unless she has a bottle (I ususally try to just give her an ounce or so of water but by the 2nd or 3rd time she doesn't want it anymore & I end up giving her milk). I'm not the type who can let her cry it out either but even if I was I can still hear her crying (no monitor) and it keeps me up. It's a frustrating situation for us too...just wanted to let you know I feel your "pain". Good luck to you!

03-07-2007, 04:37 PM
Totally feel your pain. I haven't had a full nights sleep since summer of 05, even though dd started sleeping through the night at 10.5 months. Nowadays it's mostly because my preggo self has to go pee 3 times a night.

For us, we decided to start with cutting out the earliest of 2-3 night feedings because it was really stressing me out and making my own sleep problems worse. We decided I wouldn't nurse her before 2. Dh had to be on board because it became his job to take turns with me going in every 15 minutes or so and patting her down, offering her water, telling her it was time to sleep. The first night was hard because we've never gone in to just comfort then leave. We usually don't go in at all because otherwise she gets madder. Anyway, she really howled! But I think it was about an hour at the longest before she went back to sleep, and didn't wake till 3! The upshot was besides eliminating the 1st feeding she started waking later and later until one day she didn't wake til 7, which is her normal up for the day waketime. AFter that I refused to go backwards, and all told it was a total of 2 weeks before I could say she was sleeping through the night. Another part of this story is that before she was hardly eating any solids, and once she started skipping night feedings she was eating MUCH more, esp. at dinner.

When dd was little I was thinking I'd be happy to nurse her at night until one year. But the sleep deprivation was just too much for me, and I don't "go to work!" 10 months was when I decided I had enough.

Finally, I should add the caveat that once Dora became a "great sleeper" she started waking again at abround 14 months. It sounds like every few weeks she has a bad dream or something, and wakes up howling. One of us has to go in and pat her down, and stay there until she calms down and drifts off. DH will lie down on the floor with her. I tend to keep her in the crib. Then we sneak out later. This method only seems to work if she wakes earlier, not too close (like an hour) before she would normally get up for the day. But as annoying as this is, I take it any day over what was going on just a few months back.

03-08-2007, 09:40 AM
Towards the end of the first year, DS was bfing once at night (around 5am). The good news is, since we weaned him, he hardly ever gets up.
Is there not enough/too much light in his room. Have you tried to give him a swig of water, Hug-hug, pat-pat and back to bed. Or Hold him in his room to settle down (I hate that frantic crying) and then put him in his crib. But don't hold him for more that a few minutes. Also, what if DH tries to settle him down. Then the baby won't smell you and will hopefully get the idea that the "kitchen" is closed. We never brought the baby in bed with us - maybe he's lonely and knows if he cries loud enough for long enough he'll get brought into the warm cozy Mommy bed.
Maybe on the weekends when you are not working, experiment with some new techniques.
Some would say early to bed, late to rise. Is he really tired at night? Maybe he's overtired and an earlier bedtime? DS goes to bed at 7 but there has been occasion that he's gone to bed at 6:00 or 6:30.
Good luck