WWYD - Help with night out

[Bean606]

DS has a lot of sleep issues. Sometimes he won't go to sleep at bedtime, sometimes he wakes up several times a night. We have never left him with a babysitter at bed time - when we have gone out, we either we leave after he goes to sleep, or we get home before his bed time. And, he has always been home. We have been invited to a fancy benefit on a yacht for a children's charity, and they are offering free babysitting for people with children at DS's day care. DH really wants to go, and the place is having trouble with turnout, so he feels like we should go. We wouldn't have to pay for our tickets, so it would be a fun night out for us, and free. BUT! I am really concerned about leaving DS. His daycare teachers will be doing some of the babysitting, and so he will be with familiar faces, but I am totally worried about screwing up his sleeping even more. We would probably get back to pick him up around 11, would have to wake him (if he is sleeping) to put him in the car, and then would have to wake him again to put him in bed. Are we being totally selfish about even thinking of going, or am I being too neurotic about DS, who, after all is over 10 months old now, and should get used to having his routine messed up every once in a while? I could really use some advice about what to do. Thanks!

[SnuggleBuggles]

It's one night. i wouldn't expect his sleeping world to fall apart as a result. Heck, he may even sleep better without you around. And the sitters will have tricks up their sleeves or just ride it out till you get done. I did plenty of babysitting for a little girl that was a terrible sleeper. I would just walk the halls with her and basically try whatever I could to get her to sleep. Her parents Ok'ed CIO as well so when she was a little older I would follow their routine for CIO. Bottom line, they will be fine and so will he. :)

I think that people need to have flexibility in their lives and the ability to let routines slide occasionally. And this sounds like such a fun event that it would be worth it!

Go and enjoy yourself. It will be great!

Beth

[jenjenfirenjen]

Is there anyone who could babysit your DS at your home instead? If so, could you have them come over a few times before this big night to do a few "trial runs" of putting him bed. I think you have a better chance of him sleeping if he's in familiar surroundings. If you take him out, he may have a hard time going to sleep and have a complete meltdown. I don't know what time he goes to bed but 11 is pretty late for a 10 month old I would think.

FWIW, I'm in the same situation. My older DS is 2 1/2 and we have not yet let someone else put him to bed (other than the day that we were at the birth center giving birth to his baby brother.) We always just wait until the boys are asleep to go out.

[octmom]

I'd go and use the daycare sitters, since you already know them. One night will not screw up his sleep forever. ;) Have fun!

Jerilyn
DS, 10/03
DD, 3/06

[tarabenet]

I definitely agree: you should go!

And on something you *didn't* ask: you might try having someone else put him to bed while y'all go out some time. At home, of course, not this particular evening/event. He gets all kinds of bedtime cues from your presence, and now has certain expectations about bedtime. If you aren't there and someone else puts him to bed, you may be able to completely change his pattern. We did this with both my niece and my nephew, when transitioning from co-sleep to crib. It was quite amazing. They went to their own beds with minimum fuss and slept through! And it is how we got my niece (who is older) to settle back into her "big girl bed" when her brother came along and took over her old crib.

Whatever happens, good luck with sleep. And go have a nice evening out with DH! Enjoy it!

[Bean606]

Thanks everyone! Based on most of your responses and some informal polling I did at work from people with kids, we decided to go. Hopefully DS won't totally melt down!

[chlobo]

I would definitely try to go but I would also try to get a sitter at home. That way if someone magically gets him to sleep he's in his own bed and you don't have to worry about transfer.

However, if he doesn't get to sleep its just one night. My DD is also a terrible sleeper (even at 3.5) so I know its difficult to think about upsetting the already upset applecart. But as people said, he won't suffer from one night of a screwed up schedule.