4-month old...To Ferberize or Not to Ferberize?

[Mom2Jackaroo]

Sleep is our biggest stumbling block. DS has reflux, with pretty severe spit up. It interfered with his ability to sleep as a newborn, going through days without naps and frequent wakenings through the night beyond what it should be. With the help of Zantac and a pacifier, we've gotten to a happy compromise...about 3 naps a day for anywhere from 2-3hrs total and then a reasonable bedtime between 8 and 9. But he has NEVER been able to self-soothe enough to fall asleep on his own.
DS just turned 4 months, and discovered many things to keep him awake. This includes smiling at mom and dad, turning over, chewing on his hands, pacifiers, kicking, coughing, spitting up, etc. I let him try to play it out at 2 am, and he lasted an hour on his own before I tried to put him back to sleep. Though naptimes are still easy to put him to sleep, putting him to sleep for the night instantly turned difficult. He's had several 3 hour long marathons, and I hate to encourage this habit.
The Baby 411 says to Ferberize at 5-6 months, but not on babies under 4 months and leaves a grey area. We haven't bought the actual book by Ferber, but will be getting that tomorrow. Has anyone had success at 4 months, and did you have a GERDling? We attempted to start the process tonight, but DS played happily for 45 minutes, then cried himself into a coughing fit that needed our intervention (he is recuperating from a double ear infection).
Thoughts? Am I a push-over mommy?

[DrSally]

That's interesting, usually bedtime is easier than naps. I think Ferber himself does say not until 5 months. IMO, they're just too young to CIO, but I know everyone feels differently. Esp., I think, if he is sick/getting over something. Have you tried a soothing bedtime routine--bath, book, dim lights, quiet, etc.? What is differnt about nighttime versus naptime? i.e., is there any difference in your routine for naps vs. nighttime?

[gina]

From what i've heard its too early. I think youre not supposed to start until 6 months. I don't think it is something I would try while he is sick either. Seems like even DH needs that extra comfort when he is sick, lol.

[Mom2Jackaroo]

UPDATE:
Posted this, then had a really bad night. Any attempt to soothe DS appears to wake him up more. Our soothing attempts are in the dark, sometimes we sing a lullabye and sometimes we just shush. SO....we sort of jumped into the Weisbluth method of letting him cry it out the next night. He had a couple of nights at 40 minutes, then last night he only lasted 10 minutes. I saw my pediatrician since we started this, and he said that in his opinion you can begin this process at 2 mo of age. Ouch! I'm not feeling as cold-hearted now. And, no matter how my heart hurts while he is crying, he has always fallen asleep safely and faster on his own during this process. Thanks for your responses!

[DrSally]

Good to hear it's getting better. Maybe your soothing attempts were "getting in the way" KWIM. Sounds like he was ready to put himself to sleep since the time crying has decreased quickly. Hope it continues!