Throwing, biting, & hitting in anger

[JulieL]

So my DS is 17 months old and is trying to find an avenue for his frustrations. And throwing, biting, & hitting seem to be his choice for now. Of course I say no, and tell him "Mommy doesn't like that!", still it hasn't stopped. It's not all the time and the biting has almost disappered. But it's so hard to keep composure sometimes. For example I took Anthony to his first toddler class. Well he was tired and had a fit. He kept hitting me, trying to throw himself around and so on. It was SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
embarressing. I kept thinking that the other mom's were thinking, Ok, I don't want that kid around mine!!! Really he is a good baby and I know he is just learning the world leason of disappointments, and I know that babies need LOTS of reminders. But has anyone delt with this kind of behavior and what worked for you, especially in public!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mom2kandj]

We have the same problem with DS. DS is really into the screaming fits and wiggle worm body. I really think that his acting out stems from the fact that he really can't tell me what is wrong. (He only has about 6 words right now. :( ) We are consistently giving him one minute timeouts and some days it really works, but other days he can be a little devil. Hopefully as DS gains more words, this will change.....

Rose
mom 2 katie (33 months)
& Jack (16 months)

[jojo2324]

Yeah, I'm hoping that an increase in verbal ability curbs his aggression. In the mean time, I just keep on saying, "No, we don't hit/bite/kick/slap/pull hair. That hurts." Sometimes, when it's REALLY bad, like my eyes are smarting from tears it hurt so much, I put him on one side of a safety gate while I stand on the other. Or, when that isn't available, I turn my back to him. Also, I have read somewhere that when you see that your baby is about to bite you, try to bring his hand up to his mouth so that he actually bites HIMSELF. This is easier said than done, at least with my little monster. :)

One other thing I am trying do is have him around more children. We just finished up a session of Gymboree classes, where he was guaranteed to slap all the kids (and adults) there. Talk about embarrassing!! BUT, we are signing up for the next session nevertheless, because I do think that exposure will help, especially since we have a little one on the way.

[cara1]

My DS (19 mos) has been hitting these last few days, too. But it's weird. He hits me, the cat, people in books, and even HIMSELF! What is this? And he doesn't do it when he's angry. Just randomly.

[dawn777t]

Ok this is a little unorthodox but it works.
Next time he bites you at home, do the same thing back to him. My dd, would bite me at about that age, and a friend suggested I bite her back. Not really hard, but hard enough so she cried. Anyway, the first time my dd just looked at me (after she was done crying) like, "What was that about mom?" And I said something like "It hurts when we bite, no biting." Anyway after a couple times she never did that again.
If it is out of frustration (not getting way etc.) You could do the same thing and say something else appropriate for the situation. "I know you are upset that you didn't get the cookie, but we do not bite, it hurts."

I know this sounds odd, but it really does work. When doing this (and this is the hard part), try to remain calm and not angry when you bite back, but be stern and loving.

[sugarsnappea]

I am sorry, but I disagree w/ this method. I think biting or hitting our children is cruel. If we are trying to discourage certain behaviors than why would we mimic that behavior on our children?
My DD has begun to hit us and herself when she is angry. I know it is out of frustration and a lack of vocabulary. I try to redirect her and say things like "we don't hit, we hug" etc..