View Full Version : How do you and your spouse resolve differences re: treating a sick child

10-20-2003, 02:46 PM
Ds woke up Friday with a pretty bad cough. Definitely not the teething/saliva cough; it's very mucousy and sounds 'productive'. I asked another mommy friend and she said at that point, she probably wouldn't do anything except watch it. I was fine with that. Dh wasn't.

Friday afternoon, I called the dr's office to find out what sorts of things we should watch for and at what point anything further would be necessary. The nurse said only to call back or get in touch with the dr on call if he started having difficulty eating/sleeping or got a fever. She also said that our dr doesn't like to give medicine at that point. I was fine with that. Dh wasn't. He was frustrated with me for not getting a cough syrup recommendation & dosage. I told him if he wanted that information to call himself. Needless to say, he didn't.

On Saturday, ds still had the cough. Again, dh & disagreed (this time on its frequency). Dh thought it was constant, I didn't think it was. I did some more research on Dr. Sears website and that pretty much reiterated what I had heard and thought. We ended up giving him a little cough suppressant later in the day on Saturday, but agreed we wouldn't give him anything else unless we talked to a doctor. His cough was better yesterday, so we haven't had to pursue it any further.

I guess the bottom line is that I got frustrated because I WAS THE ONE who did the research. Dh, in general, hasn't read much and certainly not to the extent I have. I think that's my general issue with this whole thing. How do you resolve your differences in this area????? I feel like I'm in a no-win situation at times like this. I've been so proud of myself for not being paranoid about every little thing. But when dh disagrees with me, I start second guessing myself. AAAGGGGHHHH!!! Help, please.

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b3524e54e42d - New 10/3

10-20-2003, 03:52 PM
I can offer no solid advice but I can certainly empathize with you. I am the one that does research (do the boards count as research too? :P) on everything and DH does NONE. Yet he still manages to disagree with me on most of it. I told him last time we had a disagreement (on Ryans sleep challenges) that unless he planned to do the research and call the doctor, et cetera that he doesn't get to provide input. I said how can you know what to do when you haven't read zilch on the subject? He asked me which books he is "supposed" to read and I gave him the Sears Baby Book, the No Cry Sleep Solution, Weissbluth and the week by week baby book so he knew what to expect developmentally and physically with him. He has actually been reading about twice a week and I have noticed that he will do stuff recommended in the books. Of course it's going to take him a year to get through these, but I thought it was a good course of action. I also send him emails at work with websites (Dr. Sears site and I have sent him some kellymom stuff too about how to bottle feed the breastfed baby) and he is more apt to read them at work than he is at home. So my new approach if we disagree on something is to send him info to read at work and then we can discuss it when he gets home. Seems to be working so far....

I'm glad Lane's cough is better!!!

10-20-2003, 04:20 PM
Thanks so much Debbi; that's very helpful!! Even to just know that I'm not alone. And yes, the boards absolutely do count as research!!! :)

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b3524e54e42d - New 10/3

11-02-2003, 04:18 AM
Sorry to chime in late. I haven't had to cross this bridge yet, except that we are having a difference in opinion on Martie's latest sleep episodes.

I hope my pal Lane, is feeling better!

Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03