View Full Version : Working Moms - how to deal w/ critics?

05-27-2005, 08:39 AM
I hope there are some moms out there who can give me some advice! I have just returned to work after 5 months of maternity leave. My DS is with a trusted friend who does daycare out of her home for 4 days a week, and with his grandma 1 day. Though I've only been back a week, he seems to be happy and thriving with our new routine. My dilemma is how to deal with the guilt and insidious disapproval that seems to be out there for my choosing to return to work.

No one is directly critical to me, and maybe it's all in my head, but it does seem like the general attitude is that it is "unfortunate" that I am returning to work. Does anyone have suggestions on how to make this "ok" in my head? How can I stop feeling guilty? What are some ways I can respond to the negativity I get from people?

I am sure I'm not the only one who has encountered these attitudes! I would love to know how other working moms have dealt with it!!!

05-31-2005, 12:51 PM
I haven't had a lot of critics. I wanted to stay home though, so that may be the difference.
I'd quickly disspell any nay sayers, you are working to help support your family there is nothing wrong with that!
Your decision is what is best for your family situation, in my opinion that leaves no room for argument.

Maddy's Mom


05-31-2005, 11:23 PM
First of all, congratulations on staying home with your baby for five months. That is an accomplishment and I commend you for it. I an now a stay at home parent. I worked full and part time until baby #3 came along and have probably experienced every emotion in the gammet of work vs. stay home dilema. My advice is to be confident in the fact that you love and care for your baby no matter if you are with him all day or not. When people would offer comments about working to me - I'd just smile and say "thank you - I believe the arrangement I've created works best for our family at this time." And I'd leave it at that. Women work outside the home for a variety of reasons - and sometimes I think I've been the better mother when I've worked. So cut yourself some slack and enjoy your work and then your sweet baby when you get back to him. Good luck to you!

06-01-2005, 07:51 AM
You're right, Christy. I am doing the best for my family, and that should be enough. I think I am becoming more confident in my decision. Thanks!

06-01-2005, 07:56 AM
Thanks! I realize how lucky I am to have had a 5 month maternity leave. The company I work for is very generous and my state provides for additional family medical leave on top of the federal FMLA. I have joked that I need to keep this job until I'm done having kids because the benefits are so good! What it comes down to is that it is no one else's business! I am sure they would not want people commenting to them about personal areas of their lives! I need to think of a few good zingers to stop them in their tracks and realize how inappropriate they are with such comments.

01-26-2006, 12:16 AM
i had a client tell me that she was a better working mother than a stay at home mother or something along those lines and that has stuck with me. i love my DD but i would go insane staying at home. i work just enough to want to stay home more and i am home enough to be ready for work the next day :-)