lmintzer
09-06-2003, 10:12 PM
This may turn into more of a vent than a question . . . Jack has such a hard time delaying when he wants something. Of course, waiting is hard for all toddlers, but it seems to be even more of a challenge for him. When DH and I talk about it, we come to the conclusion that he truly isn't being bratty or manipulative--he just literally can't wait (especially when it's for food). I try to be as patient as possible and really work with him on the concept of waiting. For ex., I'll say "I know Jack is hungry, and Mama is making you some food. But the chicken needs to cook before we can eat it" or "Mama will get your water, but I have to finish X first--I know it's hard to wait." He occassionally is helped by these verbal cues and acknowledgement of his feelings, but usually the constant "Jack want. . ." or "Need X" just continues or even escalates.
Some of you may know I have am a clinical psychology postdoc, so that makes this kind of thing even tougher in a lot of respects. I think, "I should know how to deal with these types of situations". I find myself constantly trying to tease out how much is temperament versus how much have we reinforced this kind of behavior by responding to his needs so quickly. And then, I start wondering how on earth I'm going to manage with a new baby.
To me, the traditional temper tantrums are so much easier to manage than these kinds of areas. I'd define traditional temper trantrum as child is pissed because parent has set a reasonable limit (e.g., warns him/her that bath is in 5 minutes, and then in 5 minutes, takes him/her up to bath despite protests). The issue of how much a particular toddler can delay or can play independently feel much harder to me. . .
Any thoughts or similar stories?
Lisa
& Jack, 4/20/01 (I NEED mama and daddy right after I wake up, and I NEED eat when I'm hungry, and I NEED to have my paci right now, and I NEED to be with my bear)
& his little brother, e.d.d., 12/15/03 (Will there be any time for me?)
Some of you may know I have am a clinical psychology postdoc, so that makes this kind of thing even tougher in a lot of respects. I think, "I should know how to deal with these types of situations". I find myself constantly trying to tease out how much is temperament versus how much have we reinforced this kind of behavior by responding to his needs so quickly. And then, I start wondering how on earth I'm going to manage with a new baby.
To me, the traditional temper tantrums are so much easier to manage than these kinds of areas. I'd define traditional temper trantrum as child is pissed because parent has set a reasonable limit (e.g., warns him/her that bath is in 5 minutes, and then in 5 minutes, takes him/her up to bath despite protests). The issue of how much a particular toddler can delay or can play independently feel much harder to me. . .
Any thoughts or similar stories?
Lisa
& Jack, 4/20/01 (I NEED mama and daddy right after I wake up, and I NEED eat when I'm hungry, and I NEED to have my paci right now, and I NEED to be with my bear)
& his little brother, e.d.d., 12/15/03 (Will there be any time for me?)