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lmintzer
11-07-2003, 12:06 AM
I've posted before about ds's spirited temperament--but I'm not sure I've ever directly asked if anyone else is going through this with their toddlers.

Jack is pretty verbal for a 2 1/2 year-old boy. When he wants something, it is usually pretty clear what he is asking for (which, on the whole, is a good thing). However, I was noticing the other day how he literally is one request or demand after the other. Many (though not all) of them are reasonable, and I imagine if you are a little person who is as sensitive and as particular as Jack (and as able to ask), it makes sense that you would do whatever it takes in your power to acquire what you need.

Jack literally can move from asking from one thing to the next for hours. It doesn't much matter if I say yes and comply or say no and don't. It doesn't seem to deter him.
Some examples. Jack in the bath:

J: Want some soap in here (in a plastic cup)
Me: How do you ask nicely?
J: Soap in here please.
Me: Okay. Just one squirt.
J: Want some more soap in here, Mama. (And if I don't answer quickly enough).
Want some more.
Me: Mama said no more.
J: (whining) Want soap!
Me: (trying to distract). Why don't we make mushrooms?
J: (looking happy) Mushrooms! (and after we play for a while). Two more times!

a few minutes later after bath

J: Want your (my) baby (paci) and your bear friend
Me: Okay, Jack. We'll get them for diaper and pajamas.
J: Want your baby and your bear friend. Jack cold. Cover you.
Me: Yes, Jack, but something you have to wait. Mama can only do one thing at a time.


I don't know how good of an example this is, but it's as if he literally cannot restrain himself. Every thought is spoken--all day long. It's totally exhausting. (Doesn't help that I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant).

Anyone else have a "demand-a-roo" as we call him?

Lisa
& Jack, 4/20/01
& Little brother-to-be, e.d.d., 12/15/03

megsmom
11-07-2003, 03:29 PM
I have a daughter who is about the same age and does a lot of the same things. Pretty normal, I think as they are trying to learn their boundries and see what behavior is tolerated.

Meghan has always been very verbal, so there's not often confusion about what she wants, but she is slowly learning the lesson that just because you want something and can say it, that doesn't mean you are going to get it. I use key phrases such as "Later," or "All done with" whatever, and sometimes, "Mommy said no" and sometimes this involves her whining or throwing a mini fit, but she does tend to get over it very quickly. I just keep repeating my same phrase and try to distract, but one thing I don't try to do is reason with her about this. Certain things are non-negotiable and we can't make a deal about it. It's getting better. Just do the best you can to be consistent and pick your battles I guess. I figure the more consistent I can be now, the less I will have to deal with a whiny toddler/preschooler later.

That said, we have our days around her. I'm due any day now and my energy level/patience is waning sometimes (I think they can tell this). Hang in there. I hope I can still be a good mommy after I have two kids crying at me. :)

Jen
mom to Meghan 7/13/01
and #2 EDD 11/12/03

sarasprings
11-09-2003, 10:07 AM
My 18 months old is exactly the same way. He talks all day -- either announcing what he is doing or telling me what to do. The most common sentence I heard yesterday was "Get up Momma." Two months ago, when he was saying only one word, he would grab my hand and say "Go, go, go."

I think that there is a lot of power in being able to express oneself -- and I'm sure they love that. I agree with the previous poster, it's another way for children to explore their environment.

brubeck
11-09-2003, 10:25 AM
Amy did the exact same thing! (including using 'you' instead of 'me')

I think it's part of the whole process of learning to talk. I called it the 'stream of consciousness' conversation. We'd be driving somewhere and Amy would say, "See a truck! Truck is red! Go truck! Light green! Go truck! Truck is red! Truck has wheels! See a car!" etc. etc. etc. It was non-stop chatter and while she wasn't as demanding as Jack seems to be, she was demanding that I listen to EVERYTHING she said. It's one thing for her to just go on and on about whatever it is that she sees, but she would get angry if she thought I wasn't paying attention to her. So I did, and now I am having a hard time teaching her the concept of 'excuse me' when I am talking to someone else.

I think it's just a normal stage that kids go through. Eventually he will realize that you can only do one thing at once, and if you don't jump to his EVERY command, he might not expect things instantaneously all the time. If he demands 2 things at once, tell him, "Would you like your teddy or your towel FIRST?". That at least starts to show him that things don't all come at once and sometimes something will happen ebfore something else.

Just a thought. HTH!