My soon to be 2 year old has started biting and kicking, need advice...

[Chelsey333]

I posted this in the baby forum too, not sure where to go for advise... I am expecting a baby 5/11 and my ds is turning 2 this month. The last 2 months he has picked up a terrible habit of biting my husband or me, but mostly me. He has not bit anyone else yet. It is getting worse. This week he has bit me 2-3 times in a day. We were at a gymboree class today and I was talking to another mom, and he came up behind me and bit my leg. Usually he is laughing when he bites me, but sometimes he is frustrated bec it is nap time, or time to brush his teeth. He also started kicking in the last 2 months when I change his diaper. He will bring his feet all the way up to his head and then slam them down on my legs. I usually change him on the floor. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. He has a wonderful personality and seems to be a very happy child, but lately he is getting a little to physical for my liking. Can anyone suggest what has worked for them to curve this behavior, or do I just have to ride it out?

[lisams]

Oh, I feel for you and we're not even there yet as DD is 1 1/2. When I worked with 2 year olds in daycare, this was very common. From my experience, it sounds like he is trying to get your attention or communicate a need for help, just not doing it the right way. Maybe you could do somehting like this:

DS bites your leg because you are talking to another mom at Gymbo and he wants your attention (and biting will get it right away - he needs to be taught a very specific way to get your attention appropriately). You immediately and firmly say "That hurts when you bite me, you may not bite me. If you need me, tap my knee like this." Then bend down and physically have his hand tap your knee. You have to show him very specifically what you WANT him to do, focus on that instead of what you do not want him to do (2 year olds tend to do what they hear, so if you say "don't bite" , he hears the word "bite".) If he's kicking you on the changing table, you could hold or carress his legs and say, "That hurts when you kick me, I want you to wiggle your toes(or anything else you think he could safely do with his legs while being changed)."

I know some people will disagree with this method, but it basically turns this situation into a learning experience and is the least aggressive way to do it on the parent's part. It's hard to do though, especially when your usually sweet child is turning into a perana!! I sure hope things get better for you!!!

HTH!!
Lisa

[raynjen]

I completely agree. My daughter is going through spurts of different unacceptable attention-getting behaviors. This is just like tantrums, throwing, hitting, etc. We do a lot of what the previous poster said - explaining, "NO, that hurts Mommy, we don't bite" and consequences.

Expressing his feeling for him might help, "I know you don't like taking a nap." It sounds like he is challenging you too, "what can I get away with" is common behavior when kids are trying to learn their boundaries. I HIGHLY recommend Dare to Discipline by Dr. James Dobson. It has a lot of specific recommendations that we have found very helpful for this period (starting with it is a GOOD thing to set limits and enforce them, something that we, as mommies, often have a hard time doing).

Good luck!

Jen in Okinawa
Mom to Noelle (2 1/2)

[Chelsey333]

Thanks for those suggestions, I am going to try them. I think him biting me for attention might be easier to stop with trying to get him to communicate with me like the tapping my leg. But when he bites when he is mad seems more challenging to stop. Plus it is hard for me to stay completely calm and not yell NOOOOOOOOOOOO, bec it hurts. I will also look into that book, thanks for the suggestions!