g-mama
04-07-2004, 12:04 PM
Hi all, I am a frequent lurker here but have just begun posting recently. I have a question and am hoping to gain some of your insights and advice. My (almost) 3.5 year old ds cannot...or will not..play by himself. At all! He used to be so good at this, particularly when he was really into his Thomas the Train set. He could play that for hours a day, acting out scenarios, making the trains "talk" and be so creative and imaginative.
I'm worried that I've ruined his imagination and ability to entertain himself by letting him watch too much TV. I had horrible morning sickness with ds #2 and let him watch way more cartoons/movies than I ever had before. Then it became a habit and rather than listen to him whine and beg, I gave in, especially when the 2nd baby was born and I needed my sanity in those sleep-deprived days. He would watch TV all day if I'd let him and I'm seriously making an effort to reduce the amount of time, especially in light of that new study that just came out.
In the meantime, I try to engage him in activities, art projects, I give him ideas to get him started on pretending (like coloring a big box we received a package in yesterday and then pretending it was a cave and putting his plastic animals in there, just an example). But the minute I am not completely involved WITH him, he loses interest and begins asking me what I am going to play with him, and when I tell him sometimes that I have other things to do, he just asks, "Whhhhhyyyy?" in this awful nagging voice. ALL DAY LONG. If I'm not in his face every minute, he walks around looking dejected and sad, just the most pitiful sight you've ever seen. My ds is also a huge talker. He talks alllll day and after EVERY statement, if I don't acknowledge him with an "oh" or "okay" or "yeah?" he will say it over and over and over until I do. I'm losing my mind!
Please tell me I haven't reached a point where this can't be remedied. I'm feeling so guilty. But also so frustrated and suffocated. I can't have a moment's peace. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Kristen
Paolo 11-21-00
Benjamin 8-21-03
I'm worried that I've ruined his imagination and ability to entertain himself by letting him watch too much TV. I had horrible morning sickness with ds #2 and let him watch way more cartoons/movies than I ever had before. Then it became a habit and rather than listen to him whine and beg, I gave in, especially when the 2nd baby was born and I needed my sanity in those sleep-deprived days. He would watch TV all day if I'd let him and I'm seriously making an effort to reduce the amount of time, especially in light of that new study that just came out.
In the meantime, I try to engage him in activities, art projects, I give him ideas to get him started on pretending (like coloring a big box we received a package in yesterday and then pretending it was a cave and putting his plastic animals in there, just an example). But the minute I am not completely involved WITH him, he loses interest and begins asking me what I am going to play with him, and when I tell him sometimes that I have other things to do, he just asks, "Whhhhhyyyy?" in this awful nagging voice. ALL DAY LONG. If I'm not in his face every minute, he walks around looking dejected and sad, just the most pitiful sight you've ever seen. My ds is also a huge talker. He talks alllll day and after EVERY statement, if I don't acknowledge him with an "oh" or "okay" or "yeah?" he will say it over and over and over until I do. I'm losing my mind!
Please tell me I haven't reached a point where this can't be remedied. I'm feeling so guilty. But also so frustrated and suffocated. I can't have a moment's peace. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
Kristen
Paolo 11-21-00
Benjamin 8-21-03