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View Full Version : What am I doing wrong here?



ChicagoMama
04-26-2004, 12:01 PM
Mornings are a disaster at my house about 3 out of 5 days. The baby is soooo cranky, but won't eat (probably a reflux thing we're still working out). But Shelby, the toddler -- she is soo cranky, too. It's like if I am not 110% focused on them, they both lose it. And all I'm trying to do is put away the occasional basket of laundry while we all play in Shelby's room before going downstairs, or put away breakfast dishes and quickly straighten the kitchen.

I feel like the obvious answer is "well, just focus on them and leave everything else for later." But I believe that the household shouldn't revolve around them 100% of the time. They are members of the household, and the household doesn't run unless mommy can also do the other things she is responsible for. I should be able to play along with them and put away laundry, or quickly put away breakfast dishes while dancing to a CD in the kitchen without having cranky fits. And I should be able to take a shower in the mornings a couple of times a week without having the next two hours be complete tantrum city.

Also, I don't feel that everything should be put off until they nap. Occasionally, I would like for that to be MY time, not always housework time (they only nap at the same time about 1-2 times per week anyway).

I'm frustrated with all the crying and crankiness in the mornings. Morning should be happy time but it seems within 5 minutes of trying to multitask they both disintegrate. It doesn't matter if it is before, during, or after breakfast.

Thoughts or suggestions? Or do I need to adjust this expectation down to negative as well in order to have any personal satisfaction? It seems like I am not allowed to have any expectations at all these days. Do I have to start getting up at 6am just to do those little things I want to do and then give every last ounce of my energy to the kids? Can't they just take 90% sometimes? Obviously I'm very frustrated here and any thoughts or suggestions are much appreciated.
Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/16/03

toomanystrollers
04-26-2004, 09:00 PM
Becky,
What time do the girls get up in the morning and what time's bedtime? And yes - 6am sounds 'bought right :) - I sneek downstairs and have my coffee alooooooooooooooooooooone!!!!

redhookmom
04-26-2004, 10:44 PM
When my kids get up I focus on them for about the first half hour. I put on music, set out water and fruit, and snuggle with them on the sofa. As they move away from me I start to do my thing.

I read Seven Times the Sun which I found helpful. It is Waldorf inspired book that is about daily rhythms. One of the ideas that I came away with is that children have to fit into the daily rhytms of life. Chores must be done and children do best when they become part of the rhythm rather then parents trying to do daily chores when the kids are sleeping.

Discription from back of book:

A one-of-a-kind book--full of ideas, reflections, and practical advice offering a fresh view of daily life in the home and family. Weaving songs, stories, family rituals, and verses throughout, mother and educator Shea Darian shows how to bring joy to such daily events as mealtimes, going to bed, chores, naps, and playtime.

Here is a link to a Waldorf site, as I have wandered around this site I have found parenting inspirations. This page is about routines:

http://www.waldorfhomeschoolers.com/routines.htm