What to do about pretend hitting?

[christic]

Anyone else deal with this?

I know she's testing boundaries, but I'm just not sure how to react in this situation. Alice will pull back her little hand like she's going to hit me and then either bring it down and not touch me or sort of turn it into an unconvincing pat. This only happens with me, and I know she's watching very closely to see what I'll do--unfortunately I don't know what I should do.

A real hit is an automatic time out--but what about these weird pretend ones? Should even acting it out be cause for a time out also? Too complicate matters on vacation Daddy taught her to run and pretend box a la Rocky Balboa x(. No time out if she pretends to punch the air, but time out if it's in the direction of a person???

Mainly I've been trying to just get up and away from her and the distraction ends it but then wonder if I should try harder to get it to stop altogether. It doesn't happen very often, but the next time it does I'd rather have a plan for handling it...help!

[egoldber]

My DD does this too. When she pretend hits, she does not get timeout, but we talk about hitting and how we don't hit. I also attempt to re-direct to something else.

It is EXTREMELY aggravating I know.

[Karenn]

This is a little out of the blue, but what about maybe reinforcing the fact that she DIDN'T hit you by saying something like, "That's right, you know you're not supposed to hit mommy. I'm glad you know that." I wonder if it just her way of making sure she knows where the boundaries are? I don't have any real experience with this, but that's what came to mind.

[lisams]

All I can say is that I'm listening real carefully to suggestions, DD has started this too. So frustrating!!!!!!! She just looks right at me and gives me the "watcha gonna do" look.

Lisa

[raynjen]

I have no experience with this precise dilemna, but with very similar stuff (aka 'almost' touching something that is forbidden). I ignore it completely.

I am really becoming a believer in parts of the "1.2.3 Magic" book - specifically that, on the whole, parents talk too much and emote too much. She obviously knows that the actual behavior is wrong "and I know she's watching very closely..." and that is what you want her to understand. She is trying to see, specifically, where the edge of that behavior is.

You can't define every rule in life, some of it has got to be common sense or you will be in the emergency room some day with a child who is saying, "but you didn't tell me NOT to jump off the garage!"*

Jen in Okinawa
Mom to Noelle (2 2/3)
Architect in a previous life!
*an actual incident in my husband's childhood =)

[christic]

>She is trying to
>see, specifically, where the edge of that behavior is.

I think that's part of my problem--defining for myself exactly what that edge is, especially the times shen she looks like she's going to hit but then turns it into a little pat. Was that really a pat or just a soft hit??? But that will soon drive me crazy!

It's interesting because as annoying as it is she does seem to be acknowledging that she knows she's not supposed to hit--sort of what Karen said above too.

What complicated creatures these toddlers are :). Thanks for the posts everyone!