Help me understand why DD is SO aggressive!!!

[Mommie2MadLyn]

I am really driving myself crazy trying to figure out where this is coming from? DD has been going through a very aggressive "stage" for at least 6 months now! It is really starting to upset me because I know that she knows this behavior is unacceptable, but she continues to act this way with other kids. She pushes, hits, and has even been known to bite other children when they are playing with her. The thing that I can't figure out is why?? She will be playing nicely and then for no apparant reason, she will just swat at the other child. Luckily, the biting thing hasn't happened in a while but the hitting and pushing continues to be a problem. I give her "time-out" and I am constantly trying to explain to her that "we don't hit our friends EVER". Whats worse is that we just moved and I am trying to make some new "mommy friends", but who would want to have a playdate with a kid that is going to be bullying their child the whole time? Doesn't exactly make for a fun time KWIM? We belong to Gymboree and before we go in every week, DD has started reciting my "lecture" herself! She will say " Mommy...no hitting,no pushing, and no screaming right?" This tells me that she does KNOw she's not supposed to do these things. Is she just trying to get attention? What have you done other than redirect and give "timeouts" because this doesn't seem to be working and I am really getting depressed. Any suggestions would be helpful.

[brigmaman]

Ah, Madison. Perhaps she misses her friends up north! Just kidding...Brig has just started hitting/kicking/throwing when he's tired or gets mad at me. He hasn't done it to anyone other than me, but I'm still looking to do something about it. Timeouts are a joke. Brig will now purposely do something that he's been given a timeout for and then say, "chair" (where I put him for his timeouts) or he'll hit and say at the same time, "No hit mommy." Yeah, we need to try something new. There's been a ton of talk about 123 Magic (a book- not sure of exact name). I'll look into it further tonight and let you know. We've got our computer set up so I'll email you or post when I know more.