HELP! Separation anxiety at bedtime

[colleenfs]

Any advice for dealing with *severe* separation at bedtime? Julia has never been a great sleeper, but we had things pretty well controlled earlier this summer...

But since August, we have moved (locally, but it is still a new house), moved her from a toddler bed to a big girl bed, and she has started preschool. Strangely, she has had no issues with Mommy leaving her at school. But she has a very hard time being alone at home, she does not fall asleep easily, and she wakes up several times per night, seeking Mommy. Once she sees me, she is content to be led back to bed, and will usually allow me to leave. Until the next wake up! If Daddy tries to help, she screams and hollers "See Mommy!" so that is no help.

She tells me that she likes her new house and her new room. I know she likes preschool; she still has all her old friends and activities. She was also FINE the first 2-3 weeks after we moved to the new house. Then she got a cold in early Sept, and it all fell apart after that.

We are at our wits end. Any advice?

~Colleen
Mama to Julia 1-10-02

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[luvbeinmama]

Do you know why she is waking up in the middle of the night? Is she cold? DS has insisted that I be in his room or in the hall where he can see me when he goes to sleep, but he sleeps all night long. The halloween stories have him a bit freaked at night, and he was already afraid of the dark. Anyway, I think the most important thing for you right now is to determine if there is a way to keep her asleep at night. I mean, you can be with her until she falls asleep the first time, but doing this all night is non-productive. Will she keep covers on at all? Can you dress her a bit warmer? Can you warm up her room? DS often has kicked his covers off when I check on him, but then I cover him back up & he seems to be able to keep them on the rest of the night. I'm trying to think of anything I can.

Also, she may like all her new stuff, but it is still a big change and still a lot of stress on a little one. So it may not seem like it's affecting her, but I bet it is part of the problem.

Hugs & sleep-wishes coming your way!

[Roleysmom]

Colleen, Roley was born six days before Julia and we are going through the same thing. Like you, we've had a series of changes in a very short period of time (stayed at SIL's house all sleeping in the same bed for a week while our floors were finished, switched rooms with Roley when we got back, got the big girl bed a couple of days later) and they have drastically effected her sleep. Time seems to be the only thing helping around here. The first week or so she made me and DH sleep with her until she fell asleep and then would wake up at night and ask for me (something she had never done before.) Now, a couple of weeks later, she does not wake up and we have been able to sit on the floor near her bed without being in it. Last night I left while she was still awake and it was okay. Putting music on does seem to soothe her some.

Something that hasn't worked for us is the introduction of a new doll or stuffed friend that would specifically be her bedtime buddy. We've tried a doll that I surprised her with and a stuffed animal that she selected. We explained what a bedtime buddy's job was, and then once we got to bedtime, bam, on the floor with shouts of, he's not my bedtime buddy! I was so sure it would work too!

If you come up with anything that works, please share!

Paula -- mom to Roley Julia, January '02

[colleenfs]

Well, next week we are talking to The Sleep Lady. Let's hope she is worth the money!! I'll let you know how it goes in a few weeks. Has anyone here worked with her before? http://www.sleeplady.com/

~Colleen
Mama to Julia 1-10-02

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[tippy]

No advice, just hugs. Please let us know how your "Sleep Lady" session goes.
Teva
Mom to AJ born 1-8-03

[trumansmom]

Let us know how that goes. DS has ALWAYS had sleep issues, and they are getting worse again. I might be interested in trying her as well.

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and Eleanor 4/14/04