How do I get DH to relax with DS?

[DebbieJ]

This is driving me crazy! My DH is WAY overprotective of DS. We'll be outside and DS will want to run down the sidewalk, but DH is 2 inches behind him, ready to catch him if he falls. He is a little boy. He falls. It happens. He has plenty of scrapes, bumps, and bruises. But he's fine.

I feel this is hampering our outside family time. I like to go outside, hang out, take a walk after dinner. DH just cannot let DS be. DS wants to climb up our front patio or the front patio of our neighbors. It's concrete and it's only two steps! But DH is there, running in and swooping DS up lest he fall. He did this the other day when a bunch of neighbors were hanging out in the driveway at one neighbor's house. DS didn't want to be held, so DH ended up taking him home.

I know I shouldn't tell him how to parent his own son, but I would really like him to lighten up! I want to be able to sit outside and relax and let DS run around with the other kids a little bit. I also think some of our neighbors may be laughing at DH for being so overprotective.

Any thoughts?

~ deb
DS 12/03
And a niece or nephew arriving in early August!

http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/user_files/10029.gif

[deborah_r]

I don't know if I can help, but I can share a funny observation about my husband. He worries about little things like that all the time, oh, he's gonna fall off the bed, the couch, be careful. Hello, he's 2 and he's landing on carpet! And usually he doesn't fall! But I kept mentioning, for about 6 months or so, that we really needed to fence in our 3rd floor balcony, in case we forgot to latch the sliding door or DS figured out how to open it. Guess who ended up doing it? Me. He worries about the little things, but here there is this huge danger of him getting on the porch and falling through the railing (about 6 inches between the railings) and it doesn't really concern him much. I know it was unlikely, but to me it was a risk I wasn't willing to take. I feel SO much better since I fenced it in, and he can play out there a little now (supervised, of course)

Edit: In DH's defense, I know one of the reasons he didn't want to do the fencing is that we are hoping to move, but since that keeps on not happening, I don't feel we can wait it out. In my mind we could be moving in one day, and he could fall off the balcony that day. Too scary!

[MelissaTC]

My DH is the same way and my little guy is soon to be 3. I tell him all the time that DS's behavior is normal and if he falls, we will deal with it. I am the one that takes care him most of the time so I guess I am just used to it. I think kids should be able to explore, run around, and even get themselves into a little bit of trouble. That is what being a kid is all about!

[hjdong]

I agree with Melissa that a lot of it for us is that I'm with DS more, so I know better DS' abilities. Your DH probably still thinks of him as a baby. Could you give him a job - "Teach DS to . . ." and then you sit back and relax and not worry about how DH goes about it? The more he interacts, the more he will prbably realize the baby is turning into a little boy.

Good luck.