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TraciG
03-09-2004, 06:02 PM
Right now Sydney is tired & crying in her crib, she doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own, she is 4 months old & needs to learn very soon, she sleeps with me, falls asleep nursing & in th eday in her swing, it's very hard when we're out or at someones house like my mother-in-law because she gets so overtired & hysterical, the comfort nursing doesn't always work what do I do.

I cant stand it, right now I'm trying to ler her cry 5 minutes & pick her up to calm her then put her back in, so hard I think she must be wondering whay she's in there, I need serious help !!!!!!!

deborah_r
03-09-2004, 06:21 PM
It was sometime between 4.5 and 5 months that my son "let me know" he was ready to fall asleep on his own. I was rocking him like I always did for naps and he was fighting me and getting crankier, so I layed him down in the crib (swaddled), patted him a bit and said my "good nites" and he went to sleep.

Obviously this will not happen for everyone, but what I'm saying is she just might not be ready yet. If you rock her to sleep, can you then transfer her to the crib? Have you tried elevating her head (carseat, or raise the mattress a little by putting pillows or blankets under the mattress?

For your MIL's house, I would have suggesting getting the Travel swing since you are there often, but who knows how much longer she will be in the swing. You could get the FP Aquarium Cradle swing (I think that's what it's called) for MIL's house, and I hear with that one there are not bars that she can reach so you can use it longer. If you are at their house a lot, you should have some kind of sleep solution there for her.

I'm sorry if these suggestions aren't any help - every baby is different and I think you just have to keep trying things until you stumble onto something that works. Does she have reflux? Is she still having trouble with the formula? Could be tummy troubles...

I feel for you, I know this has been difficult for you and I hope you and Sydney get some rest soon!

TraciG
03-09-2004, 07:13 PM
We recently did buy a travel swing for my MIL's house, it's cute but it's to slow & it has hanging fish , it's a good toy for her but to distracting to sleep in, at home we have the Ocean wonders swing u are talking about & lately she doesn't always want to go in it now right away, I have to let her comfort suck a little while first.
Before after she fell asleep nursing I carried her to the crib but she wakes up right away, a very light sleeper ! Because I tried to get her to nap in the crib she now missed a nap & it will be harder after she eats soon to sleep, I'm dreading trying again. My mother thinks she should be out of the swing by now, she's says she's spoiled because she can only sleep that way, I dont think that's
spoiled . It's not easy to let your baby cry, i know I give in to quick !

I asked the doc about reflux she said the baby would be in pain, Sydney jsut spits up all the time MESSY !

thanks for your help :)

hobey
03-09-2004, 07:36 PM
Traci:

Sydney is definitely NOT spoiled if she can only sleep in the swing. Please don't let your relatives make you question what you feel is right for her.

As far as the sleep issues, could she be too hot or too cold? We found that DS tends to be cold during the night so when we put him in a blanket sleeper, he slept better. We also transitioned from percale to flannel sheets and used a heating pad to heat the sheets since the shock of the cold sheets resulted in him waking up right away crying. Do you swaddle her? It may help if she tends to startle herself awake. My desperation move is to put DS in a sling and carry him around until he falls asleep. You could try wearing her to sleep and just putting her down with the sling. A friend of mine also did this with his Baby Bjorn--he just unfastened the Bjorn into the crib and let DD sleep on it.

I too am blessed with a heavy spitter. Nathan has very mild reflux so we're managing it using elevation. We put one of those universal crib wedges under his crib mattress and in his bassinet and it minimizes spit up while sleeping (always guaranteed to wake him) and seems to help him sleep sounder.

Hang in there! I hope some of my suggestions help.

Raquel
Nathan's Mom 12/19/03

stillplayswithbarbies
03-09-2004, 08:34 PM
she is too young to be doing any sort of sleep training with her. Pick her up and soothe her to sleep. You might want to get a sling so that you can move around while she sleeps on you.

Follow your instincts, don't let her cry in the crib.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

egoldber
03-09-2004, 08:36 PM
Traci, what you describe is very normal for a 4 month old. My DD fell asleep nursing until she was almost 6 months old. And even then, it wasn't until she almost 8 months old that she would do it consistently. Some babies fall asleep on their own at that age, but I think it is the exception rather than the rule.

I think you need to forget what others are saying and follow your instincts. Listening to your MIL, etc., is only going to drive you crazy. Believe me, I've been there! It is VERY hard to be out and about with a young infant, and the more you can stay home and get a routine established (especially without a critical audience), the happier you will be.

Good luck!

22tango
03-09-2004, 10:19 PM
For another reference point, Karenna didn't start really sleeping on her own until 8 or 9 months old. It's HARD! We do know. Every baby is different -- and you know your own baby BEST. If Sydney doesn't sleep well without a swing, then go ahead and use the swing. If she'll sleep best in your arms then try using a sling. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for responding to your baby!!!

I also believe 4 months is too young to try to sleep train -- I'd wait a few more months! We waited until Karenna was old enough to understand concepts like "naptime" so she would know WHY. I could never let her cry when she was younger and had no concept of why Mommy or Daddy would pick her up sometimes and not othertimes!

TraciG
03-09-2004, 11:26 PM
I really thinks she sleeps best there, I just dont know what to do when we're not home for hours, I feel like she is almost in pain because she's so tired & cant sleep & I get so anxious, I feel sometimes like it's not worth it to go out. I really do love her sleeping with me, my husband just worries that if we contine to let her sleep there she'll be there until 2 or 3 years old, also my doc said to get her out of the bed, I know that's her opinion !

Torey
03-09-2004, 11:35 PM
Let her sleep in the swing during the day. It won't hurt her and you can always turn it off when she falls sound asleep and just let her sit there. Our DD slept in her swing for months. I can count on one hand the number of times she slept in her crib during the day before the 6 month mark. Like a previous poster said - get a sling or carrier for the times that you are out of the house and just wear her around - she'll learn to sleep quite comfortably there. Trust me, they are too young to learn (some do it naturally, the rest just have to get older before they are ready to nap well). And don't fret about nursing her to sleep - try to anticipate when she will need to nurse/and be slightly tired so you can find a quiet and dark room to nurse her in (if you are out of the house). My DD nursed to sleep for over a year (until she weaned herself) and now magically goes to sleep on her own.

papal
03-09-2004, 11:58 PM
Traci,
Forgive me if you think i am being too harsh but i honestly honestly honestly think that you need to change your pediatrician.
She tells you to start solids at 4 months and now she tells you to get Sydney out of your bed... i don't know.. just does not sound right to me.
And i agree with Beth, go with YOUR instincts.. nobody elses. If you cannot stand to see her cry then pick her up. She is too young to be trained and if you do start then you have to be very patient and very consistent.
Also, if she does not fall asleep at your MILs or anywhere else then don't go. She is just a tiny baby.. she needs ALL the sleep she can get.... i think it is really unfair to her if she keeps getting overtired. If she could speak I am sure she would be yelling 'Mom, I am tired, take me home, please!!!".
Anyway, that is just my opinion. Hope you don't mind.

pritchettzoo
03-10-2004, 12:42 AM
I agree with everyone. Go with your instincts. Tell everyone else to butt out. Someone else posted about learning the art of non-assention (I may have that wrong)...sort of an mmmhmmmm that you do to people who give you unsolicited advice that doesn't suit you. That way you're not being rude but you're not encouraging them to give you more either. Or, just tell them to shut up.

You said the ped said it wasn't reflux because she'd be in pain. How else can a baby express pain than by crying and spitting up? If you think something's not right then try another pediatrician.

And, if DD is that affected by going out, don't go out! You said it stresses you and her out, so don't do it. I don't go out until DD is napped and fed and happy. Then we toodle around until it's time to nap again. If she's overtired, then my life is miserable. Not the other people's lives, MY LIFE. So if it's within my power and I don't do it, I have only myself to blame.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

stillplayswithbarbies
03-10-2004, 11:46 AM
Logan napped in the swing for months and months. She still does sometimes.

Traci, you shouldn't be out for hours with a baby this young, not often anyway. She needs to nap and if she doesn't nap at someone else's house then you stay home. Can't they come and visit at your house?

As for the sleeping with you . . . there is nothing wrong with a 2 or 3 year old still sleeping with you. The US is the only culture where we routinely put our babies somewhere else to sleep. In most of the world, the children sleep with their mother or both parents.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

TraciG
03-10-2004, 03:46 PM
If I turn off the swing when Sydney is asleep she wakes up usually by 5 minutes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We eat dinner at my MIL's usually twice a week, definitely every Friday, her house or my husbands aunt, they both live close by, the other day Sydney just fell asleep in her swing & about 10 minutes later we had to leave so of course she woke up & by the time she fell asleep in the car we were there then she was awake & rubbing her eyes, I knew we were in trouble, tried the travel swing , didn't work, tried the nursing, worked for 5 minutes, we get there aound 7:30-8:00 & dont leave until 11:00, to much time for me !!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I think the tiredness passes because she's distracted for a little while. If it was up to me only we wouldn't be going there so often !!!!!! I wonder how it will be when she's older & needs to sleep at a decent hour !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband isn't American, his culture is VERY family oriented, too much for me at times !

papal
03-10-2004, 04:00 PM
Traci, we have a golden rule in our home.. if the baby is asleep we do not go anywhere! Because the poor thing wakes up and her nap is ruined and she is crabby. That is no fun for ANY of us. Same thing with going out for dinner. We tried it a couple of times with her and she was crying thruout because she was tired and sleepy. So we made a decision to not go out for dinner till she is older (or i muster up the courage to leave her with a babysitter) Her bed time is 6.30p so we are at home a LOT.
I guess what i am trying to say is that, in my opinion, in the first few months, your baby rules the roost. I know a lot of people (family) have told me NOT to do this... because then the baby will get used to a routine hence trapping us in the home forever. But for me, it really is a question of keeping her happy. So my advice to you is.. put your baby first. Your dh's family will come around. I know, in my culture (india) we are very family oriented too.. so i know what you might be going through. You have to put your foot down even if it makes you the evil daughter-in-law!!
Peace!

ericajosh
03-10-2004, 04:28 PM
I know this book isn't loved by everyone, but I found it very helpful for my DS: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth.
Also, I think that letting her cry 5 minutes and picking her up, then putting her back in is sending mixed signals. Perhaps try other methods of soothing her w/o picking her up right away (teddy bear, pacifier, etc.) If you pick her up and put her down I'm sure she'll cry cause she wants to be with you. Just make sure she's not hungry/dirty diaper.
My DS doesn't sleep well at other houses either. I try to avoid going out around his nap times. I agree with others that it is very early to be too rigid, but you also want to teach a few sleep habits so that she will learn to comfort herself. Look for early sleepy signs like blank stares, reluctance to play, yawns. Maybe you need to put her down earlier? Also, maybe seeing relatives gets her wired (too much stimulation)?
Hope that helps.
Just thought of something else: perhaps for 1 week, keep track of the times you see her becoming tired. then maybe you can try putting her down, in the same place, around those times each day (a bit earlier than the time she gets exhausted)-perhaps after a bath or book. soon enough she might get used to falling asleep at those times (worked for my ds).
-Erica

hobey
03-10-2004, 04:32 PM
Traci,

If you can't get out of your family obligations, is there a possibilty that you may be able to get a second swing for your MIL's house? Or any chance that DH can talk to his mother into an earlier dinner so you can get home at a decent time?

I repeat my previous suggestion of a sling since most babies, my son included, nap happily nestled next to mom. That would free up your hands and would get Sydney much needed sleep when you're out visiting.

I do agree with the other posters that it is better for you to let Sydney's schedule dictate your activities but I also know how family obligations are.

Raquel
Nathan's Mom 12/19/03

nitaghei
03-10-2004, 04:33 PM
ITA with Rashmi. I'm Indian too - and thankfully the only family I have close by is my brother, who totally understands - they have two kids of their own. Even if things were different, there is NO way I'd let anyone take precedence over my baby's needs. There is NO way I'd be staying out at until 11 pm twice a week with a baby. Heck, I didn't do it when I didn't have a baby, and only had dogs.

Traci, I'm really sorry if this sounds harsh, because I really don't mean it that way. I'm saying this because I'm really concerned about you and your family and your little girl. BUT - you have to remember that YOU are Sydney's mother, and YOU are responsible for her well-being. If it means staying home and ticking off the in-laws, and even DH - well, tough for them! You have to be assertive, for Sydney's sake and your own. Yes, cultural clashes happen, but this is about your baby's well-being. (BTDT- DH is American, I'm Indian, and we have pretty sharp differences on a lot of parenting issues but we're working through them, fortunately, without a family audience.) If you let your in-laws push you around now, it'll be that much worse once she's older. You have to assert your authority as Sydney's mother and insist that everyone else either fall in line with what YOU think is best for her or just back off.

Sleep deprivation is a bad thing - for both of you. Sydney, and you, need to get into a routine. That means she needs to be able to nap and sleep decently, and not be moved from place to place, especially at night. You need to rest too - for your own health and well-being and for your baby's. And yes, you are absolutely right, if she's overtired, she won't fall asleep. And YOU and your baby are the ones that deal with the consequences - the fatigue, misery and stress. No one else. It's absolutely NOT fair to either one of you - and you need to make it clear to your DH that he needs to support you on this.

You are not being a bad daugher-in-law if you put your foot down; you're being a good mother. You- and your DH - HAVE to put your baby's needs above family obligations at this time. Your husband's first loyalty is towards you and this wonderful child you have together, and to no-one else. If there's a conflict, he should put your and Sydney's well-being ahead of everything else.

Go see the in-laws once every 2 weeks - for an hour or so, during the day when it won't interfere with Sydney's naps. If DH insists on more frequent visits, let him go alone. Let them come over - maybe once a week, and no more - if you can handle it. Lay down some ground rules that will keep you sane, and Sydney happy, and stick with them. Trust your own instincts - they always seem to be right, so don't let random advice from assorted relatives mess you up (which seems to be uniformly bad from your posts). You are a great mother - just remember that - and you're the only one looking out for Sydney. Do what's right for her, and for you.

Sorry about the length of this post - and I do hope you take this the right way. If you want to talk, email me through the boards, and I'll be happy to give you my phone number.

Nita
mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

jec2
03-10-2004, 04:35 PM
If it was up to me only we wouldn't be going
>there so often !!!!!!
>
>My husband isn't American, his culture is VERY family
>oriented, too much for me at times !

Tracie, it IS up to YOU! WHO else would it be up to? This about YOUR family and what is good and healthy for it! YOU not only GET to, but HAVE to, make those decisions. Nobody else gets to. If your DH's family is very family oriented like you say, then they will have to, yes, HAVE TO, understand that you are doing what is best for YOUR family. You've had problems with them butting in about BFing, eating, and now sleeping. Please, take control of your family or else you will be dealing with variations of these problems for the rest of your life!

We too have an early bedtime--between 6 and 7. And it is sacred in our house. It is pretty much the most predictable thing we have going for us and ain't NOBODY going to screw with it.

Good luck with it all, I know how hard it is to deal with an overtired baby.

CarolynRS1
03-10-2004, 06:04 PM
I went through this with my first DD (now 19 months old). She had major colic and would only sleep with me at night. This went on for a few months. We moved her to the crib around 4 months--once she started cereal and would fall into a deeper sleep. However, she would be back in bed with me after her first night waking. Eventually, we were doing less sleeping together and she was able to sleep in her crib more. At 7 months, she still was not sleeping through the night (but was getting close) so we did the Ferber method and it worked beautifully. She is a GREAT sleeper now!

We also did all naps in swing during the day. We have a cradle swing that swings side to side. She use to take naps at my parents' house in her vibrating boucy seat. I also have a 4 month old DD and am using both the cradle swing and portible swing for daytime naps. Also the bouncy seat. I am lucky this time around--she sleeps in her bassinet at night. My other DD never did that.

I highly recommend reading The Ferber Book (What is the title of it? Can't remember) as well as the book that someone else recommended (Dr Weiss-something). Even if you do not want to do their "methods", they are a very useful read. I have both books and refer to them often.

Hang in there! This will pass :)

Carolyn

When your baby gets older and becomes mobile, she will start taking naps in her crib due to wearing herself out. Everything will fall into place. Take baby steps. Start trying to put her in the crib for naps when you feel she (and you) are ready for it.

For now, using the swing is fine and do not feel guilt over it. These phases never last forever.

Rachels
03-10-2004, 06:26 PM
I agree with all these posts! That's simply an inappropriate hour to be out with a baby, and you're setting her (and you) up for long-term sleep problems. I definitely think that it's okay to snuggle and nurse and comfort her to sleep, but I also think that it's important to respect that she's a human being who needs a predictable bedtime. Babies aren't dolls. Just because she can't talk to you doesn't mean her needs are less real than yours-- or your in-laws'. You are her mother. She needs you to advocate for her and to get her into bed at a baby-centered time.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

TraciG
03-10-2004, 07:01 PM
I bet when we're at my MIL's Sydney is overstimulated, her 2 aunts run to the door when we get there, they really love her, I tried the travel swing there the other day & I know sometimes Sydney cries a little before she falls asleep & i'm fine with that as long as it's not longer then 5 minutes but my SIL took her out she said she isn't there that often ( yeah right ) and she couldn't let her cry, I really dont think she was going to fall asleep anyway but still, I do have to toughen up !!!!!!!

My husband first gets home from work 7:30-8:00 that's why we go so late, sometimes his mother will ask or tell him to come to dinner & he'll say to call me to ask, I feel weird to say no, i'm a BIG wimp !

Every Friday it's family night, grandpa, aunts, uncles & another baby who is 3 weeks older then Sydney & can sleep anywhere & is so calm & quiet.

I'm not to happy with my life these days except for my baby, maybe i'm just PMS ing, still haven't gotten my period, not complaining about that !!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's everyone I always love your responses & never get offended by anything u say, I need reassurance a lot of times as u all know by now !

chlobo
03-10-2004, 08:56 PM
I agree with everyone here. Our baby goes to sleep between 6:30 & 7 (at 4 months) and we plan all our nite activities around that. One of my friends thinks that's not good for us but I say what's good for the baby is good for us.

Momof3Labs
03-10-2004, 11:07 PM
11pm is too late for ANY child to be out IMO, unless it is just once in a rare while. Definitely not twice a week - heck, *I* couldn't handle being out until 11pm twice a week!

Traci, someone has to watch out for Sydney's needs and make sure that they are met. It doesn't sound like your DH or his family are doing that - so you need to! She is just a small, helpless baby and can't defend her needs, therefore YOU NEED TO DO IT FOR HER! Sleep is as essential as food; would you let someone deny her food when she is hungry? Then why would you let someone deny her sleep when she is tired?

This is a tough battle, I know, but I've said it to you before and will say it again - it will only get harder as she gets older!

papal
03-10-2004, 11:39 PM
As much as Sydney's aunts love her, they do not know what is good for her and they need YOU to tell her that.
Let me explain by example (since i am not good with words like Nita and others!)
My sister (older by a year) loves Leela. She drives down from NYC, once a month, just to see her. She is older than me but has not started a family yet and so she is CLUELESS about what it takes to raise a child. So at first she was really surprised that Leela napped so much, as all babies do! She wanted her to be awake so she could watch her play. I had to tell her that it was time for Leela's nap and that was that. She understood.

What i am trying to say is this... they are all probably WAITING for you to give them direction and since you are not, they don't know what to do either. I was not a very vocal person before Leela either. But after having her, i realized that not even my mom knows as much about Leela as i do. And i always depended on my mom for advice. But now, i have to take charge. I am Leela's voice. I have to be her champion. And that may not make me the most popular person in the room but i don't care!
You are underestimating how much people will respect the decisions you make for Sydney. The might suggest other things but you just have to say you do not agree. You are the mom, even if they disagree, there is nothing they can do about it. Moms are powerful people in their children's lives!

I feel for you, that is why i keep posting. I so want you to take back the power that other people in your life are taking away from you. And i want what is best for your baby girl.

Hugs.

nitaghei
03-11-2004, 10:51 AM
Traci,

Every child is different. Just because the other baby can sleep in the chaos doesn't mean that Sydney should. She's an individual, and has her own responses to a situation and has her own needs, and everyone else has to respect that. And it's up to you, as her mother, to enforce rules that are optimal for Sydney.

You really need to get tough and say no. Sydney should be asleep by 7.30 pm. And if she is, and your mother-in-law calls, it is your DH's job to say no. But if he can't, then YOU have to be the one to say NO - or let your husband go by himself. It shouldn't come down to this choice, - your child or your DH/ in-laws, but it seems to have, and you have to choose Sydney. She has no-one else to look out for her, and she's a helpless baby. You are the one she's depending on, and you have to come through for her.

Please, email me at obedcocker @ yahoo.com (remove spaces), and I'll be happy to talk with you. I'll even call you, if you email me your phone number. I've seen what happens to kids when pushy in-laws/grandparents steamroller the parents and it's not pretty! (Just to clarify - not my situation, I LOVE my in-laws, and both set of grandparents respect our decisions on how to raise our child).

Nita
mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

lynettefrancois
03-11-2004, 10:56 AM
Traci- I agree with the other posters about you taking charge- only you can figure out what's best for your baby! I'm no expert, but from what I understand she should probably be asleep for the night by 7- you're going to have to put your foot down (yes, you can do it!). I highly recommend Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" book, as well as Karp's "Happiest Baby on the Block." If you need help convincing your DH about the importance of sleep for babies, get him to read Weissbluth!! It's a real eye opener on the effects of sleep deprivation, which is cumulative, and has a very scientific approach. According to Weissbluth, 4-5 months is a transition stage and your baby may be fighting to stay awake. You'll have to decide if she's ready for any type of sleep training yet (according to Weissbluth, a small percentage are at that age, but it depends on the baby! -he does help you figure out if you should even begin trying, and CIO is just ONE of the many ways to do sleep training.) I wouldn't try anything like that until you can at LEAST get her to bed for the night at a decent hour. You can help her sleep by following Karp's advice for Swaddling, Shushing, Side, Swinging, Sucking. If you don't swaddle correctly, it may not help her to sleep and may even make her fight harder to get out!
I was having similar problems with getting DD to sleep just recently- she was getting overtired and wired the last two weeks, and was finally inconsolable. First she wouldn't sleep in her crib for naps, then not the swing, and then not even my arms! My presence seemed to wind her up more. So I finally decided to unswaddle one arm and let her CIO for a few days to see if she could learn to soothe herself (torture for both of us at times). Initially I thought it was going to work, but last night, I decided it was too early for her- she would fall asleep by herself sometimes, but then wake herself up after a very short snooze. Weissbluth said this was part of the natural rhythm of sleep, a point where she is less asleep and may totally wake up if not comforted. But after 2 days she could not figure out how to soothe herself back to sleep at all, so I decided she wasn't going to anytime soon. Since I decided my baby was too young for Weissbluth's sleep training advice, I took Karp's book back out and swaddled even tighter than before! She is sleeping better again and not waking up too soon! And, I'm having an easier time getting her to sleep in the first place- less waking up when I put her in the crib. Looking back, I should have just done Karp's method in the first place (I thought I was, but really was only doing it halfway and didn't realize it, and halfway doesn't work). But hindsight's 20/20. This was what is working for us, so it may not work for you, but I HTH. In any case, it won't hurt to try Karp's advice. You are not alone in your sleep troubles- we're here for you! :)
And sorry for the tome ;)

TraciG
03-11-2004, 04:27 PM
that's the hard part, she wont just sleep in my bed I have to be holding her, nursing then when she falls asleep I lay her in my arm & lay dowm also, lately though she kicks & moves around & I have to nurse again, dont know why this is happening now so lately i'm leaning back & sleeping, that's a different problem ( they never end it seems ) I think they lonly way to get her to sleep early is when is goes in her crib to sleep , if that ever happens !!!!!!!!!

lizajane
03-12-2004, 10:34 PM
traci-

something happens at 4 months that makes sleep IMPOSIBLE. my baby is a super sleeper. he started sleeping through at 9 weeks! he napped for HOURS AND HOURS. and then we hit 4 months... he would NOT go down for a nap. he would NOT stay asleep. i thought i was going to LOSE IT!

start setting up your routine NOW. i agree- tell the family that you CANNOT COME. invite them to bring the food to YOUR house so that sydney can sleep. tell them that "the dr said you have to" or something like that so that they can't argue with you. then just know that this phase WILL END. at 5 months, schuyler was back to his normal self...napping away for hours on end. the whole 4 month old phase, i just stayed at home. i rocked and rocked. i shhhhhhhhhh'd and shhhhhhhhhh'd. and it finally all came back together.

also- you may want to try a noise maker. we used an air filter. you can buy a "white noise machine." around 4 months, babies become more aware of their surroundings and suddenly every little thing wakes 'em up. (i have TWO dogs... lemme just tell ya... bark bark bark...)

good luck. keep us posted.

lynettefrancois
03-15-2004, 12:02 PM
Yes try white noise!! I have a hepa filter on high when it's sleeping time, 6 feet from the crib and it's REALLY loud. It makes her go to sleep faster and longer (sometimes I forget and then realize that's why she won't go to sleep). Also, can you tell if she's gone into a deep sleep (muscles relaxed, flutter sucking gone, etc)? You may have to temporarily rock until she's past the light sleep phase- that could take a good 20 minutes. Will she take any kind of pacifier? My baby will only take the Gerber brand, and I just figured out I had to move up to the 6 month size already because the 0-6 month she started having a hard time keeping in- I guess because it was too small now? I've also started keeping my hand under her head in the crib for a minute until the sheet warms under her head- less of a shock. Anyway, DEFINITELY try some white noise- try turning on the vaccuum cleaner!

Vajrastorm
03-15-2004, 02:36 PM
For white noise we use the "For Crying out loud" cd. Its awesome!

bnme
03-15-2004, 02:49 PM
Forgive me as I have read this very quickly and only have a minute to reply. Sorry if I am repeating others advice or not really answering the question.....

But My DS napped in his swing until he outgrew it (maybe 6 months?). I had the Aquarium swing and I also had one at my Mother's house since we are there frequently. If that is what works for you, go with it. I got him used to napping in other places since I knew the swing was not forever, but I knew I could count on the swing when I needed it. The 2nd one was worth the $$ for us. We are going to Florida in December when my 2nd will be about 4 months and my husband jokes that we should ship the swing down to the hotel (who even knows if this baby will like it! ;) )

I would also read Weissbluth -not that I swear by him but I think he has a lot of good info in the book.

Good luck. Maybe you can try and compromise on the family time somehow. The times you are there seem impossible to me!!! Maybe you can drop by in the afternoon and visit and your husband can go to the nighht time gatherings alone?? I have a friend who has a similar situation with her husband regarding the family and I know it must be hard (and my friend doesn't even have kids yet!!).

NEVE and TRISTAN
03-15-2004, 05:20 PM
Traci,
I just read quickly thru and you've gotten some great advice.
I wanted to add, though I didn't see where you wrote you are out till late, but folks referred to it. We too go to friends etc... till late at times...But when we do this we ALWAYS have a portable palette for Tristan to fall asleep on, and scout out a nice place for him where he is safe and comfortable.

Packing his stuff is our priority, but wanted to jump in that if you are in such a situation having a "portable" way to sleep helps...

We are pretty social with friends etc... and he has only been at a babysitters once, so it has worked for us by doing it this way...



Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

icemamma
03-15-2004, 09:47 PM
I'm a first time mom and a very lazy lurker, so I don't have much to add but just had to chime in that I sympathize with you and encourage you to assert yourself with DH's family. I'm also a wimp with my in-laws. We live in the same town as them and away from my parents (which might be a good thing ;). Anyway MIL have all sorts of opinions but I keep telling myself that DD comes first, I come next! So if DD needs to sleep I ask to be excused to another room so nobody can bother us.

It's near impossible for me to say no to my in-laws (only DH does) so if it were me I would concentrate on helping her sleep in the swing rather than not go out at all.

Good luck,

i c e m a mm a