Night Nursing at 15 Months

[kaitlinsmommy]

Okay, I'll admit it, I still nurse dd back to sleep 2 or 3 times a night but would like to quit doing this. She starts out in her crib but ends up sleeping with us and it is just so easy to nurse her then. I have Pantley's book and just started reading Weissbluth. He says that bf while co-sleeping does not usually cause "sleep fragmentation" because we are both still basically asleep.

My gut is telling me that to quit night nursing, I will just have to say no to her and hold her while she cries. Does anyone have any advice to offer? Do you think that when we are past this, she will continue to wake up at night?

I haven't minded this but am ready to get a full night's sleep and would like to tackle this before I'm pregnant again.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Elizabeth Pantley's book "No Cry Sleep Solution" addresses breastfeeding and cosleeping. She says that you have to get the baby used to falling asleep without the nipple in her mouth, so you pop the babe off while she is just about to fall asleep. If she cries, put her back on for a little bit and try again. Keep trying and she will learn to fall back asleep without the breast.

I have not tried this yet, but Susan (spu) posted here recently about using this method with her twins.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Rachels]

I've tried the method that Karen mentioned, and with lots and lots of tenacity, it does work. Abigail generally falls back asleep much quicker now, although we often still nurse. One thing it has done is help me to identify nightwakings that occur just because a sleep cycle has ended vs those that happen when she isn't feeling well in some way.

It sounds like you might be ready to nightwean, though. I'm toying with this myself, although I think we're not quite there. Anyway, if you think you and your baby are ready for that, there are several resources for you. One is to post at www.mothering.com/discussions, where there are lots of people who have nightweaned gently who can share their stories. (Try a search if you're not comfortable posting-- you'll come up with quite a lot.) Also, look up www.drjaygordon.com. He has a gentle nightweaning plan for babies over one year who cosleep. It worked really well for a good friend of mine. HTH! (And meanwhile, don't be embarrassed about nursing your baby, even at night! It's what we're biologically programmed to do.)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[22tango]

We recently had success with gentle nighweaning!! It took awhile, but it requires the help of your DH -- mine is quite proud of his accomplishment and his newly energized wife!! :D

She was down to waking once or sometimes twice per night. Each time Karenna would wake past the time I went to bed, he would go to her and try to settle her by holding & rocking her and then telling her it was "time for sleeping" and lay her back down. At first she'd balk and point to the door and cry "mama" & "nur nur" (our phrase for "nursing") so after giving him a chance, I'd come in and settle her with her usual night nursing. We did this for about a month -- with him always going to her first -- and then suddenly she started letting him comfort her and put her back to sleep. After about a week of that she just stopped waking entirely.

I'm pretty sure this helped, although the fact that she's older now (turning 18 months tomorrow) and not currently teething has been a BIG help with the process.

Good Luck!!!

[COElizabeth]

I nightweaned my son at about 13 months. I read most of Pantley's book and found some of her suggestions helpful, but overall the book didn't really help me because DS wasn't falling asleep at the breast - he just would wake up, cry, nurse, and then go back into the crib still awake - several times a night. I couldn't really cut down on the nursing time, because the sessions were already only about a minute or two long. Unless I pulled my breast out of his mouth the instant I latched on, I couldn't cut back much more! So I ran out of "gentle" ways to help him make the transition, and I did let him cry some. I started by saying I would not nurse during some interval (say, 10 to 4), and that was I think one of Pantley or Gordon's suggestions.

Sometimes I fudged a little on the interval, but I made it my general rule. When DS woke up in the middle of that period, I would go in and soothe him and lay him back in his crib, over and over. I would go in every few minutes. He did cry, but I always went in as soon as I knew he was really awake and crying, and I would keep going in every few minutes until he finally went back to sleep (I can't remember how long the longest period I let him cry in between going in times, but I don't think more than 10 minutes - maybe as much as 15 minutes a couple of times, but usually my times were more like 2 minutes). That was hard, because frankly it was a lot easier to nurse him and then put him back down calm and quiet! But he was waking up more and more at night, not less, so I felt I needed to do something.

To answer your question, no, it did not make him stop waking up at night! After I had not nursed him at night for a month, he was still waking up and then taking hours to go back to sleep and acting in pain (by then I was trying rocking or any other soothing thing I could think of besides nursing). We put him on Zantac on suspicion that his reflux problems had returned, and within two days he slept through the night completely. That was about 4 months ago, and we've gone through periods of good sleeping, horrible sleeping, mediocre sleeping, you name it, but never gone back to nursing at night (well not before 4 AM!). He's off the Zantac now and at 17 months, he has slept 11 or 12 hours straight the past couple of nights, but I know better than to have any expectation about the next night! I don't know if James would still be waking up several times a night to nurse if I hadn't decided to stop, and I think it's very hard to predict what will happen to a child's sleep patterns. At least, my child is completely unpredictable about sleep! I hope this isn't too discouraging! I think it's worth trying if it's something you want to do, and even if it doesn't lead to dramatic improvements in sleep, it may help you identify other possible problems. I seriously thought DS was just in the habit of waking and eating, and I am sure that was part of it, but now I think he was really in pain for some of that time, and I wish I had suspected that earlier.

Good luck!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[lizajane]

schuyler started the nightwakings after many rounds of teething, illness, travelling, etc. (he was much younger, at around 9 months) when he finally was well and at home, he would still wake up and expect to be nursed back to sleep. i stopped nursing him at night pretty much at once. he did cry, yes. but after one night of crying, he stopped waking up. i realize that this is NOT the popular opinion here, but CIO will not damage your child and it will work VERY quickly for most babies (with a few exceptions, i am sure). so if your gut is telling you to stop cold turkey and just reassure her when she wakes up, don't feel too bad about it. do what is best for your family.

[shishamo]

We nightweaned exactly the same way, with my DH's help. We were more strict, I never went in from the day 1 - so for the first few nights, she was quite unhappy. On the other hand, since we were very consistent about this, she was letting my DH comfort her after 3 days, and she was sleeping through after 5-6 days. I can't remember when we did this, but I think my DD was about 15 month or so.

[kaitlinsmommy]

Thank you for all your wonderful suggestions! I read some Weissbluth but returned the book today because I'm just not on the same page as him. So, I've gone back to Pantley's book and will try to be more dedicated to her methods. I hope if I keep trying and pull her off before she's totally asleep, it will eventually work.

I am very envious of your husbands who are willing to get involved. DH has never gotten up with Kaitlin and, unfortunately, he travels a lot for work so he's not able to half the time anyway. Still, I think we'll revisit this and I'll have to put my foot down with him.

I'm also going to visit the two websites mentioned. Thanks again!

[wendmatt]

Emily is back and forth on sleeping, pretty much a nightmare though! Last week she was sleeping from 7pm-6am (woo hoo!) before that she was up 1-3 times, this week she's back to 1-3 times. I have no idea why she starts waking up again, doesn't always seem to be teething . I put her down awake at bedtime but she will only go back to sleep by nursing. I have found if I respond immediately (no toilet visits!)to her waking it's easier to get her off and sometimes she'll start sleeping through again. I keep saying I'm not going to nurse at night but it's so much easier and quicker to nurse so I give in!
One thing I have found is if she naps well in the day there's a better chance for sleeping through (Weissbluth seems to be right about that one).
Good luck and let me know if you hit on the right answer!