Doc says Ferber method to sleep

[TraciG]

I am DREADIMG tonight but I am going to do this ,I have no other choice, the doc says she will learn to sleep this way, have to be consistent, says she should be in her crib between 7 - 8 :00.

Wish me luck I'll need it :(

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Traci,
I know nothing about any sleep training...but wanted to let you know my PED who I think the world of, and I think a good 4-5 of us here go to him also recommends FERBER. I am not endorsing, nor am I offering any opinion for I do not know anything about sleep training...but felt the need to share that with you.

Now when he recommends it (at what age) I do not know!!!!!!!

Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[nc_hope]

Neve,

If you don't mind me asking (since I am also in the Raleigh area) who is your PED? I'm just curious if we happen to have the same one, especially since you mentioned that so many others also use the same person. I understand if you'd rather not say.

TIA!
Hope

[mcades]

Ferber-ing may be painful the first night, or two at the most, but I'll swear by it!! Worked incredibly well for both of my boys. I honestly hated those 2 nights, but sooo worth it. Now the kids put themselves to sleep for naps, & sleep through the night. Ahh. I'm such a better mom because of it. Hang in there & good luck!
~Michelle

[RiaHannam]

I've never had to *Ferberize* my first 3 kids since I got them used to sleeping on their own from the beginning. However with my last one who is now 10 mos I chose to co-sleep and nurse to sleep and have not regretted it at all. It works for me and my lifestyle and my hubby is supportive. I do understand though that this is not the choice for everyone and I respect different parenting perspectives.

You might get some flak for what you are doing but it does work. I know from friend's experiences with it. But please remember if you are going to do this please be consistent with your plan. If you abandon the plan one night and not the other that just sends confusing signals to your baby and is not fair.

Good luck and hopefully soon everyone will be sleeping peacefully!

[Rachels]

Does your doctor know that not even Ferber recommends sleep training at Sydney's age? Seriously, Traci, I KNOW how hard it is to have a child who doesn't sleep, but also, from what you've described, you've had a wildly unpredictable evening routine and she has had a lot of gas and belly pain. I wish you would give yourself some time to try to solve those things before you resort to just leaving her to cry. You have to do what feels right to you, obviously, but I personally think that forcing a baby to cry it out should be a last resort. A lot of what it takes to get a baby to sleep at this very young age is consistent, predictable nighttime parenting. And NO baby who is hurting is going to sleep well. I'm not saying don't try Ferber-- I know that some people find it helpful in getting a baby to go to sleep without crying-- but I wish you'd wait until you got that other stuff in better shape. She's responding exactly how I'd expect her to given what you've described her circumstances to be. I don't really see how not responding to her cries is going to help you in the long run.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[Imperia]

No offense, but I don't know that I would trust your ped reccomending Ferber for such a young baby, or reccomending you try a method you are not comfortable with.

WARNING: I am going to express my opinion on Ferber, if you don't like it, skip it...

I know this is a hot topic, and this is just my personal opinion, but I will never ferberize my baby EVER for any reason. I don't care if she has to sleep with me until she is 16; I think it's cruel to force a baby to sleep on it's own before its ready by letting it cry and scream and sometimes vomit. *Edited*

I know people say they have gone in to check the child and reassure it etc, but in some cases that makes the child cry MORE because they can see the parent but not get to them to receive the kind of comfort they need.

Ferberizing may work for some people and if it does that's great. It does not work for all babies and it makes some worse: leads to daytime clinginess and anxiety in some babies. Also, I don't know about you but if someone left me alone to cry and scream myself to sleep that would give ME negative sleep associations (since they always talk about sleep association!) including negative associations with WHERE Iw as sleeping ie the crib which would result in a vicious cycle occuring. A lot of people say, "Hey it worked for us, the baby fell asleep after a couple of hours." Yes, because the baby was exhausted from crying and possibly even went into mild shock. A baby's response to trauma is to shut down/sleep which is basically why Ferber works in a lot of cases, but does that mean it's humane? Not in my opinion.

I think you always have a choice by the way. Just because someone is a peditrician does not make them GOd, and you can choose to toatlly ignore their advice if you so choose, or better yet, if they give you advice you don't agree with find a new one who will work with you and your child.

Good luck,

Imperia

[ericajosh]

I agree with Rachel. I know how hard it is to not get any sleep and to have a crying baby. However, I remember that there are some other factors in your evenings that might be causing the sleeping trouble. Also, your baby is a bit too young for Ferber as I understand it.
I would try to read as much as possible and create a calm environment for the baby first. Letting her cry it out when things seem "unpredictable" in the evening just doesn't seem fair. It really seems that she is reacting to the unpredictable evening routine. I doubt letting her cry it out will really help.

Try to take some time to read some sleep books and really figure out what the issues are regarding your baby's sleep. It will be well worth it. Good luck. "Healthy Sleep Habits" by Weissbluth is a quick read and easy to skim through. Keep us updated.
-Erica

[lisams]

I will agree with your ped in that you need to be consistent, and put Sydney down earlier than what you have been (I think you said betwen 9 and 10 in a previous post). I do not think using the Ferber method is good (for your situation right now) for a few reasons. First, Sydney isn't 6 months yet. Second if she is having gas, she is in pain and you need to address her cries for help, not ignore them. And thirdly, this is a drastic change since she has been sleeping with you, going to sleep as late as 10, and being able to nurse to sleep. She is going to go from that to being sleeping alone,put in her crib much earlier and left to cry herself to sleep. She's not going to know what the heck is going on. I would take it one step at a time and figure out what's causing the gas before you try Ferber.

Just my 2 cents. If you try Ferber tonight, good luck to the both of you.

Lisa

[deborah_r]

>I have no
>other choice


I am not going to judge your choice in doing Ferber (I personally have no opinion on Ferber as I've never tried it), but I guess it just worries me that you think it is the ONLY choice. If you said you've looked into different methods and you feel this is the BEST choice, I would feel more comfortable in supporting your choice.

I would just encourage you to explore other options, maybe search the archives here for sleep advice. Also, since the Lounge gets more traffic, you might want to ask people in the Lounge today to share their experiences with the Ferber method, as they may have done it and may have some helpful hints or pitfalls to watch out for. Maybe explain that you have decided to do this method, do not want to debate the merits, but what like to get some real life stories from people who have tried it. Just a thought.

I DO wish you luck in finding something that will work for you and Sydney.

[hobey]

>have to be consistent

Traci: I really think this quote is the key message from your Ped. Spend the time it takes to really get Sydney into a routine and once she's used to it and knows what to expect, then try something like Ferber or Weissbluth. Give it at least a month before you try sleep training. I personally am not opposed to CIO but I wouldn't dream of trying it on Nathan until he's at least 6 months old. He's three months now and we are just settling into a routine. I am hoping that by 6 months, he'll be so used to the bedtime drill that we do not have to CIO. Our normal routine starts around 6 PM with his last feeding. He gets a bath, a massage, and a bedtime story before he's held to sleep and then put down in his crib. He's usually down at 7 and will sleep for 6-7 hours now before waking up for a feeding. We have broken this on occasion because of dinner plans w/ out of town friends, hockey games, etc. but we do it with the full knowledge that he will be messed up for a few days and we just prepare ourselves to deal with it and get him back into the groove as soon as we can.

I'm very uncomfortable with your ped's advice to Ferberize before figuring out what could be going with Sydney's tummy and I'm really feeling that the Doc is taking the easy way out.

That said, it's still your choice and I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do.

Raquel
Nathan's Mom 12/19/03

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

Hope,
It is DR Nechyba with Carolina Kids...he is across from Rex, they have office hours on sundays, you never get a phone tree, and he is wonderful...
There are several in the practice but one I would avoid and I'll just call him Dr T...Tristan's belly stump fell off in his hands at two weeks and he thru it away, there were so many other things this man did that I just didn't like. His attitude was AWFUL!!!!
BUT Dr Nechyba is wonderful and came highly recommended to me by a Dr's wife, which is how I found him!!!!


Neve
http://home.nc.rr.com/ourbabytristan
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[Momof3Labs]

Imperia, child neglect and abuse are strong allegations; IMO they really don't belong on this board. Yes, you have a right to your opinion, but there are ways to express it while still being respectful of the choices of others on this board.

[kijip]

There is a big difference between cry-it-out and just putting your baby to bed earlier. Dr. Ferber himself says that his tools are for older babies with bad sleep habits and problems and not for getting young babies to sleep through the night. He says that 6-8 months is a age when he will consider babies to need help if they can't sleep on their own. I disagree with the previous post that put Ferber tantamount to child abuse. Ferber's plan has the parents reassuring and soothing the baby while breaking the breast/cuddle/bottle etc to sleep crutch. Once teeth appear, nursing or bottle feeding to sleep is discouraged by the AAP due to the risk of nursing caries. So a dentist might call nursing an older baby to sleep child abuse since you could be damaging the babies teeth which leads to pain and can cause other health problems later on. Even floating the term child abuse around lightly in regards to sleep issues is mean spirited in my opinion.

Good luck with what you decide to do, Traci.

[Momof3Labs]

I also agree with Rachel!

[papal]

Traci!!! I asked in your previous post but it may have got lost in the tree.... does Sydney have reflux? I ask because you had mentioned Zantac in your previous post . It would explain why she only sleeps in the swing.. the horizontal position is probably uncomfortable for her. Please let us know if she has reflux!

[Imperia]

Okay, I will edit that portion. I wasn't accusing anyone here, I have never read a post where someone let their child cry until they vomited (and possibly choked) I was speaking in general terms. I have, read about it in otehr places and it does happen to some children left to cry. I did not say that CIO itself was neglect or abusive.

[Imperia]

I did not say Ferberizing itself was child abuse...I said letting your child cry until they vomit is neglect and possibly abusive. I have removed that portion of my previous comment because I don't want people to take it the wrong way.

[TraciG]

she does have reflux we think, well now i'm not starting tonight since my husband will be home late, kind of relieved !

[pritchettzoo]

If she has reflux letting her cry will make it worse. Get a referral to a GI specialist if your ped isn't doing anything for her, or you should try a different ped. Let her sleep in her swing for as long as she needs to.

You *do* have a choice. There have been countless suggestions made here. If you don't want to try any of them and you want to try Ferber, then that is your choice.

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[Rachels]

It's just terribly unfair to her to not respond to her cries if she has reflux. I'm so angry that your ped would suggest something so inhumane. Reflux babies hurt when they lie down. How well would you sleep if you were in pain? And what if the one person who could soothe and comfort you chose to punish you instead for something beyond your control? Between the schedule you've kept and a very real health concern that hasn't been appropriately addressed, of COURSE she has trouble sleeping. Making her cry will increase her pain and isn't going to help her sleep. Please don't do it.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[jbowman]

I agree with Rachel. I would also suggest asking the doctor if a medicine besides Zantac might work better?! Just a suggestion--my daughter has acid reflux and we give her Prevacid. Good luck!

[MartiesMom2B]

Dr. N recommended us to do Ferber when she was 9 months old. Personally for us Ferbering makes her angrier and Dr. N said that if the methods are going to do that than stop. It turns out that all of her night waking was actually do to teething rather than sleep problems b/c she's right back at sleeping through the night without any training going on.

As for a set bedtime, I don't agree with that. When Martie was going to sleep at 7:00 she'd wake up at 5:00 and that is considered a full nights sleep b/c it's been over 8 hours. I'm happy with Martie going to bed b/n 8:00 - 9:30 and sleeping until 9:00 in the morning, sometimes 10:00.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[stillplayswithbarbies]

>I am DREADIMG tonight but I am going to do this ,I have no
>other choice,

Of course you have a choice, YOU are the mother. The choice is your's. If you are dreading it, if you don't think it is a good idea then don't do it.

If she is in pain from reflux, why would you want to just let her cry without comforting her and helping her to get into a position that hurts her less.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Mia31]

What about getting your baby on a schedule? This was my trick to get her to sleep 8 hours a night...with the schedule she had regular naps which helped her sleep better at night....sleep helps sleep! I cant do CIO as well...

[papal]

Traci, reflux is a HUGE deal with babies. Imagine how much pain you would be in if the acid from your stomach kept coming back up? This is what happens when a baby lies down horizontally on her back. No wonder why she is sleeping better in a swing.
In my opinion, you seriously need to reconsider the ped you are seeing.
- He has not taken her reflux seriously.... he should have at least told you about elevating her so she sleeps
- He is suggesting CIO for a baby that is not even 6 months old
- He is opposed to co-sleeping
- He suggested starting solids at 4 months.

Please Traci, do not try the Ferber method with her. She is in pain because of reflux. She is not being stubborn and not wanting to sleep.. she probably cannot sleep. And please ask around for another pediatrician. A ped should never TELL you what to do, he can offer suggestions but both you and him have to come up with a plan that works together.
I am just feeling really sad for your baby because Leela has reflux too and pre-Zantac the poor thing used to be in so much pain.

[sirensrise]

i dont think there is anything wrong with CIO whatsoever. if your baby is tired from lack of sleeping, not doing anything to make it better is child abuse, cry it out is not. there is a reason they choose sleep deprivation as a form of torture. one or two even a week of crying is not going to be as bad as constant sleep deprivation, come to think of it, nothing is.
that being said, i choosed not to do it. i dont think i can take the crying. there are other ways. esp. with reflux. we did baby whispering and it did wonders. have you tried anything else? a set bed time routine is a great help.

[nitaghei]

Traci,

Here's my take on your situation, FWIW.

Keep in mind that I also have a child that has not slept well since he was 4 months old, and yes, as a last resort, we went to CIO 3 nights ago (which is why I haven't been posting here). I have had exactly one night until this week, since DS was born, when I've slept for 6 hours at a stretch. For the last 8 months, I have slept for 2 hours on an average night, and 4 hours on a good night. I also work full time - so I've had to get into the office and be productive. So I totally empathize with the sleep deprivation.

BUT - and a VERY BIG BUT (and yes, I am shouting!)

Ferber or CIO is NOT acceptable for a baby Sydney's age and with her health problems. Both Ferber and Weisbluth consider 6 months the minimum age for sleep training, and only if your baby is healthy. Even Weissbluth is quite clear that a parent must respond to a child who is ill, in pain or just uncomfortable. Your ped has consistently given you bad advice, and you need to find a better ped.

Here's our story. Neel started daycare at 4 months, and started reverse cycling at that time. He also started teething, and then got ear infections. I would be up with him a minimum of 4 times a night. We've always been consistent with his nap and bed-time routines. But, he was in pain, and he would wake up. At his nine month check-up, his ped also suggested Ferber (and note that it was only a suggestion), with the caveat that we should only try it once he was healthy. Well, he wasn't, and I wasn't comfortable with the idea of Ferber anyway, so we didn't. DS had ear tubes put in in January, and has been healthy since then.

But, guess what, he was still waking up 4- 6 times most nights. I was exhausted, and in serious pain from continuous migraines. We first tried going back to co-sleeping. No change, except that DH decided he was better off sleeping in another room. Next we tried the Dr. Gordon approach for 3 weeks. No luck. We then went to Ferber for about 2 and half weeks. Nothing. Just lots of crying, and even less sleep for both of us.

Finally, this Monday night we instituted CIO. But DS is 14, almost 15, months old - much, much older than Sydney. The ground rules I felt I could handle were 1) I would nurse him when he woke up between 11 pm and midnight; 2) he was to CIO between 12 midnight and 6 am; and 3) 30 minutes was the maximum I would let him cry. I went into his room, and held him, and told him that we both needed to sleep and we would play in the morning. I then nursed/rocked him to sleep. When he woke up the first time, he cried for 26 minutes; the second time for 9 minutes. Last night, he woke up once, fussed for 2 minutes and went back to sleep. Each night he has woken up betwen 11 pm and midnight to nurse. We are both comfortable with that, because I think that 11-12 hours is too long for anyone to go without food or drink.

Sitting there and hearing him cry the first night was one the hardest things I've ever done. There is NO WAY I would EVER do this if I knew he was in pain. CIO was totally the last resort for us. I still hate doing it, it's totally against my whole parenting philosophy, but at least I have the reassurance that we tried everything else. DS has been on a consistent nap and bedtime schedule and routine for months. We have not gone out a single evening in the last three months - just to ensure that his bedtime routine is consistent. Even at his age, if DS is sick or teething, I will not let him cry by himself. Heck, I wouldn't ignore an adult who is ill or in pain - why would I it to a baby?

These are what I consider to be essential preconditions to trying Ferber or CIO:

1) a healthy baby. If Sydney has reflux, leaving her to cry accomplishes nothing. Crying only increases her discomfort. She is in pain, and she's entitled to be taken care of.

2) consistent daytime routine, including meals and naps. I don't mean a rigid, to the minute schedule, but a predictable routine that she's comfortable in.

3) consistent nap times. See above

4) consistent bed time and routine. Same order of events - bath, massage, rocking, singing, nursing, whatever.

5) appropriate age. Based on my experience, I would not try Ferber or CIO on a baby less than 1 year old.

To be brutally honest, you don't have any of these pre-conditions right now. And until you do, not only will Ferberizing not work, you'll needlessly be making both Sydney and yourself miserable.

I'm sorry if I hurt you, but you need to get your act together - for Sydney's sake and your own.

Nita
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[amp]

Traci - I agree w/ everyone else's recommendations.

SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE, SCHEDULE!
CONSISTENCY, CONSISTENTCY, CONSISTENCY!

And yes, I am saying this forcefully! You HAVE to develop a routine and a schedule that Sydney can depend on if you want her to learn to put herself to sleep. I don't know how you can expect her to learn to do this if you don't keep a consistent bedtime routine. It's not fair to her to expect her to learn to soothe herself to sleep if there is no soothing and predictable routine for her to rely on!

I am concerned that people have been telling you this over and over and over again and you don't seem to be taking it to heart. You seem to keep looking for another answer or response than what people are telling you. And yet you keep returning with the same questions without having tried their advice. That is frustrating for the people who are watching you struggle with this issue and trying to help.

Please, please, for Sydney's sake, as well as your own, start a consistent bedtime routine she can count on. Try it for a month. See if it helps before leaving her to cry in her bed. PLEASE!

[kransden]

I had a horrible sleeper with reflux. I, unlike a lot of people, actually have read the entire Ferber book. It is really good for some people. (I have also read the Pantly book) I seriously doubt the CIO method will work for you. When you are screaming because of stomach acid, being left in your crib to deal with it alone will just upset you more. That said, we did follow the part about a consistant bed time routine. Pantly also suggests that. I must say, it works like a charm. It only took us about two weeks. We start for bed at 7:30, take a bath, play etc. and get a bottle. DD now goes to sleep every night within 15 minutes of 8:30. We elevated her head area so she wouldn't have reflux so bad at night. She still woke up quite a bit, but we could count on her sleeping at least until 11:00 before she woke up again. I often go to sleep when she does. If your baby has reflux, you have a very hard row to hoe. It will get better, just not as soon as you would wish. Hang in there!


Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[sadie427]

For what it's worth--we did "ferberize" Sammy at around 4 1/2 months, at the recommendation of his doctor. BUT (and this is a big but) the situation was pretty different. Sammy clearly could self-soothe, and had been able to get himself to sleep on his own a few times at around 3 months. He also had a few weeks of only 2 wakings during the night. Then my husband started rocking him to sleep, and Sammy started waking up every 1 1/2 hours all night. I let this go for almost a month, nursing him every time, so I was pretty sure that he wasn't teething or sick (he also kept his normal nursing schedule during the day.) So we did do the Ferber method, and I was glad we did. It took 3 nights--each time we checked him and talked to him every 5, then 10, then 15 minutes. First night an hour total, second night 1/2 hour, third night 10 minutes. Now at 7 months he falls asleep easily on his own (at around 8pm, after a consistent bedtime routine), only wakes once or twice to eat at night, and has two pretty consistent 1 to 2 hour naps (and sometimes a third) every day. (Note that using this method does not mean that you let them cry every time they wake up--I still feed him at night, because I think his night wakings now are clearly from hunger, or getting cold, or another problem and not due to habit as they were before.) I'm only telling this story because I think the method is getting a bit of a bad rap here, and I want other people to know that it did work great for us. I don't think this really applies to Sydney.

But Traci, I DO NOT think that you should do it. I agree with others-I've been following your posts and I think Sydney needs a fuller medical workup. It sounds like it may be reflux, or something else--I think this may be more than just fussiness. Also, she needs to be older, or at least show some capacity to self-soothe before Ferber will work. It will just end up stressing you both out.

My pediatrician did also recommend the Ferber method--but all of her other advice has been very up to date, and I didn't do it just because she said so, but because I read up on the various options and decided this was the best one for us to try.

[christic]

Traci,

I haven't been following all of your posts completely so I'm sorry if I'm saying something you've already heard but...

While I agree with everyone that following Ferber at this point is not a great idea, I just get the feeling that you're desperate to try something new. That just continuing as you have been will be just as hard on you both as the Ferber would.

So, I read in one of your posts that you liked the Baby Whisperer and I just wanted to suggest trying something from her book that really helped me. I know it might sound silly but have you tried keeping the journal entries for your daughter's days--tracking her feedings (when, how long, etc), her sleep (where, how long it took her to settle, etc.), and other activities (diaper changes, time in the swing, etc). First I think it will help you to have something concrete to do--even if it's not Ferber, and second I think you might really start to see some interesting patterns. Eventually this will give you some excellent information to go over with your pediatrician--if say you discover she can seldom fall asleep laying flat or right after eating. And I think it will also help you be consistent since you'll have a record of what worked and didn't work.

We had sort of a bad start to bf'ing, and keeping the journal was what got us back on track. It also helped immensely figuring out what my daughter's natural schedule was so that I could use that info to plan are days better. And you'll have written proof to show those ILs that your daughter needs to be home and in bed by X o'clock! :)

Good luck!

[Vajrastorm]

I had fairly bad reflux while pregnant. I, as a grown woman, was frequently in tears because of it. Reflux is painful, and it is frustrating to live in pain. How much harder for a helpless baby?

[lynettefrancois]

>she does have reflux we think, well now i'm not starting
>tonight since my husband will be home late, kind of relieved
>!


Traci! I'm having the same sleep issues and my baby has reflux too. We have also had thrush for 2 months and finally saw a NEW pediatrician today. What a difference! Please try a new ped... it won't hurt, right? I would make darn sure she's not sick (I made this mistake last week- let her CIO twice then discovered the stuffy nose). Her sleep problems started when she got a virus a few weeks ago, but she's been sleeping a little better since we started the Routine (bath at about 6, eating about 6:30, playing for about 10 minutes, then rocking for a few minutes with paci, put in crib half-asleep). Also, I stopped at the bookstore and read that babies with reflux have a harder time self soothing, so it may just simply take our babies longer to learn. I had it while pregnant and it's nearly IMPOSSIBLE to fall asleep- it really hurts! I've decided to go the gradual route for sleep training (it's described in the Weissbluth book, and several others), and I would rather get (make) DH to help soothe her at night so I'm not exhausted, than take a chance that she's sick or in pain and us not helping. She's probably going to start teething soon too (she's drooling a LOT more lately), so I took that into consideration. I bought 2 more sleep books and decided that I would combine info from all 3 that I have to decide on our specific plan. And, it gives me backup to show DH that he needs to help at night so I can get at least one stretch of 5 hours of sleep. HTH! Email me directly if you want to talk!

[marinkitty]

Traci:

I've been reading your posts over the past few weeks and have not posted back till now, mainly because I think you have been given excellent advice by other posters and did not feel I had much to add.

But I will chime in now to say that my DD had very severe reflux starting at 3 months (likely earlier but it was what they call "silent" reflux because she rarely threw up) through about 6 months (when we finally got the Zantac dosage correct) and she also turned out to have a milk protein sensitivity to the dairy products in my breastmilk that was making her tummy hurt even more (and increasing the reflux). Just some background.

Both my pediatrician and the GI specialist we saw expressly told me that we were NOT to leave her to cry under ANY circumstance (recognizaing of course that sometimes babies cry despite all your efforts to soothe them) until the reflux situation was under control. Not only will it increase the pain, it will increase the number times the stomach acid refluxes which can cause significant damage. Finally, it is very likely that she will throw up from the repeated refluxing caused by prolonged crying, and she certainly will not fall asleep laying in vomit.

We did end up using a combination of the Weissbluth/Ferber method when DD was about 7 months old - after the dairy and reflux issues were under control, after she'd started to show some ability to self soothe, and after we had followed a very consistent schedule (which included a 6 pm bedtime that worked wonders on her overall sleep habits and continues now even at one year old). So I'm not at all saying it is never appropriate - but as all the others have stated I do not think it is appropriate for your DD at this time.

In addition to seeing a different pediatrician (because I do believe his advice is inconsistent with a reflux diagnosis and her age), please consider going to a GI specialist. A GI specialist will have other medications and other ideas that will help your DD if the Zantac is not doing the trick.

Good luck and hang in there. I know it is draining and tough, especially if you are not getting much support from your family, but you will have to address these things one at a time before she can sleep through the night and you can both be happier.

Edited to fix typo.

Holly
Mom to Mia (3.17.03)

[jerseygirl07067]

I have no experience with the Ferber method but think the other posters have given really good advice. I just wanted to add, that whatever you decide to do, you can't just expect Sydney to go to sleep at 7 or 8 if she is used to going to bed later. You probably will have to GRADUALLY move her bedtime earlier each nite, by 15-30 minutes or so. And definitely give the routine a longer time, at least a few more weeks, to see if it works. The routine helps to create a relaxing and comforting sleep association.

Marcy

[lizajane]

i used CIO and thought i NEVER would. so i am not going to comment on it here because i didn't have a reflux baby and i did have a consistant routine and early bedtime. so our situations are just too different.

but i would BEG you to read weisbluth's healthy sleep habits happy child. ignore the sleep training part for now. just read it for the facts.

then read hogg's secrets of the baby whisperer AND pantley's no cry sleep solution.

then you will have all the information of several different methods. then you WILL HAVE A CHOICE.

[leanng]

My son had bad acid reflux and we didn't get his stomach problems fixed until he was 7 1/2 months old. Until then, he was still waking up every hour and a half to bf. I initially rejected the Ferber approach as cruel but then, after nothing else worked, I actually read the book and very much changed my mind. Any and all concerns I had were dealt with and explained in the book so I definitely suggest reading it. For my son, once his reflux issues were dealt with, I had to work on his habit of night nursing. He was only sucking for a minute or two (which he used to do to bring down the acid levels) so we knew it was not necessity but habit. Ferber recommends gradually decreasing the amount of time (or amount of liquid if by bottle) gradually. We had a few nights of multiple hour crying but I knew that my son (and mommy too) NEEDED and deserved sleep!!! After a night and a half or crying, we both slept well. He still has an occasional night where he wakes up and just needs comforted or a drink which is alright but overall, we have helped him learn to self-soothe. My favorite Ferber comparison is a child being rocked to sleep or falling asleep on the breast to that of an adult who needs their pillow. When you wake up and it's not there any longer (and we all do wake up multiple times during the night), we are upset. Of course, the idea of self-soothing is exactly why Ferber isn't recommended until the child is old enough to 'learn' that mommy/daddy still love them and will take care of their needs but that they have to sleep. Read the book...there's a reason he works.

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
LeAnn
Mom to Alex 11/12/02

[alexandria1981]

Hi, I'm new to the message boards but I just wanted to pass on some info from my PED about reflux. My DD was having lots of gas pain, waking up screaming at night etc. Also lots of morning congestion. PED recommended that I cut out all dairy and have DD sleep on incline. After 4 days, it worked like a charm...sleeping longer stretches at night,no congestion and waking up happy. I made a nest on the floor of our room (because we had been doing co-sleeping) with a large comforter folded up, a boppy and a blanket tucked around the whole thing so there was nothing she could get caught in. 3 months later she still sleeps in her "nest" for most of the night. I didn't read if you BF or not but my PED said that reflux with a BF baby was not dangerous and didn't need any med. unless the incline/diet change didn't help at all. I hope this helps!