Need encouragement re: bottle refusing/balking

[lmintzer]

I have now been back to work for 2 weeks, and it's been very stressful. I thought the stress would come from having to pump at work and worrying about having enough milk. But now--the refrigerator runneth over with breast milk (I think I counted 20 oz. in there right now and I have about 60 in the freezer). Little Joshua has been balking at his bottles if not outright refusing them. The worst was this past Thursday. He drank only 1/2 oz. until 3:30 p.m. And he cried for hours. My poor nanny tried her best to soothe him, feed him, put him to sleep. He wound up sleeping some and crying some but just wouldn't eat until she took the kids out to the park after Jack's nap. He finally sucked down 3 1/2 oz. more at that point and was content.

My heart is breaking when I'm at work hearing this. I know he won't literally starve. He nurses plenty when I come home and through the night. I talked to a LC, and she pointed out that some 4 month olds sleep through the night--up to 12 hours at a time--so there is no way anything could happen to him if he doesn't eat for 8 to 10 hours. This literally didn't even dawn on me, since my kids are such horrible sleepers.

Friday, he did a little better--drank two 4 oz. bottles without much crying.

But now, I haven't been to work since Fri., and he may be back to square one again tomorrow (Tues.).

I'm hoping to hear some success stories--did anyone have a bottle refuser who came through it and started drinking them comfortably?

[westchicagomom]

Lisa, I not going to be much help on this, because we just started trying to wean her a few weeks ago, but here's my experience...

The first few days were extremely frustrating in getting her to take the bottle w/EBM. (We gave her a bottle a week from about 6 weeks on - apparently that wasn't enough and I am kicking myself for not giving them more often.) She was just chewing on the nipple and crying a lot. We switched bottles (from Avent and Evenflo Elite) based on someone's advice here to Dr.Brown's w/ a smaller nipple. That wasn't immediately to her liking, but after a few more days she took the bottle, holding it herself to drink (she prefers that to us holding it). We still have a long way to go and I still think she sees it as a toy, but we are making progress. DD is quite the stubborn one so if she gave in I am sure Joshua will too!

Others w/ more experience may disagree, but IMO it might be better for continuity if you bottlefeed during the day on the weekends too at least until he adjusts.

Hang in there!

[hez]

We knew we had bottle issues the week before I returned to work-- tried a couple half days at the sitter's, and DS took just one ounce in four hours... I was a wreck worrying about it.

So, that weekend before I started back I determined we'd do bottle-only days (during the day). For 3 days (I started back on a Tuesday) for 10 hours I offered the bottle exclusively. By Monday he was taking at least 9 ounces in those 10 hours. He took about 9 ounces the first full day at the sitter's, and has increased to at least 15 ounces a day, sometimes as much as 18. It probably took 2-3 weeks before he really got in a rhythm for feeding (and even longer for his naps!).

Patience was very, very key. It DID get better-- he now gets excited when he sees the bottle!

[jerseygirl07067]

We are having a similar issue. I just started work yesterday (full time, but working 3-4 of the days from home) DD definitely prefers the breast to the bottle. She will drink a 4 oz bottle but it takes my mom about an hour or more to get her to finish it. And quite honestly, I think a lot of it winds up on her clothes too. She had that sour milk smell all over her when I got home yesterday. I know from me she probably drinks at least 5-6 oz easy each feeding in 10 mins.

Just to add a gripe, I busted my butt yesterday morning and pumped right after I fed DD, so she would at least have half fresh, and half frozen. My wonderful mom proceeded to totally waste the two fresh bottles by having DD take an ounce from each, then just left them out on the counter all day. I had to kindly re-explain (for the umpteenth time) about which bottles to give first, how to store, etc. Plus explain that the darn stuff is a precious thing to waste! She just doesn't get the whole BF thing. I was getting weird looks yesterday when I was packing up my pump to go to work....And more solid food comments. Grrrr.

Sigh.....at least having her watch DD is free...And I do appreciate that.

Marcy

[nitaghei]

Lisa,

Here's the success story you asked for! :)

DS went on a bottle strike when he first started daycare when he was 4 months old. He would only drink 1 or 2 oz during the day - at most. I did go in to nurse him once a day. It took about a month before he started taking the bottle again. It's feels terrible - even more so when you have to dump the 6 oz bottle that he drank 1/2 oz from. But his caregiver kept trying and in about 4 weeks he was back to drinking the same amount from the bottle that he was previously. BTW, DS did reverse cycle - and kept gaining weight steadily.

So, try not to worry - too much! Just keep offering the bottle consistently. You seem to have a wonderful nanny. And the fact that he did drink 2 4 oz bottles is really encouraging - you might be turning the corner on the bottle strike.

Email me off the boards if you like - your story about your struggle with BF'g and your determination really helped me to persist in overcoming DS's nipple confusion - and I'd love to return the favor!

Nita
mom to Neel, January 2003
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[slknight]

Yes, I've got a success story for you too. Alex started daycare part-time when he was 5 1/2 months. He refused any bottles the first few days. He gradually worked up to where he would take one if he was really hungry, but only from one person there. If she was out, he refused. He eventually got over that too (good thing because she left)! Now he'll take a bottle from anyone there.

I'm sorry this is so stressful for you. I'm hoping today goes better for everyone.

[713abc]

Another success story...my DS began refusing his one bottle a day at about 7 weeks. It was very hard on me and DH too, as he was the one who kept trying to get him to take the bottle to no avail.

Eventually we stopped trying even though it was really hard on me to be there for every single feeding. I just managed it and enjoyed our time together until I went back to work when he was 12 weeks old. I was very nervous about what would happen when he went to day care, but it was a dream come true.

Somehow they got him to take the bottle - not sure exactly what it was, but he didn't even cry or fuss much at all! That was on a Wednesday, and over the weekend we tried unsuccessfully to give him a bottle ourselves. Then on Tuesday I went to the daycare to see if he'd take a bottle from me after a few more days of practice, and I almost fell out of the rocker - because he just took it with no problem. That evening I gave him another bottle and from then on he didn't have an issue.

I decided, though, that once he took a bottle I would stop nursing (he was a very difficult nurser too, would only drink from my right side!). I guess I could have consulted a LC but decided to just pump after that so that he would still have my milk, but I wouldn't have to worry about nursing issues anymore or about him refusing the bottle again - it had all been kind of traumatic for me. I pumped until he was 5 months, starting with 5 times a day and gradually decreasing and adding formula as needed.

Anyway, he wasn't very good at the bottle thing at first, eating very little at a time, and choking a bit here and there. He was easily distracted and if that bottle came out of his mouth it was likely not going back in for a while. And he was VERY picky about who he would let feed him. But, now he is a pro (though still easily distracted).

Hope this helps!

Also - we found the Playtex nurser bottle to be the best for him, but then switched him to Avent once he had the hang of it.

Mom to Max, 05/28/03

[murpheyblue]

DD refused a bottle up until the day before I returned to work and I was a disaster, completely convicned she would starve and worried that DH who was taking over full-time child care would quit after one day.

We switched from Avent to Dr. Brown's bottles, warmed the nipple and experimented with different positions. Walking with her sitting, facing out was the one that worked early on. Now she drinks EBM like a pro from a bottle every day while I work. Also, we're able to utilize other bottles brands now.

It can be soooo frustrating but hang in there. One day, they just get it.

Ali
Mom to Megan 9-28-03

[HallsofVA]

I'm so happy to hear that others are having/have had the same issue that we're having, and have worked through it. We introduced bottles to my son when he was three weeks old, and I had to start pumping one side because of nipple damage. We had no problems at the time getting him to take the bottle, and he switched back and forth with out any problems. When I healed after two weeks, two separate LC's told me to lay off the bottles and pumping so I wouldn't damage my milk supply. So we held off on the bottles for a couple of weeks. Last week, we began practicing for my return to work on the 12th. It became a battle to get any EBM into him via a bottle, and both he and my husband ending up frustrated and covered in EBM! Still my LC said at the most offer only 1 bottle a day, though in reality he'll need to take several bottles three days a week.

We've held off on bottles this week because DS has an ear infection and cold (hopefully not caused by last week's bottle feedings, but who knows). Meanwhile, I've purchased some different bottles and nipples to try, since he's been turning away from the Avent bottles. This includes an angled nurser, so he can be more upright. Hopefully things will go better. If not, I'm comforted by the fact that he weighs 14lb, 10oz at 11 weeks, and was at the 95th percentile on weight, so he can probably afford to miss a feeding or two!