Do hunger cues change over time? What cues do you look for?

[quikeye]

Hi all, I have been BF'ing on demand since baby was born (10 weeks), and the past week has been super difficult with him. I think it may have to do with me misreading his hunger cues, or something to do with feeding/hunger. We don't schedule his feeds, but they come about every 3 hours or so now, with the 1st few morning ones spaced about an hour apart (while we're still in bed, we co-sleep & stay in bed sometimes til 10-11am nursing & falling back asleep). He also nurses @ night, maybe once or twice, and falls right back to sleep afterwards.

Our problem is during the day, where baby has taken to screaming and kicking and flailing sooo much as I offer the breast. He doesn't do this at night or when he's waking up from our night sleep... I offer the breast (pulling him in towards me) when his cues tell me he's hungry (or, they used to tell me)-- he did his "boobieface" (licking lips), tried to eat his hands, etc. But when I follw these cues, which were right before, he cries... And it's one of those terrible screeching cries, like I worry I'm hurting him cries. I also think he's hungry based on the timing of his face-making and fussiness, this usually happens about 2 hours or more after eating.

We haven't changed anything here-- I've been using the boppy less, and have been trying to nurse in different places in the house, but we've been working on these changes for more than this week, when he's been such a screamer. I also haven't changed anything in my diet, and generally don't eat too many spicy things anyways (still trying to forget spicy foods + morning sickness!)...

My question is, do baby's hunger cues change? Am I "reading" him wrong when he licks his lips/eats his hands/drools? What other hunger cues can I look for, besides crying (I don't like to let it get that far). I know now is the time when he's discovering his hands, so I don't really use that one alone to try & understand if he's hungry... It's just so heartbreaking to be screamed at by a baby who used to just love to comfort-nurse (which he refuses to do now as well...) My fear is that I'm reading him correctly and he is hungry, but for some reason doesn't want to eat, or doesn't want to eat from me :( We have tried bottle-feeding him, but he's barely taken one or 2 whole bottles and generally fights them as well as pacifiers, so I don't think it could be nipple confusion.

I feel terrible forcing him on the breast, but on occasion it will work after several minutes of him crying & fighting me-- he'll sigh and latch on to the nipple that was in his (crying) open mouth. (I hold him to me as he cries, with my breast out and him punchine at me). It makes me think again he is hungry, but either doesn't want to latch on or doesn't want to be so close to me :(

I don't know if his "punches" and kicks are real (does he really not want the breast?)...

Any advice would be great :)

[ericajosh]

It was around this time in DS life when I had the same issues. I used to go totally based on cues (sucking hand, etc.) However, I started to find it confusing...were these really his cues for eating or was he just exploring, teething, etc.

I asked my ped. how I was supposed to know if he was hungry, cause I was trying to follow feeding cues. He told me that it is too hard to follow those cues at this point and I should wait until he's really hungry (crying or fussy) to feed him. Otherwise, he wouldn't eat well, because he wouldn't really be hungry. I have found these words true even today. If I try to feed him too early, he doesn't eat as well as when he gets hungry and fussy. He might eat for a minute or two, but that's it. If I wait, he eats well and stays full.

Also, this is the time that DS started to naw on his hand and suck on anything (teething, exploration?), so I found it easier to wait until he was really hungry (I followed the clock a bit and cries help to make the point too :)) Perhaps try a teething toy or something to soothe his gums?

My gut tells me he might be tired. Every two hours at this age might mean he needs quiet time or naps. Try reading "Health Sleep Habits" by Weissbluth. This is the time when naps start to form on schedule. He might be fussy because he needs to go down for a nap. DS would cry and wouldn't eat and one day I gave him a pacifier while he was on the floor and he passed out for an hour. (That was a light bulb moment).

I'm not one for forcing a baby to eat if they're hysterical and fighting me. Others might have different opinions, but in my experience, if he's hungry, he'll eat. I would explore other things first..diaper change, teething toy, nap, before feeding. Then you know he's hungry. (BTW-DS eats like a champ at night too...they are just more focused at night, I guess)

Once you relax about the feedings, he will too. If you are tense when you are feeding him, he'll know. (Maybe he is hungry earlier? 3 hrs is quite a stretch? Maybe he needs a longer stretch? It's a guessing game at this point. Each baby is different.)

These are all ideas. You really have to play around with each and see how it works. I would definitely try the naps though...they work miracles.
Good luck. Keep us updated.
-Erica :)

[drsweetie]

It's so hard to tell what's going on with them, isn't it? As we often say in our house, "These babies is complimicated." Anyway, I know we went through a stretch where I thought Laura was hungry but she was actually tired, and I was misreading her cues as "Feed me" instead of "Naptime". We discovered that if she fussed 2 hours after her last meal, it was naptime, but if it had been 3 hours since her last meal, it was mealtime. What happens if you don't try feeding your son at these times? Will he continue to fuss or will he go to sleep? I'm definitely not suggesting that you withhold food if he's truly hungry, but if he's not hungry, then trying to feed him won't help.

Also, could he possibly have an ear infection? One of Laura's first signs of an ear infection is squirming and fussiness while nursing.

[firstbaby]

Our babies were born within two weeks of each other and I also recently had to re-evaluate my DS's "hunger cues" - he used to root or suck on his hands all of the time to indicate hunger and now he doesn't root. Combine that with him also exploring his hands even when he's not hungry and it's quite confusing!

Couple of thoughts - I agree with trying naptime. Our cycle is feed, play, sleep - the 45 or 90 minutes before the next feeding my DS is ready for a nap! Like yourself, we also are going about 3 hours between feedings. The second thought would be if there are any other signs of reflux? I think I had read somewhere that a classic sign of reflux can be fussiness during or after a feeding. I am not that knowledgable about reflux so I could be totally wrong but I think I read it somewhere.

[miki]

When my kid was very, very young (maybe the first 2-3 months), I could count on seeing rooting or some other mouth movement to let me know she was hungry. But now, I really don't see anything like that any longer. When she's really, really hunger, she will start to fuss and cry. But I find that if I offer her the breast after each nap and every 2-2.5 hours when she's awake, she will still eat quite a bit even though I see no outward signs of hunger. I guess she's a bit like her parents--we can always eat.

[HallsofVA]

My son's about a week and a half ahead of yours, and I understand what you're going through. Someone's already mentioned the possibility of an ear infection, and that was going to be my suggestion as well.

Early on, my son had very obvious hunger cues, that usually involved rooting. However, he also was a very frequent eater, nursing every hour or so during the day and every 2-4 hours at night. At 6 weeks, my ped and LC both said we needed to start stretching him out, and slowly we got up to every 1 1/2 hours, then every 2 hours, and finally between 8 and 9 weeks we were consistent at every 3 hours. Then the fussing began. It got to where he'd start to nurse, and then start fussing and screaming. It was generally worse on one side than the other, but I knew it wasn't a milk supply issue because he did it more on my more plentiful side. I also read on kellymom that many babies become fussy breastfeeders between 6 and 8 weeks, and I just figured we were normal. When he came down with a cold that didn't go away after a week, I took him to the ped. who diagnosed a ear infection in his left ear. That explained while he fussed more when nursing on the right breast, because the nursing and laying on that side changed the pressure in the ear causing pain. Thankfully antibiotics have cleared it up, and he seems much happier. Something you may want to look at...

Also, my son has become a compulsive hand sucker, and will also suck anything put before him (my finger, the burp rag or cloth, toys, etc.) Sometimes he'll suck his hand after he's finished nursing on both breasts, so I've had to give up on using that as a hunger cue, and now treat it like the comfort measure that it is.