Really need some positive weaning vibes sent my way...

[mamicka]

I've decided to start weaning Lawrence. He's 9.5 months & has been EBF, never taking a bottle despite my attempts. I'm a SAHM & so the cuddles happen all day (& sometimes night) long. He's developed the habit of falling asleep for naps while nursing, although I've tried to stop it, its kind-of hard. He goes into his crib at night drowsy but still awake. We started solids at 6.5 months & at first he was really into it... for about 3 days. Now he pretty much hates everything, only taking about 2 babyspoonfuls each day. Lately we've had more success with homemade chicken soup... maybe 3-4 babyspoonfuls each day. He is capable of drinking out of both a sippy & a regular cup (water or EBM) but never a lot, maybe 1 oz tops, all day.
Anyway, I've decided to start weaning because its really taking a toll on me physically. Some of you may have read my other posts about having a freakishly large chest & I just can't take it anymore. I'm to the point where I just want to stop cold-turkey but I know that's a horrible way to go, so I won't. Its beginning to be painful... not just physically but emotionally. I look in the mirror & don't recognize that woman. It's hard for me to articulate how much this bothers me.
So I've started trying to replace his afternoon nursing with formula. I've tried it in a sippy & it a bottle & just a cup - NADA. He just ends-up crying & trying to get under my shirt. I feel so guilty about it I just end up sobbing along with him. I know that it doesn't help the situation but I can't help it. I feel so guilty that I'm forcing this on him when he's not ready but I feel like its a necessity. I want to do what's best for him but can't accept that what's best for him is me feeling so horrible. The worst part is I know that we want more children & I want to breastfeed them as well.

If you're still with me, I don't know that I'm really asking for anything. Just understanding, I guess.

Allison

[papal]

Oh Allison....so sorry you are going through this. It must be really painful to be so confused and conflicted over weaning. I know you or someone else mentioned it before.. but were you interested in getting the breast reduction surgery? Is this why you are thinking of weaning early? Will it be possible to bfeed your future children after this surgery? Sorry, i just wanted to know more about what you are thinking...if you don't feel like sharing, i fully understand. Or do you think your breasts will shrink after weaning? I know this happens for a lot of women.

I just hope you can make the right decision for you and Lawrence... he must be confused too.
I am sure someone will give you weaning tips here. Good luck mama!

[COElizabeth]

Allison,

I'm sorry! I haven't been in your shoes, but my sister is also quite large-chested, and she had discomfort from her lactating breasts being so darn heavy. I know with her second child she managed to find some much better-fitting bras, and that helped a lot, but it was still hard for her. Her first was weaned at 4 months, but her second refused the bottle until about 8.5 months, and my sister felt pretty desperate. She kept trying every once in a while, and eventually my niece accepted it and weaned pretty easily at 9 months.

I just weaned my son, and if you can, I definitely recommend doing it gradually. I think it would be extremely uncomfortable to wean abruptly. For a week or so I even nursed once every other day or every couple of days- for my comfort. I also found getting DH to put James to bed for a few nights helped ease the transition to not nursing before bed. Best wishes!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02
EDD #2, 10-30-04

[mamicka]

I'm really just hoping that they'll shrink a bit at this point. I definitely plan to have the surgery but I'm really conflicted as to when. Like I said, I'd love to nurse subsequent children at least for a while. I'm not sure I'd be willing to risk that if I have the surgery now.

Thanks for your support.

[jd11365]

How about cow's milk? My friend, who is a nurse, has a ped who told her that after 9 months it's okay. She started her daughter on milk at 9 months and she's a happy, healthy 20 month old. She nursed early am and before bed...during the day was whole milk.

HTH!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
5-1-03

[trumansmom]

Allison-

As another freakishly large-chested woman (but flat-chested compared to you!), I do truly understand. However, don't be horribly surprised if they don't go back to normal. I would hate for you to get your hopes up, wean, and still be huge. I basically went from a full H to a large G/small H after weaning DS. And frankly, they got really gross and droopy. On the upside, the pain in my back did get a lot better. But I'm not certain that that wasn't due to more supportive bras. Nursing bras suck in the larger sizes.

Anyway, please know I completely feel for you. You really do need to do what is best for you. Lawrence will be fine, and has already reaped the benefit of breastfeeding for 9 months!

Good luck,
Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01 and EDD 4/23/04!

[RiaHannam]

Hi Allison,

I am another "boobzilla" - I have no idea what size you are but I'm a 34F right now (nursing) but after DS was first born I was a 34H! I'm only 5'4" and sometimes I feel like one big walking boob. I want to say also that your breasts might not shrink much after weaning. With my first son I was a 34D before getting pg. After I weaned him (and the subsequent siblings - 2 of them)I never saw the 34D again! I was about a 34F then went down to a 34DD after I lost about 35 lbs and was back to my ideal weight. So basically I predict after I wean my current son that the smallest cup I'll see is a DD. Oh gosh and if they go smaller they'll probably be very droopy.

My son (10.5 mos) is EBF also... won't take any liquids via cup or bottle and he hates formula most of all! So perhaps trying cow's milk is a good idea but ask your Dr. first if that's okay. I know it's hard but just figure out a plan and stick with it. One day he'll decide the cup is just fine and fun. Don't feel so guilty wanting to wean - you've nursed far longer than a lot of mom's so deciding to wean now is okay, especially if it's slow going as then HE can decide when to call it quits.

Hang in there and I can understand how you are feeling. If my current son were not my last baby I'd probably be thinking about weaning also. But he's my last and I'm trying to *hang on to the baby thing* for as long as possible!!

Hugs!

[jbowman]

Hi Allison,

I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking about you and Lawrence. I hope that you both are doing well.

[mamicka]

Thanks Jill! & the others for your support as well. Things are going a little better. We've been able to ALMOST completely eliminate one feeding in the afternoon. So, I nurse when he wakes-up (unless he woke at night to eat a within a few hours of waking), late morning, eliminated the afternoon feeding, & then he cluster-feeds about an hour or 2 before bed. I offer him a sippy with formula that he has started to take - like 2 oz tops. We tried several kinds & he seemed to respond best to Enfamil Lipil Soy - except now that he's taking more of it he's spitting-up a lot a few hours later. So not sure what else to try there. He seems to be lactose intolerant because the milk-based formulas gave him a lot of gas. I'll be posting a question about just regular rice milk soon. At this point, I'm not going to push it. We're travelling this weekend for my sister's wedding & so I don't want to try anything different until after we get back.

I guess we're on the right track. Hopefully I'll get a little respite before we try for #2. :)

I really appreciate all the support - you gals are awesome!
Thanks!
Allison

[Kieransmom]

Allison-
I hope your spirits are higher today than on the day of your post. You're not alone. I too am a SAHM, nursing and have a large chest and have been battling depression because I just don't recognize myself anymore. I gained 40 lbs with this pregnancy and even though they say that nursing will help you lose weight I had the opposite problem.
I decided sunday to wean my son. (he's 11 mos) He too is dependent on nursing to nap but will go to bed at night awake. It's really tough. And it's even worse when you see your friends and they can't understand what you're going through because their children are "angels" and do everything you would want your child to do. My son is a high needs child so it's tough when I see my friends who have very laid back children breeze through everything. It seems so unfair. But I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Just keep in mind that he's not going to be this little forever and he may just grow out of it. Things that my son used to do that bothered me he gradually grew out of at each stage. You never know.
Anyway, keep your chin up! You're not alone!
Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

Just a bit of info....as I baby I was allergic to every formula out on the market (back in the very very early 70's) and the Ped told my mother to put me on cows milk. (at 4 mos)

My whole life I battled learning disabilities and my parents and I were told by many learning specialists that this may have to do with being given cows milk too early...it does not have the proper nutrients for a child's developing brain. I asked my son's Ped about this and she said that there have been recent studies on that. She said that she would not recommend cows milk until 12 months. Especially if you are from a family with tendencies towards food allergies.

I know it's not proven but I just want to be sure that my son is given formula/breast milk that is made for humans up until 12 months in case it is proven later on. I figure better safe than sorry. It was a hard road growing up! I don't want my son to go through what I did.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[Kieransmom]

I'm sorry....I mean cows milk only. Without supplementation of formulas/breast milk.

Michelle
Mommy to Kieran, born 5/9/03

[mamicka]

Thanks Michelle. I'm just glad that I'm not the only one. It helps to know that I'm not crazy.

Allison

[llcoddington]

Allison, I just read your post and want to say I hope things are going better. I can't say that I understand- I have always wished for a larger chest. :) But, I do understand wanting to stop because of physical and emotional reasons.

Lana
mommy to Lauren 12/5/03

[jbowman]

I'm glad to hear that things are going better!