Don't know what to do. I feel like I've really messed up!

[McQ]

This whole milk thing has really thrown me for a loop and now I'm even questioning how I give him his fluids. I checked Declan's bottom last night and sure enough, he's got the bulls-eye. So I pulled out all those books and started reading about milk and found out that I shouldn't be giving Declan his milk in his bottle. And that I shouldn't be giving him a bottle before nap/bed. So it's like a triple whammy and I'm afraid all this change is going to rock my little guy's world.

I haven't decided if I'm gong to try to change the schedule first (switching back to formula for a while) or if I'll switch to lactose free milk and work on the schedule later. The second option poses problems because the book said not to put milk in a bottle.

Right now Declan's schedule goes like this:

6:30am wake up/bottle
8:30am breakfast
10:30am bottle/nap
12:30pm lunch
3:30pm bottle/nap
6pm dinner
7:30 bottle/bed

All totaled he's getting about 24 ounces of formula/milk a day. Is that too much? I've been giving him the bottle a couple hours after eating because he appears full after his meals and I figured there was no room for the fluid. And it had worked out nicely to give him the bottle where he settles down and then is ready for a nap. Note that he doesn't always fall asleep while getting the bottle. Especially at night he drinks his bottle and I put him in his crib fully awake.

So I'm wondering how you all do it? Do you give formula/milk with a meal and how much do they drink? And how do you get them to nap with out giving them a bottle. When do you cut out the bottle all together? Talk about Declan not being ready for change. Mama is not ready for change either.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[C99]

Allison,

Don't stress too much! I've read all that stuff about teeth rot from letting kids go to bed with bottles/sippies, etc. and while I think it is an issue, I also think that sometimes you can only do one thing at a time. Nate still nurses and he nurses to sleep for his naps, so it's probably the same thing as getting a bottle to go to sleep. I have no idea how I'm going to cut it out either, so I am taking a wait-and-see approach. We did just break the "nursing to sleep" at night habit about a month ago, by nursing him before the bath and then rocking him to sleep or drowsiness. Our schedule is pretty similar to yours -- just substitute nursing session for bottle.

Nate also drinks whole cow's milk as a supplement to solid foods, but I really couldn't tell you how much he drinks in a day -- it's hit or miss. Sometimes he'll take a sippy as a snack, sometimes he takes one during/after a meal.

[lizajane]

please don't think you have totally messed up! it doesn't sound like you are doing anything that is going to cause any damage to your child. the milk in the bottle rule, i think, it just a way to say start weaning them off the bottle around a year. and the amount of liquid per day rule, i think, it something like 16-20 oz. so i don't think that extra 4 oz is going to ruin him!!!

maybe just slowly move the liquids closer to meal times until you are giving him some milk in a sippy cup with his meals, and at snack times instead of before bed. and slowly reduce his intake to 20 oz. no big deal.

also, you could brush his teeth after his bottle so that you don't have to worry about the whole bottle before bed thing. if he is going to bed awake, maybe you could start the teeth brushing routine slowly so that it doesn't break the snuggle/soothe routine too much.

since schuyler is only one day older, i will tell you what we do:
7am nurse (i would guess 8oz of bm)
8am breakfast
9-11 nap
11am sippy cup of soymilk (6oz? it is increasing because we just dropped the 5pm nursing)
11:30 or 12:00 lunch, sippy goes on the tray with him, along with a sippy of water- he drinks from both- probably drinks 2oz of water with this meal or less and finishes the milk cup
2:00 more soymilk or a snack, depends on where we are and what we're doing, maybe 3 oz of soymilk or maybe 2 oz of water
3-4:30 nap
4:30 sippy of soymilk (6oz?) and snack
6:00 dinner, sippy of soymilk and water on the tray, again, probably drinks 2-3 oz of water and just 2oz of milk
7:00 bed

i think he probably gets about 16-20 oz of fluid because he tends to leave an oz in the bottom of each cup of soymilk. so i may GIVE him more than that, but he drinks about 16-20. i don't pay too much attention because he eats a lot, too. so i know his balance is ok.

[jennifer13]

Allison,

It's so hard to figure all this out, isn't it? I agree with the other posters, the "no bottle before bed" rule I think is really more about literally going to sleep with the bottle, and the milk pooled in the baby's mouth. Norah gets a bottle before bed and then we brush teeth. It's become part of the routine and she seems to like it. And also the "no milk in the bottle" thing is about weaning to cup, not getting dependent, not being on the bottle when he's 2, etc. Really sometimes it feels like this push from bottle to sippy is a little too intense. My ped says off all bottles by 1 y.o., but it will probably be later than that for us.

We have been weaning from bottle to cup- giving formula in a sippy at breakfast instead of a bottle, and now I'm working on the sippy at lunch instead of a bottle. So maybe instead of a bottle before naps you can make a new routine, e.g. hold him on your lap, sippy cup, look at books, etc.

And the bullseye thing...I'm glad you asked that, because I have often wondered what to do about it. I finally decided (both from info from my ped and just my own exp with DD) that the bullseye also is just a part of eating a more varied diet and having poops of some acidity, and frankly it also depends on how soon after the poop the diaper is changed. And it seems like the firmer the poop the more likely there is to be a red ring. No idea what that's about. Anyway, I had been panicking about it, but now I see that it just is what it is, and it never gets really bad. Maybe Declan's IS bad, don't mean to minimize it.

Anyway, good luck, don't stress, it sounds like you're doing just fine. He won't go to kindergarten with a bottle.

Jennifer
Mom to Norah 5/23/03

[McQ]

Thanks. I talked to the ped too and I feel better about this. I swear I have the most laid back ped. Which works with my style. My I'm generally laid back expect for the freak-outs style :)

First, she said that she doubts the bulls-eye is milk intolerance. She just thinks it's irritated from the change in consistency of his poops and adjusting to the milk. That she doubts it's an intolerance because he'd been on Enfamil Lipil which is cow milk based. She said just to give him baths and get this - air dry the area with a blow dryer. I can see that! And to treat with desitin, and if that doesn't clear, lotramin because it could be fungal, and if that doesn't clear it, then to bring him in.

She laughed at the hard fast rules in the books (they mean well but...) about getting rid of the bottle at one year and said it should be between 15 and 18 months. And despite what Satter had in her book, that putting milk in a bottle does NOT cause the stomach to be upset. The ped said that there's no difference in the delivery (bottle or sippy) to cause stomach problems. She did suggest starting to give milk in the sippy to get him accustomed to it - again so he'll give up the bottle between 15-18 months - but there's no problem with the bottle now. Just to work on it.

She said at this point the milk/formula intake should be between 16-24 ounces so I'm okay there too. She did suggest starting to give a sippy at meals or as a snack and to gradually start shifting from the before nap bottle.

I like the idea of the tooth brush becoming more part of our bed routine. We give it to him now but he more likes chewing on the other end. As with everything, practice, practice, practice.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03
and number 2 EDD 9.14.04

[jennifer13]

Thanks for sharing that info from your ped! It was very reassuring for me to hear too. My ped is kind of strict (20 oz of formula, no bottles after 1 year) but I think I'm going to listen to yours instead. :)

FWIW, in the past months when I have tried to wean to a cup DD would start rejecting solid foods, and then I figured out that when she had a bottle she didn't reject the food. Just balancing her need for cuddling and her need for independence I guess! Anyway, just wanted to throw that out there as you wean you might see changes in other areas. I now give her her morning sippy while holding her in my lap, and do bottles the rest of the time. Good luck! And have fun with that hair dryer!


Jennifer
Mom to Norah 5/23/03