Need advice on sleep for a 5 week old

[smiliedds]

This is my first baby and the first 2 weeks were more difficult than I anticipated. But I am happy to say I stuck with BFeeding and it did finally got easier. My question now is regarding sleeping.

I understand that every baby is different but I guess I need either some advice or reassurance (that this is normal). My DS wants to feed every one to three hours. He is always very content right after the feed, but then most of the time, he starts crying or fussing because of gas. Actually, probably 10% of the time, I have to stop the BF session to burp him because he gets very uncomfortable from having gas. Now, burping him takes anywhere from 10 min to as much as one to two hours. So there are times when I feed him for like 40 to 50 min, change him, burp him for over an hour, and then back to nursing. Nop, there is no break in between, so no sleep for both of us.

Now, the times when it doesn't take long to burp him, he settles down but almost never falls asleep on his own. We end up holding him and can't let go till he wakes up for the next feed because he would wake up almost every time we try to put him down. If we manage to put him down to sleep on his own, it only lasts like two minutes. He starts wiggling his arms and legs and wakes up crying... So one of us would be sitting beside him trying to calm him every time he starts moving. This works for the most half an hour... Then we are back to holding him until he needs to eat again! (So much for sleep while your baby sleeps.) This goes on day and night, of course! My sanity is still intact because of the help from my DH and my mother. Otherwise, I really don't think I would even get half an hour of sleep per day. My DS is nonw 5 weeks old and there doesn't seem to be any improvement on this sleep issue.

I guess I am asking if this is normal. And if it is, any suggestion on how to improve the 'situation'.

[american_mama]

I didn't have a gassy baby, so I can't help much there except to try different positions. Sitting baby in lap and leaning him forward, patting/rubbing his back, classic over shoulder hold, etc. I think there are some baby massage techniques that could help; you could check out a book or look into a class. Some babies also take Xantax or mycelin drops for gas; I really know nothing about those, so talk to your pediatrician.

For sleeping, many babies don't fall asleep on their own and getting them to do so is one of those all-consuming issues for new parents. You might try swaddling him so his arms and legs are close to him (you can also leave his arm out if the total swaddle seems too much). I am not a co-sleeper, but you could try sleeping together either all night or until he falls asleep. When he's REALLY asleep, you could either try transferring him or leaving him where he is (if it's safe) while you get up and do something else (or sleep somewhere else).

You might also try having him sleep in a more enclosed space, like his car seat or a bouncy seat. You could even put either one IN the crib. Car seats aren't ideal places for babies to spend a lot of time, but it might help for the time being. You could also see if a bassinet seems to make him happier (maybe try with a lightly padded laundry basket to see if it helps), or if positioning him in a corner of the crib so his feet touch the end and he's not lost in that big space.

If breastfeeding seems to be going well, you could also try a pacifier, which might help soothe your son at night. But it sounds like body warmth, a secure wrap around his limbs, your heartbeat and of course the comfort of mom and dad are what really soothes him to sleep. Try to think of ways to provide those that don't drive you nuts (slings? front carriers?) or through substitutes (swaddle, smaller sleeping environment.) And, as with all things with tiny infants, give it time. He will change so much so fast at this age.

[mum1day]

IMHO, co-sleeping is a wonderful way to get more rest. I noticed that when DD wakes to nurse she never has gas. I also have over-active let-down and it helps tremendously. We have co-slept from day 1 and highly reccomend it.

[tarahsolazy]

I can't speak to the gas thing, either. My DS didn't have too much trouble there. However, my DS slept in someone's arms (mine or DH's) for at least the first 6 weeks or so. He would not sleep alone, he just woke up and cried. We'd planned on co-sleeping, and that saved my sanity. I actally slept "holding" him, with my arm under his neck, around his back. If you held him, he slept great. So being inherently lazy, I held him. I also advocate swaddling, so he can't hit himself in the face. We now swaddle DS, because otherwise he tries to beat me and himself to death in his sleep. It really calms him. The Miracle Blanket is amazing www.themiracleblanket.com. We call it the infant straightjacket, and it rocks! Now, at four months (my how fast time goes), DS naps on his own (swaddled) in his crib, swing, or bouncy seat, and sleeps for 3 or 4 hours in his crib at night before I come to bed, when I take him into the big bed with DH and I. I was panicked that I'd never be able to put him down, but eventually, with no work on my part, I was. Hope you find a solution that works for your family, and congrats on sticking with BF, it just gets easier and easier from this point on. Good job, Mama!

[smiliedds]

Thank you all for the suggestions. I think I will try swaddling again first and see from there. I am hoping he will learn to sleep on his own soon. After all, everybody seems to say their babies all get better as they get older. I just hope I have the energy to stay awake till then.

[pritchettzoo]

Here's a link for gassiness: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/gassybaby.html

My DD had to be held in order for her to sleep until she was 4 months old. In order for me to survive, I mastered sleeping while holding her. I would do it with her in the middle of our King-sized bed with carefully arranged pillows so she (and my crooked arm) couldn't go anywhere. Yes, your shoulder feels like it will never work again--but you'll get some sleep. Eventually we found that she would sleep at night in her swing (but not during the day). Then at 4 months, she transitioned to the co-sleeper and then to our bed. We didn't intend to co-sleep, but she seems to need the human contact, and it has worked out wonderfully for us.

Oh, and the Miracle Blanket worked well for us--in the swing, believe it or not. The things you'll do to get sleep...

Good luck!

Anna

[jacksmomtobe]

I don't remember the exact name of this solution but some of the Mom's in my Mom's group raved about a natural solution that consisted of ginger and something else. This product is used a lot by European Moms. One of the local baby stores here carries it. It worked on a baby who had acid reflux issues as well. Sorry I can't be more helpful by remembering the name of the product.

[smiliedds]

Thank you very much for the reply. It's a relief to know that I am not the only one. I can't wait till my baby learns to sleep on his own even if it's for only one hour... Meanwhile, I have to keep reminding myself that this is going to get better!

[Rikkele]

I think you are thinking of Gripe Water. It is used by European, Asian, S. American and Australian cultures and is a mixture of 5 oils used to relieve flatulence and indigestion and gas. Some have been used for over 5,000 years. I got mine from the LC at the peds office. It is made by Colic-ease. My ped even used it on her own kids. I think it works very well although not a miracle cure. I paid $15 for a 7 oz bottle. The web site is www.colicease.com for anyone intersted. :)

[mickey]

I also had a pretty gassy baby and would pull my hair out trying to get her to sleep for more than a half hour at a time.

I'm not a big fan of the co-sleeper - I couldn't even sleep with the baby in a bassinet next to the bed. I'd be up every time I heard a peep.

My night 3 we had the baby in her crib in her own room. It was a little freaky the first couple of nights - but I think it helped both of us get some rest.

She was always the gassiest early evening - so I would do whatever it took to get her to sleep. Sometimes I would even get her in her carseat and go for a drive - then come back in the house and she'd just sleep in the carseat for a couple of hours.

I also had a swing that had a bassinet attachment - and she seems to sleep pretty well in there too.

As far as sleeping habits go - I highly recommend Baby Wise. - I know there are many people that are against it - and I don't agree with everything in the book - but the sleep training works great. They recommend waking the baby every 3-4 hours during the day for feedings, playing then sleeping in the order around the clock - except for middle of the night feedings. The book was recommended to me by a few friends that had 2 or more kids - all of their kids were sleeping thru the night by 10 weeks or less.

My baby was sleeping thru the night by 6 weeks (she'd go down around 10:30 and wake around 5:30). It slowly became a longer stretch - by the time I went back to work (12 weeks) she was going down around 9 and not waking until 7am. Honest it will get better. You might have to let the baby cry a little (I don't think i was able to let her go more than 15 minutes) - but at some point they will learn to sooth themselves back to sleep - you have to give them the opportunity to do so.

Goodluck!

[pritchettzoo]

Please be aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued warnings against Babywise. I'm sure this is a very slanted site, but it has some real information (i.e., the AAP release and some respected journal articles) on there too: http://www.ezzo.info/babywise.htm

Anna

[Rikkele]

You are definitey not alone! My DD is 7 wks but at 5wks decided she didn't want to sleep anywhere but in my arms. During the day if I put her down when she is asleep she wakes screaming in 2 - 10 mins. The swing has helped some but she just took to it at 6 wk and will only sleep in it for about 15 min. This has been a killer since DH is always at work and I have no nearby family. I'm lucky if I get my teeth brushed by 1pm! At first I was extremely concerned but after hearing the same from other moms here I decided it must be "normal." The one thing that has helped tremendously is using a sling. I highly recommend it if you don't have one. I also agree with the swaddling. DD does the same thing and flails arms and legs waking herself if not swaddled. I usually end up holding her until she falls asleep and then when deeply asleep I VERY CAREFULLY swaddle her and lay her down. That usually lasts about 5-10 min which is enough to go to the bathroom or eat something quick! Fortunately she will sleep for about 3hr stretches in her craddle at night. I have only had to resort to co-sleeping about 3-4 times as it makes my very nervous.
I have ordered "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantly, Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I think they recommend starting when baby is about 4 mos but I am hoping to get a head start. I have also heard negative things about Babywise - primarily that the techniques and rec's in the book have no scientific research to back them up. However, kudos to the poster who had her baby sleeping through the night at 6wks. I'm jealous!
Anyway, good luck! I have decided that although inconvenient and exhausting, I will try to cherish every minute of it because I'm sure all too quickly the day will come when I will long for the days when I could just hold her in my arms!

[DeeEast]

Your situation sounds a lot like mine when DD was that age. The best advice I can give you is 1) try not drinking milk. It made my DD very gassy but I didn't realize it until she was 4 or 5 months old. Also if you are eating a lot of chocolate you might want to cut that out. I didn't believe it could make that much difference but in retrospect, I think it might have made her wired.

2) Swaddling. It was an absolute necessity for us. Don't be afraid to swaddle TIGHTLY! It will keep her from flailing around and waking herself as quickly.

Good luck. You have my sympathies. I've been there and its awful.

[lampes]

I feel you and third the swaddling idea. I had the same problems with my baby. I was at my wit's end at 5 weeks and a good friend recommended the Happiest Baby on the Block DVD. It was a life saver. The first time we did the swaddling, my baby slept in her bassinet for four hours straight. It was a godsend. We didn't buy the miracle blanket but purchased cotton knit fabric from the fabric store and that worked out just great. We swaddled until three months and now DD sleeps fine without it because she has more control over her limbs.

I thought that my baby didn't like swaddling because she would cry when we swaddled her but after about the 4th night of swaddling, she almost welcomed it because she realized that this would help her go to sleep. With a combination of the swaddling and shushing, we were able to get her to sleep within 10-15 minutes every time and she would generally sleep 3-4 hours at a time.