I would love some tips on how to nurse more discreetly in public....

[sbjf]

I'd like to be able to nurse very discreetly but I'm sort of clumsy with getting him latched (though we're getting better at this so that's why I'm even thinking about nursing more in public) and sometimes he pulls off while eating and my nipple shows. If I'm off to a private spot it's no big deal, but certain settings, like at restaurants, church and while shopping, people are all around me and I want to be as discreet as possible.

It seems like nursing John Patrick in my Maya sling would be the smartest thing to do, but he doesn't like the cradle position and I haven't figured out how to nurse him in the vertical position. I plan to practice at home tomorrow and I will probably have to pop in my Maya video, but if any of you have tips for me that would be great.

Also, my breasts are large so sometimes I need to even hold my breast up for him a bit. Anyone else with this problem? If so, what do you do when in public?

Basically I will welcome ANY tips on how to nurse discreetly in public.

By the way, the reason I am finding the need to do this (nip) is because even though he takes a bottle well I notice that many times while at restaurants it's not that he's hungry, but rather tired or just unsettled and needs to nurse to be comforted, the bottle of ebm doesn't do the trick in these cases.

Please let me know if you think I should just try to get more comfortable with having some of my breast show, I can do that if I know that that's what is the norm, maybe I'm trying to be modest and don't really need to?! I wish I saw more women nursing in public around me, then I would feel so much better doing it myself.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I have large breasts that I have to hold up too. Here are some things that worked for me.

I like to wear a loose t-shirt with a button-down shirt over it, unbuttoned. This helps hide things from the side view. I used to tuck the bottom of the shirt into the waistband of my pants to hide my tummy.

I use my opposite hand to hold up my breast. That way my arm and hand are under the t-shirt so it is not obvious what I am doing.

When Logan was in the stage where she like to pop off and look around, I had to keep a close eye on her and when she popped off, I would hurry up and put my hand over my nipple as fast as I could. This gave me time to let my shirt fall down to cover it.

Logan didn't like having my shirt near her nose. (she still doesn't). so she would reach up an push my shirt up showing the whole top of my breast. We call it "selling tickets" as in "Logan is selling tickets again - '50 cents to see my mommy's booby'". I figured there wasn't much I could do about it, so I just got used to it. Her face covered the nipple, and I wasn't really showing any more than a woman with a strapless dress. Oh and since my breasts are large, I figured I was showing a small percentage of it anyway. :)

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[tarahsolazy]

I wear sort of loose t-shirts, or a tank with a loose shirt over it, un-buttoned. I watch DS closely, and when he pops off, I drop the shirt over my nipple. I also hunch over him quite a bit, which hides everything. I do not advocate this, it is probably very bad for my back, but his head is as heavy as a bowling ball, so I rest it on my knee and lower myself to him. Now, I'm just trying to be less shy, which is hard, I know. I also focus on DS, so I have that "I can't see anyone looking at us, so no one is" thing goin' on. I can't offer much help, but just wanted to offer hugs and support for giving John Patrick the best. (Never able to nurse in the sling here, my guy never liked cradle hold, either)

[farsk]

Bonnie,

I, too, have large breasts that require holding, and I have found it helpful to hold (for instance) my right breast with my right hand and hook the hem of my shirt round my thumb. That way, when Ellen pops off, I immediately move my thumb (with my shirt in tow) over my exposed breast so that it isn't exposed. It works well and I have never been self-concious.

Good luck and good for you! More mommies need to NIP!

[junieblee]

I got this idea from a friend of mine who nursed 3 kids throughout the late 70's : wear a poncho! I thought this could really work as ponchos are back in again and act as a little tent over baby while nursing. Here is a lightweight silk one I just ordered from overstock:

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=744882

I thought it looked cute and was something I would wear anyway! I should be receiving it soon and I hope it will alleviate my self-consciousness about nursing in public.

HTH!

ETA: I got the poncho and it is really cute, light and airy. The only problem is that there is stitching separating the "body" from the "arms" so the poncho doesn't drape smoothly over the babe if she is lying somewhat horizontally on my lap. It can still be used but would be perfect without this stitching. So I guess I'll add this to my accessory collection but keep looking for the perfect nursing poncho!

[californiagirl]

I try to make sure that nipple doesn't show for very long, but I've given up on making sure it never shows at all. The baby hates being hot, and won't nurse in the sling unless she'd be freezing without it. I try to wear T-shirts that aren't too long (anything that's too long will just bunch up unusefully). I undo the hooks from the top, and latch her mouth onto the nipple and her top hand onto a middle bit of my shirt (otherwise she often grabs the very edge of the shirt and waves it around, aargh). I also do the hunching over her thing.

I contemplate where I'm sitting to try to get places where I'm not too much on show; I find that if I don't think about it, I tend to want to sit in corners, but that means I'm facing the room. Not good; the baby is distracted and I'm self conscious. Better to sit with my back to the room.

I often end up holding a breast, but in most positions it just looks like I'm holding the baby, or that's what I believe. Rather than looking at the baby, I try to look at something else, in the hope that other people will follow my gaze -- a book, my dinner companion, whatever.

[MartiesMom2B]

The unbutton shirt over a t-shirt was the best way to NIP for me. And to hide the top of my breast I would put Martie's lovey between my breast and her cheek. Not covering her - just me - laying it so that it looked it was caressing her cheek (the cheek that's closest to my breast)and that I was holding her while trying to get her to sleep.

Sonia http://www.planetsmilies.com/smilies/character/1/character03.gif
Proud Mommy to Martie

[american_mama]

Like others have said, an outer shirt or jacket with a T shirt will hide the side and bare belly/waist view. Wish I'd thought of that when I was nursing! Wearing just a button-up shirt lets you unbotton from the top or bottom, whichever feels more comfortable to you. Forget about dresses unless you get very talented. I did see in a nursing room a mother of 3 nurse by just slipping one strap and side of her sundress down, but I never got that good.

I also kept alert to pull my shirt over my nipple whenever DD popped off. I hated the shirt being bunched up, but at least I was covered. However, I notice many nursing friends don't mind if their nipple shows for quite a long time while their babe checks out the room, so everyone's standards our different. When my daughter was much older, she liked to lift my shirt up and play with it while nursing, and I never found a good resolution to that. I just kept trying to pull my shirt down and fortunately, my DD seemed to consider the struggle a game, so the nursing didn't get interrupted.

I also learned to unfasten and re-fasten my bra with one hand, which took time. I would hunch down while doing it to try to gain some privacy. Sometimes I went for a long time with my shirt down, but my bra undone, which I hated, but again, I was covered.

And finally, take it slow. I first NIP in a dressing room at a Target, then later in the backseat of my car. But I quickly got to where I would do it anywhere, and eventually I nursed at that same Target sitting on the food court bench by the busy entrance. And I nursed on a plane next to a male stranger. I once heard a Seinfeld joke along the lines of ok, so a baby is attached, but isn't it still a breast? And I decided that because the baby *is* attached, that makes it different. No other reason needed. I wouldn't bare my breasts in public or know what my friend's nipples look like if we weren't breastfeeding. Even when I see people breastfeeding a little too barely for my tastes, I remind myself that the ends do justify the means, in this case.

Practicing with a mirror in front of you may help you get another perspective of what looks modest and what you want to better cover up.

[kitmama]

Along the lines of the poncho idea, there are cover-ups made specifically for nursing. I have one my SIL gave me that is lightweight cotton, with mesh at the top for more air flow. DS nurses in this little tent. Personally, I think I'd prefer an airy lightweight knitted or crocheted poncho, and have thought about making one, but haven't had the time.

When using this cover-up, most people don't seem to have any idea what I'm doing, and those that do don't seem to mind a bit. In fact, the only comments I've had have been positive.

DS does like to mess around with the tent, but I will caress his hand to keep it still or give him my necklace to play with instead. It generally works very well.

[aim]

I have taken to weating nursing tank tops from target under normal t-shirts this summer - it really covers up your side when you lift your shirt to nurse - it is too warm to wear a buttom down shirt over something here in summer and this was my compromise - it still leaves you with the problem of popping off, but somehow with my side and belly covered I feel like I can manage that pretty easily by just watching for it.

Amy

[sbjf]

Wow, what a great bunch of ladies here, thank you!

I'm going to take a bunch of your suggestions!

[cara1]

I think DS was 12 weeks before I was comofortable NIPing. You each have to get better at it, and better at latching, and then you'll be able to show less boob. I also started in dressing rooms. I heard of a Mom who practiced in front of a mirror. I also got a nice nursing top from Motherwear that I used constantly in the beginning. Eventually, with experience, I could wear any old shirt, but in the beginning, the nursing top helped with discreetness (is that a word?). Give it time!