How do I night-wean a reluctant almost 1-yo?

[Mom to Brandon and 2 cats]

Well, DS#2 definitely is a night snacker. For the past few days, I've been trying to hold off nursing him between 11pm and 5am, trying to get him to sleep a little more. He normally wakes up every 2.5 to 3 hours.

For 2 days, I was able to rock him back to sleep. Last night he was up for 2 hours (2-4am), when I finally gave in and nursed him. Then he went to sleep like a charm.

Any advice on how to cut down/back on the night feedings? I didn't have this much problem with DS#1. Oh, and we've been trying to give him extra solids before bedtime (anywhere from 7 to 8pm), to help tide him over.

I guess it's being selfish, but I would like to start weaning soon. I sooooo want my sex life back!

Thanks to anyone with any advice.

[kimbe]

You aren't being selfish! Here is how I started night weaning DD. She was waking up to eat 2x a night. When she would get up, I would get her and nurse her, but only on one side then put her back to bed. The first few nights, she wasn't too happy, and protested a bit, but it was <5 minutes of crying and it was mostly just her being POed so I could handle it. I did that for about a month. After that, I cut out the first time that she woke up to eat. When she cried, I would go in, offer her water, if she didn't want it, I would hug her cuddle, etc for a few minutes and put her back. (However, if she was uncalmable she went back in the crib and I would leave.) The first few nights, she cried for about 10-15 minutes and we did a Ferberish type thing of going in every few minutes. It took about a week to get rid of that feeding. (Still fed her the second time that she would wake up -- on one side.) She then dropped the second feeding on her own --- we were amazed.

Like I said, I don't think that you are being selfish. I was so exhausted and frustrated I wanted to wean DD cold turkey because I just couldn't function anymore and I voiced this at DD's 1 year appt. My ped told me that I shouldn't do that, but that I should night wean DD and THEN decide how I felt about nursing. She was right, after night weaning, I felt like a million bucks and still do!

Good luck. I hope things start going easier for you and I hope that you find something that works for you!

[maestramommy]

Hi Jennifer, I don't know if you've seen my recent post, but we've been working on weaning Dora from her first night feeding, and then she started to drop the 2nd feeding on her own, so now we are continuing to encourage her to sleep the whole night through. I didn't do the gradual thing (nursing only on one side), I just started out by refusing to nurse her before 2:30. When she woke, first Dh would go in and pat her down, offer her water, etc, leave after about 30 seconds. 10 minutes later I would go in and do the same, although I think I stayed a little longer. It took only 2 turns for each of us before she gave up and went back to sleep.

I also started offering her solids about 30-60 minutes before bedtime. Basically dinner. And of course nurse her at bedtime. At first she wasn't too into it (she was a VERY SMALL eater), but once she started not getting the first feeding, she started eating MUCH more during the day. I was actually astounded by the change. We've only been pushing for the 2nd feeding since Monday, when she woke up at 7am. Yesterday she woke at 5:30, and refused to go back down despite repeated attempts by Dh. This morning she slept til 7 again. It's still a work in progress.

I soooo hear you! It's not so much my sex life as my sleep that has been wrecked by the night feedings. Things are slowly getting better.

[infocrazy]

I hear ya! I have been trying as well and am down to just the morning--which I will hopefully end this weekend.

My breakthrough moment was when I had to go out of town for a wedding overnight and DS woke up once for DH and went right back to sleep! Traitor!

Sometimes at bedtime, DS pats my chest, but I hand him a sippy and he is fine. What has been working for us overnight is having DH go in when DS wakes up. This morning he woke up at 4 and DH just laid him back down and he slept until 7. If I go in, I don't nurse and DS gets MAD! It usually takes me 30 minutes at least to get him back to sleep. After one night where DS kept doing this, DH realized that he needed to be the one to do the overnight and it has worked as a charm ever since.

We had been cosleeping and that just wasn't working for us anymore. So first we CIO (took 2 days, & he didn't even cry that much, just gave me the evil eye & whined!--I couldn't believe it, I wish we'd down it months ago!), then I started dropping the nursing. Now he goes to bed around 9:30 and only wakes once if at all. We started the entire process about 2.5 weeks ago.

HTH

[deenass]

Dr Jay Gordon (an "attachment paretning" ped) has a "plan" on his website on how to gently wean at night. I'm sure you can find with a google search. I also know a link has been posted here before

[mommysammi]

I had your problem and didn't have a choice but wait it out. I tried the crying it out method, the Dr. method, but nothing worked. Then one night when DS was at 14 months, he slept through the night. For me, it was just a matter of waiting it out. I tried everything, even getting him to eat a lot before he sleeps.