View Full Version : Not feeling welcome.

11-17-2005, 02:37 AM
I am new to the board and have listed a few questions.
I rarely get any replys. Please help me to understand the right way to ask a question to get better responses. I have been reading the posts for a few weeks and really was impressed its content.
Thanks for any guidance.

11-17-2005, 08:23 AM
Mollie, welcome and sorry you are feeling that way! Some questions are tough to answer and it takes a while for the right person (with that answer) to come along. Other times, the question has been asked (and discussed) pretty recently, so people mistake the thread for one they've already seen.

Do you know how to use the search feature? If not, expore it a bit - you may find that many of your questions have already been answered. And if not, don't hesitate to bump up your questions so that they get seen again - sometimes that's all it takes to get an answer. Most of us are busy moms, so please try to understand!

11-17-2005, 02:07 PM
Hi Mollie, I am sorry you are feeling that way. These boards can be quite busy and sometimes questions get lost in the shuffle. I've had that happen many times and if it's a personal question, it can be hard not to feel hurt.

Lori made some good suggestions. I would second her idea about doing a search for your topic prior to listing the question. I have no idea if this is the case with questions you've asked, but after being on this board awhile, I noticed that new people often ask questions that many people have asked before, sometimes even quite recently. If I have already put my heart into answering the question earlier, then sometimes I just don't have it to write the whole thing out again. That could be some of what's going on.

It's true that some questions are hard to answer, particularly if the perfect person to answer it doesn't happen to see it. I tried to search for some of your questions but the ones I saw in the Reality Layette all had some answers to them and I didn't find others from you. If you'd like, you can point me toward some of the ones that didn't get answered (give me some search words that pull it up). I'd be happy to give you feedback (assuming you don't mind bluntness, it's one of my strengths/faults.)

That being said, try not to take it personally and feel unwelcome. I've had to work on that myself so I know how it is when you first get started. There are a lot of people who are very active on these boards and who are friends with other members (both on and off the boards) - if you are not able to be as active, it can feel as though there is a clique thing going on. I don't get the sense anyone means that to happen - it's just a natural byproduct of some people having more face time here than others and therefore becoming "known" by many others.

Take care and please let me know if I can answer any other questions.


WOHM to Jack, 6/4/02
Baby Madeline 12/14/04

11-17-2005, 04:23 PM
Hi Mollie,
I'm sorry you're feeling unwelcome. It can be very frustrating when you post something and it seems like no one replies.

It can take a while to get a feel for the boards. Some forums don't get much traffic, or mostly traffic from expectant parents, like Baby Bedding. Some, like Reality Layette, get so much that posts can easily get lost. You might try bumping your post if it's getting buried without many replies.

You might also want to introduce yourself and tell everyone a little bit about your family. The BBB is a great resource, so please stick around. :)

Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

11-17-2005, 06:39 PM
Hi Mollie
I'm pretty new to the BBB (don't know what the third B is for yet).
I lurked around just getting a feel for the place all last year and part of this year.
I started off by responding to others. I think I started off at the Bitching Post responding to the more humorous threads. One day I just posted and got a couple of responses. Since then I've found a 'home' at FIT MOM where a bunch of us are working on a challenge.

Hang in there and don't give up because this is a really supportive place.
Good luck and I'll search for your question.

I think I'm going to introduce myself as was suggested...sounds like a good way to make more of a 'connection' with others.

11-17-2005, 09:15 PM
Hi, Mollie. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I remember posting something similar when I started; I was a little bummed about it, like I was being shut out of a club I wanted to join. :)

But it's just the timing of things and what catches people's eyes - it's not personal, just the luck of the draw. I'm sorry we've missed your posts!

I have to run but late tonight when I'm home I'll search for your posts and see if I can help! :)

Give us another chance - this is a fabulous group of people with a wealth of knowledge!


11-18-2005, 02:42 AM
Thanks for all your kindness and guidance and the ways of the board.
My daughter is 18 months and we are trying for #2 technoly # 4 I have A 15 and 17 year old for prevois marrage. And I look forward to using this board for many years to come.

11-18-2005, 11:57 AM
I have been a member of this board since its inception and a lot of my posts don't get answers. It is not personal just that you have to wait for the right person to read it.

11-22-2005, 08:56 AM
Welcome Mollie! Sorry you haven't been feeling welcome, but hopefully you'll stick around and find this is actually a very warm and inviting place. I've actually been a member for a while (as evident by my posts, LOL!) and there are still times when I'll post and not get any replies or only one. It really is just the luck of when I'm posting (like weekends have fewer readers) or if other things are going on for people. Big big hugs to you! I hope to see you around, maybe in the lounge, feeding, around the house, or butts (where I spend most of my time)!


http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/candle.gif for Leah

Kaya's a cousin! 10/1/05, 5lb13oz

11-30-2005, 12:21 PM

I hear you! I am so sorry that you haven't been greeted with open arms, I am a newbie (here) too, and together we will infiltrate this board (evil grin). I know from other boards that they can be cliquey (?) and a little slow at accepting newbies. Just get a thick skin and keep posting! It does take time and it hurts my feelings too. I posted a fabulous bargain on this site, and not one person said "thanks" or "got one". (with the exception of dr mom, who said "welcome to the board" <BTW, THANKS YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ONE LITTLE POST MEANT TO ME>). I was so excited to finally have something to offer the board in exchange for all the info I have received here! Meanwhile, if an established poster puts a 5% coupon up, they get tons of replies, and if they have any questions, they get answered. Keep asking! Don't let it bother you. When people get used to seeing you around, they'll answer. I think it's human nature to be suspicious of the unknown :P

11-30-2005, 01:35 PM
Welcome to the board, JoEllen! ;)

The Bargain forum isn't as "chatty" in general as the other boards and often posts there don't get any replies.

This board is a great place, much friendlier in general than other boards, but with so many members it is easy to get lost in the crowd. Why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a little about your kid(s)?

Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03 and Rebecca 09/05

12-01-2005, 12:33 PM
Welcome, Mollie! :) Please keep posting and give us a chance. These boards are pretty busy, and it's easy for posts to sometimes get overlooked. And, yes, these boards are terrific, and the people here top rate.

Mommy to my beautiful little boy, Luke (April 2003)

Before you were conceived I wanted you.
Before you were born I loved you.
Before you were here an hour I would die for you.
This is the miracle of life.
Maureen Hawkins