A letter to brides and DBS dealers

[Deb Gordon]

To the DBS dealers and brides affected by the closing of DBS

I am so sorry for the losses you have sustained through the closing of DBS. There has been so much anger and bitterness throughout this – very one sided – media circus that I want to share with you another families’ story of loss. Perhaps it will put things into perspective and alleviate some of the misplaced anger you are feeling.

My parents have been helping brides make their dreams come true for over 30 years. I grew up playing in the dressing rooms of bridal stores on weekends and watching my parents struggle to make ends meet as retailers, based on the daily income their store(s) generated. My parents had three children – one of them was their business.

In 1984 my parents went head to head with the manufacturers and other retailers when they opened DBS. If you think people have nasty things to say about DBS now – you should have been around when my parents opened up the marketplace to allow brides to get their gowns at a discount. They flew in the face of the industry standard and offered the same quality merchandise to customers that they could get in a bridal store (like Martins, for instance) at lower prices. It’s the American way - they have been a shining beacon to support competition in the marketplace, making the consumer the ultimate winner.

Over the last few years I have watched my parents sell off personal assets to keep DBS alive. So much of what they have worked for over the past 3 decades has been put back into their business. When this is over, they will lose their home, the personal assets they had thought would be their retirement and much, much more.

To the brides – I am so sorry that you have suffered from the demise of DBS. My parents used their personal money to be able to ship gowns to you. I know that they may not be the first gown of your choice. Their efforts to give you a gown as close to the style and size of the one you ordered was a personal gift from them to you. Many a bridal store have closed their doors with special order dresses locked inside. They stood firm as their advisors told them that it was not necessary (and in fact stupid) to do. No bridal company has ever taken such dramatic steps to see that their customers are supported. If you can take one positive thing away from this very sad experience, it should be the knowledge that there are people who do their best to do the right thing. I wish you all the best of luck on the beginning of your journey into marriage. I pray that your marriage, the most important part of your big day, will thrive for many years after you have packed away your gown and placed it lovingly in the back of a closet.

To the dealers – I have read some of the mean-spirited posts from you and I am left to wonder, what would you have had them do? Should they have called you to tell you that the business was suffering? What would you have done to support them? Would you have pocketed any money returned to you or distributed it to your customers? How would you have affected a different outcome? They did everything they could have done (and more) to protect you and your brides. The business hasn’t supported itself for years. You don’t hear them blaming you – their sales force – for diminishing sales. Some of you have complained about the manner in which they did business, sending too much paperwork etc… Are you really so myopic to fault the downing of a 3 decade old industry icon on the cost of paper? I challenge any of you to duplicate their efforts. Many a captain has watched their ship go down from the safety of a lifeboat. Sandy and Lenny gave their lifeboat to your brides.

And finally, to all the people who have said “shame on you� to Sandy and Lenny – to what shame do you refer? Shame for being an industry leader? Shame for giving equal quality at lower prices? Shame for forcing an industry to be competitive? Shame for putting food on the tables of DBS reps across the country since 1984? Shame for supporting local employees, some of whom have been with them for more than 20 years? What should they be ashamed of? They lost their business. They tried their hardest and they could not keep it afloat.

As a mother, I tell my children that winning is great. But ultimately, it isn’t the highest prize. A true winner is defined by the way they face adversity. I learned that lesson watching from the examples my parents have set for me. I could not be prouder of them than I am right now. As I watch them bury a beloved child, while an angry mob spits on the coffin I am so proud of their continued efforts to diminish the losses of the people around them.

My parents have helped me to support my children, including my son with autism, both financially and parentally. I’m sure that a part of them would have liked to have kept their personal assets as a safety net for their grandson’s future. They made a choice to put the money they’ve earned with their own blood, sweat and tears back into DBS until they just couldn’t do it anymore. Fault the industry, fault the rising cost of paper, fault anyone you like – but you can’t fault them. They are above reproach and I have never been prouder of my parents.

Deb Gordon

[Jean dbsqueen]

Thanks Deb for being so brave. There are so many dealers who know this to be true but are afraid to post and be attacked. I have been there when other bridal businesses have been forced out after much struggle. They, however just locked their doors and walked away. I know how hard everyone worked to do as much as possible to help in some way, to make an attempt to say "we are so sorry we let you down","here is SOMETHING we hope you can use". I was there when Sandy and Lenny were advised to just walk away and Sandy refused, even if the brides use the dresses to mop the floor, we tried. I would love to go on but I'm not that good a writer and will become too emotional. I wish everyone much success with their future and I pray that all the brides who have been inconvenienced will be able to put this behind them and have a beautiful day. It will get better and it will work out.... for them at least, bless you all.
With much admiration
Jean (dbsqueen)

[Carolyn Bodner]

There is an old saying that there are three sides to every story - yours, mine, and the truth.

Given that, here are some reasons I take exception with the way Sandy and Lenny closed DBS:

1) They could have communicated a "run-down" period to dealers during which DBS would accept no new orders, but would fulfill orders previously placed. Instead, dealers were given no notice that there were any difficulties, and as a result, continued to sell to brides. This makes me look and feel foolish.

2) Since I became a dealer in 1997, DBS has stressed that one of its advantages, and the justification for requiring brides to pay in full at the time the order was placed, was that it used each bride's money to pay for that bride's gown. We've now discovered that was not the case, as we hear from manufacturers who have gowns for orders placed by DBS, but haven't been paid for them or been paid in some time. The question is, where is that money?

3)DBS continued to recruit and train new dealers as recently as June. From their letter, it appears that at that point Sandy and Lenny knew that they could not continue DBS and yet it appears that they took training fees from individuals wishing to become dealers.

As a result, it's my opinion that Sandy and Lenny acted unethically and deceived both their family of dealers and their customers.

[Paper Trail]

I think your #2 is particularly important. The strategy of holding funds for periods of 4-8 mos. (before the funds were actually due from the manufacturers) passed all of the float risk straight to the brides and dealers. Like you, I believe it is unethical for a struggling business to do this, particularly if they are flat-out telling people it's not being done. Can you substantiate this claim? Is the "reason" for advance payment explained somewhere in the training manual, or elsewehere?

[stacij]

I will have to agree with Carolyn's comments. I have more areas that I have found troubling as well.

4) I have heard of at least 1 bride whose order was NEVER placed with the manufacturer - Marisa. This order was paid for by the bride in February and when the dealer called Marisa to assist her in getting dress, was told Marisa refused to take the order until DBS's account was current. No one told this bride that her dress was not ordered, and DBS never told us to stop taking orders for Marisa dresses.

5) Dealers were lied to about many things. We were told delivery dates were longer industry wide and that certain manufacturers were running late. When dealers have asked these manufacturers in the past few days about this, we have been told this is not true. DBS's account was not current and that is why the dresses were delayed. It was always suspicious that the dresses that were late were those that had more time until their wedding - some were delayed 1 to 2 months with no explanation except they were 'stuck in customs' or 'on a ship'. Manufacturers have told dealers in the past days that this is not true, as well.

6) To reply to "jean the queen" (who I will miss), at no point have Sandy or Lenny admitted to, realized, or apologized for the financial losses or personal hardship that their bankruptcy proceedings would and are causing for the dealers that they called 'beloved'.

While there are certainly ways that business procedures could have been improved (as with any business), most dealers I am in contact with are angry at the way Sandy and Lenny have left DBS. Taking a 2 week 'vacation' and not informing dealers until after they have closed on the last day is a very cowardly thing to do. Not filling immediate orders and telling dealers that orders cannot be filled on the date they are scheduled to be delivered - and with a 1 sentence email - is very cowardly, as well.

DBS certainly was a great resource to brides and gave many brides a beautiful wedding. However, if Sandy and Lenny were so sure that brides would be thrilled with their 'gift' of a 'comparable' wedding dress, why have they made themselves unavailable to all brides and dealers since the beginning of 'vacation'. Why do they refuse to communicate with dealers about their questions? I don't know the answer to that, but their actions make them look cowardly at best and very guilty of unethical business practices at worst.

[Paper Trail]

Well put. When I look at this bankruptcy objectively, putting aside all the personal testimonials and DBS' history of "helping brides" for X years, the facts are troubling. It's as simple as that. As emotions subside and the facts start to bubble to the surface, things just look worse and worse. I don't think this whole affair will die down anytime soon, so it will be interesting to see how the facts play out. P.S. Jean is a-ok in my book as well.

[bridefelisha]

i thinks its great that they "tried" to help these brides get a comparable dress...but what about my whole bridal party who placed an order to dbs on june 15 and the company took the order and the money knowing that the following week they were going to file bankruptcy...that is some very shady sh*t!! I am not sure what reasoning was behind these actions but all i know is that anyone who would do that is horrible and should be ashamed of themselves.

[Owed Damages]

The cost of paperwork isn't in the paper, it's in the work. Most dealers were netting less than $20 per gown before any soft costs like labor. That doesn't buy a whole lot of effort in an industry where 50% margins and streamlined ordering tools are common. So I don't think it's so crazy to think that paperwork caused Dealer opportunity costs to increase, which caused Dealers to focus on selling other products, which caused DBS sales to dwindle, which brought down an industry icon. Just a minor point...I realize it was not the main one in your message.

[audley7575]

Thanks for the other side, Jean. I wish you the best in whatever you do. And I wish the same for all the other former dealers and former staff at DBS.

Audley

[Formerdealer]

There are always two ways of looking at anything. Deb is loyal to her parents, of course. They may have had good intentions, but somewhere along the line they lost their way, and took us all down with them. None of us should have to pay for anything, as little as we earned on these dresses. It's just not right to leave us holding the bag for these brides.
I disagree with Deb's assertion that they didn't blame us for diminishing sales. Sandy blatantly did that to all of us! And what's the big deal about paperwork? Who was complaining about paper usage??? I have no idea where she was going with that one. She says we are mean-spirited. That's hardly the case. We don't say we despise Sandy and Lenny or wish harm to them. We are rightfully angry at the destruction they have caused to our lives and businesses. How could they expect otherwise?
Debra, your response was polite and to the point. It conveyed the hurt we all feel without being "mean-spirited". Thank you!

[Jean dbsqueen]

Dear former dealer,
You probably haven't seen the post "a letter to sandy and lenny" and many, many others that are so mean and hurtful. I was so surprised to find out that so many dealers thought we were stupid, incompetent and rude with archaic attitudes and policies. We tried to do the best we could and unfortunately it wasn't good enough. I absolutely loved working with all the dealers even when I was in a crappy mood (after 13 years it happens) and I took it out on them, they seemed to accept me good or bad. Every post about us at the service center looks like a personal attack and it really hurts. I know feelings are raw right now and everyone was hurt emotionaly and financially. I guess it's better that we didn't know how everyone really felt. We are all grieving the loss of this company and I am proud to say I was part of a great team and so sorry that things turned out so
S%#tty. You will all be remembered fondly.

A lost soul
Jean dbsqueen

[Formerdealer]

Jean,
You were always incredibly helpful, and I enjoyed working with you. I just read all those postings, and yes, some were mean. You know you were "the nice one" they referred to, don't you? I will truly miss you! Now that they mention it, the service center was antiquated, but it never bothered me much. Until recently, I always got pretty quick answers and everyone was helpful. Now I know why that stopped.

Yes, feelings have been hurt, and emotions are running wild this week. I have no idea what I will do now, but I did enjoy DBS, and I can't believe it's gone. I wish no one had to lose anything, though. The poor brides, the poor dealers, the poor employees. I'm sure Sandy and Lenny have their problems, but somehow I believe they will be just fine when the dust settles. My poor husband, who is worried about our finances in all this mess.

I wish you the best. Let me know if you need any references for your next job!

[JoAnne Schnepp]

As stated, there are many sides to the story. It very well may be that Sandy and Lenny HAD to take certain actions based on attorney advice. It's just a thought. There may be things we don't know.
But I do know that my bride ordered and paid for her gown in April and I paid DBS in April and the PO # was sent back to me, BUT when I called Demetrios, I was told that DBS had not paid for that gown either. I also, was of the impression that we all paid upfront,and that when the PO came back the gown was ordered and paid for and guarenteed to be delivered on time. There's also the matter of two months of commissions not paid to dealers either, and apparently some dealers asking questions and being told there were 'no problems'.
IF we were one big happy family and net profits were slipping, we might have been consulted as a group to offer suggestions that might streamline operations or improve the bottom line. Lots of us had working experiences in other industries and could have offered some good ideas. But, Jean, most of what I read about the Service Center, was only negative towards ONE individual person...and professionally un named. I too, had bad conversations a few times with one person...and certainly NOT you!! The other comments had to do either with things changing recently...perhaps it now appears, due to stress on the parts of those working there...as all this was coming down...it appears that you knew stuff before we did and were trying to deal with it all. Or the other comments just had to do with what appeared at times to be an antiquated way of doing things...but that's not directed at the staff there, but rather the methods that were in place.

Personally, when I read things about all the houses owned by Sandy and Lennie, or the vacations or the retirement home in Florida etc...I just let that blow over my head. I didn't know them personally and it seems clear to me that people can be having good years and accumulate assets and live one way, and then they can have bad years and struggle to maintain it all, but it doesn't mean they were doing anything evil because they had 'stuff' I didn't have.

I always was a little irritated at the commission structure that left me with so little when I had gone through the expense of gaining the customer, and a lot of them never bought anything but the gown, so the fact that I offered other items didn't help my bottom line a lot.

I never complained about that as a dealer and never mentioned it until now when it's over. I am frustrated but I am sure not nearly as frustrated as the owners of a 20 year old business must be or all the employees of DBS who are out of jobs too. It is very sad it has all come to this but NOW, the only job we have is to get these poor brides taken care of the best way any of us can.

[Lori former DBS dealer]

Hey Jean! SOOOOO glad to see you are alive and well on these posts. Today is the first chance I have had a moment to hop on the message boards myself. Every waking moment in this living Hell has been spent helping my desperate brides, and I have a very large volume of DBS gown orders to help them resolve.

Jean, along with the other gals at the Service Center and I had hundreds of phone calls back and forth during my 7 years as a DBS dealer....Jean and I even recognized each other's voices before announcing who was calling! NEVER, NEVER did I feel you or any other Service Center staff was incompetent or rude. Life within the bridal industry is fast-paced and stressful, working with brides and their mothers at the most emotionally-charged time of their lives takes enormous patience, and we (dealers and DBS)all felt these strains from time to time. If you or anyone at the Service Center came across as less than your usual cheery selves, I knew it was a typical high-stress moment that we have all shared.

[You must be joking]

Jean is great. No dispute there. But how can you say that none of the SC staff was rude? I have some emails -- probably all from the same individual -- that would make your hair stand on end.

[Real Bridal Shop Owner]

Mr. Fields,

I must reply on this site and hopefuly set somethings straight. My wife and I have been a "mom & pop" bridal retailer for 17 years. We have 2 simple rules - "Treat your customers as you would like to be treated" and "Take care of your customer TODAY or somebody else will tommorow". By living by those two simple rules, we have had a successful business. We are not the Trumps but we are living the american dream - Working hard and owning our own business.

We got into the business because we ourselves got married. Both myself and my wife came from different jobs but we thought that there had to be a better way of planning a wedding. It wasnt just the prices but the overall planning of the wedding. So we decided that we would venture into the bridal busines, using our experieces from our previous jobs and adding that into our new store but with more. Shops in our area didnt offer the services that we do now - Gowns,shoes, jewelry, invitations, alterations, favors, all wedding accessories, tuxedos - everthing needed for the wedding. The main thing we give every customer is personall servive. We know every bride's first name. We treat them like family. We feel that's our formula for success.
We also can find our brides travel agents, florist, entertainment, resturaunts, limos, jewelers, hair stylist, even doves & buterflies. And we have been doing this for 17 years. Now we dont carry every bridal gown or designer and not ever bride buys their gown from us, but we treat every bride the same. Even today, we are trying to help every bride who has bought through DBS. Now we can not match the DBS price, but we try to do the very best for them. To make 10 or 25 dollars a gown is is why Martins is closed today.

As far as the bridal indusry goes, to be an authorized retailer, we have buy samples from each designer, 2 times a year. We carry over 50 different lines from bridal, BM, FG MOB. With each desinger you have to purchase about 12 bridal gowns, twice a year along with BM, FG, MOB etc. So as an average, we spend anywhere from $3000.00 to $10,000.00 per designer - twice a year for the new styles or season. Do the math. No add in all the other itmes needed - shoes jewelry, veils, headpiece, slips, bras, etc. Then you have to pay rent, taxes, utilies, advertising, payroll (if you a busy enough to afford employess), insurance, etc. But we knew this going into business. I even thought of being a DBS dealer, but after reading into them, I was concerned that I would not have direct contact with the deisgners. Meaning I was solely depending on DBS/Martins, which scared me. So we started with a couple of bridal lines, then added some more lines and went from there. It was a struggle at the beginning but we are still here, thank God after 17 years. Even today, we still worry about every gown order. Just last month, Bridal Originals, after 58 years in the business, decided to close. But the difference was that they sent us a letter on 6/14/2005,informing us that they would not be accepting anymore new orders after 6/24/2005 and that all orders would be completed by 9/15/2005. That's the way to do it. We will miss this compnay and we applaud them on how they are handling a very sad situation for the owners of this US bridal designer.

So Martin's comes up with this buiness plan and on paper it sounds great. "If Avon can do it , why not us". But in the bridal industry, "trans-shipping"- one authorized dealer selling to an unauthorized seller - is prohibited by just about all designers. This rule was in place BEFORE DBS was born. Martins new this but did it anyway. As far as the designers go, many knew what Martin's was doing and did nothing to stop them. I aggree, the designers are partially to blame for DBS beginning. They saw extra sales coming in and turned a blind eye to it. Some designers like Bridal Originals, stop doing buiness with Martiin's in 1997 because of DBS. But then internet came along. This was a way for FSBS to combat against DBS. Offer discounts on gowns that they WERE authorized to sell. No middleman. Now the designers have two problems - DBS and the internet. Over the past 5 years, designers have been pulling lines from Martins with the latest being Alfred Angelo and Maggie Sottero. Two major bridal designers that they can no longer offer to their DBS dealers. That hurt them. They are DBS dealers who have struck a busniess agreements with FSBS to buy some designers from them. The way this worked was the bridal shop, authorized dealers would sell the gowns to the DBS dealers, adding 15-20% onto the wholesale price plus the shipping. Sometimes this was a better deal that what DBS offered. But again, the DBS dealers were relying on a middleman and not directly working with the deigners. Many bridal shops closed and again left these DBS dealers out in the cold. Now the designers are prohibting prices of gowns on the internet and the sales of gown on the internet. Many designers are now instituting MSRP - Manufacturer Suggested Retail Price- Just like Sony does for their PS2. And we the retailers have no other choice to abid by these rules or lose this designer.

So now we have the problem today. Martin's Bridal closes, closing its retail stores and DBS, leaving all DSB dealers left to handle brides and their orders. And you have the people here, Mr. & Mrs. Fields, blaming the full service bridal shops and the deisgners. Let me tell you something Mr. Fields, and I am sure that just about every bridal shop owner in the U.S. will agree with me when I say - We feel for every bride today who is having a problem receiving their gowns. We hope that EVERY bride receives their gown that they choose and paid for in time for their wedding. But for Mr. Fields to demand that FSBS offer gowns at cost is ridiculus! Mr. Fields, are you selling your books at cost? Are you making a profit on your books? Of course you are. You sell your bridal book for $14.95. Seems fair. But do you tell your customers when they order your bridal book that your wholesale cost of $7.98! Of course not. You are in business to make a profit, just like us and the DBS dealers. We also feel bad for the DBS dealers who now have to pay the desingers AGAIN for the order so that their customers can receive their gowns. How is this fair to these people? It's not. And we feel for them because we as FSBS could be in the same situation if a designer decides to close down with no notice like Martin's.

So in closing, we hope every bride receives the gown of their dreams. Contact your DBS dealer, who I know will do everything humanly possible to help you. If they cant help you, please know that many FS Bridal Shops will help you the very best they can.

As far as Mr. Fields, I hope you change your attitude towards the FSBS as we are not the enemy. You attacks against us is unethical may maybe illegal. I noticed that you changed you posts regarding all the designers. You have done a diservice to all involved causing fear and panic when its not needed. Granted, many DBS dealers and DBS customers had no idea on what was going on and your post informed them but to say "Dont give the bridal shops the biz" is wrong!Plain and simple and it may come back to bite you!!

Again to all brides, we wish you all years of happiness and hope that you get to wear the gown of your dreams and please know that we the retail bridal shops are professionals and are willing a ready to help you on one of the most important day of your lives!

A U.S. full service bridal shop owner

[Lori former DBS dealer]

Then I will consider myself fortunate.

[fussenk]

I was taken on as a new dealer on JUNE 10!!! They didn't know then that they were just going to take my money?

[Lori former DBS dealer]

I think you misunderstood my response--the gals at the Service Center were usually friendly and professional in getting the job done quickly.

I will agree with you on being offended at times but for me it would be related to the content of many letters and e-mails that came thru the Corporate Office. I took offense many times at the punishing manner they were written aimed at ALL dealers, not just the ones who had incorrectly handled a situation. It was never quite clear who actually wrote the e-mails, but they came through the Arizona office before going to all dealers. The recent message regarding Mon Cheri, for example, was blatantly screaming at ALL dealers in bold capital letters, threatening to terminate dealers, and treating us like children. Those types of letters were offensive and underminded the teamwork motivation we needed. But for the one-on-one contact I had with the gals in the service center, I cannot complain.

None of this is relevant anymore, but I did want to clarify my previous message.

[ajgilbert]

DBS should not have been signing new dealers on for seval months. I requested information on becoming a dealer in April. We have been in a financial bind for the past year so I couldn't afford to sign up at that time. I wrote an email to Kim Strauss on June 14 telling her that I was still interested and saving so I could go to a seminar. I thought it was odd that she didn't reply. I found out about the bankruptcy on July 18 when I sent an email to Ms. Strauss asking if locations of a couple of seminars had been decided, and I received a return email from the Fields'with the press release. Boy am I glad I didn't have the money to sign up in April!!!!

My husband and I recently had to file personal bankruptcy, and let me tell you, there's no way any person or business can't see it coming ahead of time. They should have communicated with dealers that things weren't going well and halted new orders. As one of the former dealers said, their dealers could have offered suggestions about how to change things. I'm sure the owners are devastated but they didn't handle this ethically and there's NO excuse for it.

[tirichte]

I bet you this Deb Gordon has said her peace and does not even look at these responses. Also this Jeanne DBS queen. You people stole from America and you can praise each other all you want but I hope to god you can't sleep at night. I know I couldn't when I opened by UPS box with my "gift" from DBS. The ugliest dress on the planet was delivered to me that day. I paid for this dress on June 15th. Why would you thieves accept payment and turn around and clean out a warehouse on us law abiding citizens? All we wanted was our dream dress when we are on a budget. Instead we are left with this mess and asking us to find a lawyer when we are on a budget. For shame on you Deb and your whole family. As far as I am concerned you are all liars and why should we belive any sympathy letter posted on a message board? Why doesn't your family do the right thing and SEND US ALL OUR MONEY BACK!! You guys try to work through your own problems and leave us out of it. I work and don't think that blood, sweat and tears don't go into my life. I can throw in that I have an autistic cousin if you like but it doesn't change the fact that your family stole our money. You and your family will get what is coming to you in the long run. What goes around, comes around thief.

[joannes]

I can well appreciate your feelings, but please do NOT include "Jeanne,DBS Queen" or any of the other ladies who WORKED FOR DBS in your negative statements. These other ladies were only employees. They lost their jobs, their income, and for most of them, work that they LOVED. They were the most helpful ladies to all us DBS dealers all over the country, and loved helping us get our brides their dream gowns! But they had nothing to do with the finances of the company, or how the money was collected or spent.

I am sure they feel just as sorry for every bride as each of us dealers do. I do NOT understand the rationale for sending brides dresses that they did not order....unless it is a legal way to avoid the bride being able to sue them....in that, if you accept and keep the goods sent to you, it is considered a 'comparable' delivery of the goods you paid for, so you don't have a legal complaint.

If you are not happy with the gown you got, I would pack it up with a letter explaining that you did not receive the gown you paid for, and return it to them, via their lawyers address, and then if I were you, I would make my case as part of the bankruptcy, if I could not afford a lawyer. Or perhaps a bunch of brides could get together via this forum, and pool their money and hire a lawyer to represent all of them together? Just my thoughts.