Cookie Magazine Article

[Pennylane]

In the February Issue there is an article entitled "The Pink Dress" on page 84. It is about a 4 year old boy that is really into pink clothes, dresses, etc. He parents have allowed him to have pink clothing that is not too feminine but now he decides that he wants to wear a dress to school. They are hesitant to allow him for the obvious reasons, but they let him make the decision that he is going to wear it to school and he does.

This article really bothered me. I am all for letting your child express him/her self but this just seems to me like they are setting him up to become an outcast.

Just curious to hear others thoughts.....

Ann

P.S I tried to find a link to the article but it does not appear to be on the website.

[aidansmommy]

No, I would not let my son where a dress to school. I think it's wonderful when little boys are into things that are considered more feminine i.e. playing kitchen, dolls, etc. It's harder for boys to cross over into interests that are typically more "girly", whereas girls are free to have tea parties, play with dinosaurs, wear frilly dresses or jeans and sneakers. However, sending a boy to school in a dress is absolutely setting him up to be teased and IMO that is wrong.
This reminds me of a 3rd grade student I had several years ago. He was 9 years old and his mother allowed him to bring into school things such as pink sponge rollers, jelly bracelets, glitter nail polish, etc. Now aside from being a huge distraction ("Devon, we're taking a spelling test right now, please take the curlers out of your hair"), he really could have been horribly made fun of. Luckily for him, I had a super sweet group of boys in my class that year and while this boy was certainly on the outside of the crowd, they were always polite and respectful towards him. He found another little girl in my class who was also a little left of center and the two of them were happy as clams all year. But obviously, had it been a different kind of class things could have been horrible for him.

[jenmcadams]

I was curious enough to go hunting and found a link to the article:

http://www.cookiemag.com/homefront/2008/01/pinkboys

While I understand wanting your child to fit in/have fun/not be an outcast, I applaud the parents for letting him wear it. I think they did a good job of preparing him for what could happen (being teased) and how he could handle it ...I loved his response to the teasing from the older kids ("Don't make fun of me! I can be a boy and wear a dress, because it is my choice!"). I only hope my kids will have strong enough personalities to carry off their choices if they fall outside the norms.

I definitely understand wanting to protect your child from being teased or feeling like an outcast, but I also think kids need to feel comfortable being themselves. I like to think that if they have strong enough personalities to go against societal norms and peer pressure and defend their choices now when the choices are relatively innocuous, they'll be less likely to succumb to peer pressure later when the consequences could be more severe.

[SnuggleBuggles]

He's 4- the other kids hopefully haven't been so programmed to treat him like an outcast for that choice.

One day in ds' 4yo class last year 3 of the 5 boys (ds included) were wearing skirts and girl dress up clothes . No one reacted negatively.

Odds are that this little guy will either outgrow it naturally or will face enough peer pressure when he's 5 that the dress will move to the back of the closet,

ETA- I wanted to say that the peer pressure thing on this really bugs me. My ds went through his pink phase and didn't consider that it wasn't a "natural" choice for a boy. No boy ever gave him flack for his pink back pack but so many girls did. Where do these girls get such hard core beliefs about that stuff? Just pick up societal cues? Or are they taught it at home? My ds has no problem w/ pink stuff regardless of what little girls have told him and I am glad for that. I like that he is making his own choice based on what he likes.

I have no problem w/ that family's decision.

Beth

[hellokitty]

It's so funny you mention this. A friend gifted us a cookie magazine subscription as a christmas gift and I just read it over the wknd. I read the article with interest. I actually thought it was really cool that the other parent called up the mom of the boy to ask if he preferred a dress. I also think it was good that the parents did not freak out about it. I dressed my brother up as a girl when he was a toddler, b/c I soooo wanted a little sis (and my mom refused to have more kids, and I got two stinkin' little brothers instead), and she threw a fit when she saw it. I thought that if anything, she would think it was funny. I think adults make too big a deal out of this stuff and then kids learn from the adults' reaction and pick up on that.

Just b/c he is going through a phase of liking dresses and liking pink, it doesn't mean he is going to be, *gasp* gay! Who knows, it could be a phase, or it may not be a phase. If it is a phase, it will be one of those, "remember when you used to like dresses..." family stories to laugh about. If it does turn out that their son turns out gay or just likes to wear female clothing, then I think that it's great that the parents' did not make him feel shameful or embarrassed about it and I think their son will grow up with a very healthy attitude about who he is and being proud of it.

I thought that schools these days were supposed to be promoting the acceptance of all different kinds of ppl? If kids end up making fun of a child for wearing a dress, then I think those kids (the ones poking fun) should be treated the same as a kids making fun of any another kid for being a different race/ethnicity or for wearing braces, etc., it should not be acceptable.

[MelissaTC]

I was curious enough to go hunting and found a link to the article:

http://www.cookiemag.com/homefront/2008/01/pinkboys

While I understand wanting your child to fit in/have fun/not be an outcast, I applaud the parents for letting him wear it. I think they did a good job of preparing him for what could happen (being teased) and how he could handle it ...I loved his response to the teasing from the older kids ("Don't make fun of me! I can be a boy and wear a dress, because it is my choice!"). I only hope my kids will have strong enough personalities to carry off their choices if they fall outside the norms.

I definitely understand wanting to protect your child from being teased or feeling like an outcast, but I also think kids need to feel comfortable being themselves. I like to think that if they have strong enough personalities to go against societal norms and peer pressure and defend their choices now when the choices are relatively innocuous, they'll be less likely to succumb to peer pressure later when the consequences could be more severe.

Nodding ITA.

[SnuggleBuggles]

If kids end up making fun of a child for wearing a dress, then I think those kids (the ones poking fun) should be treated the same as a kids making fun of any another kid for being a different race/ethnicity or for wearing braces, etc., it should not be acceptable.

Very good point.

Beth

[Radosti]

I guess, I have no idea. The right answer for me would be, we'll cross that bridge if we come to it. Right now it's laughable to picture DS in a dress. He's as boyish/masculine as they come. More so than I ever thought possible at that age. If it doesn't have wheels or tracks, don't bother bringing it in the house. His current favorite shirt is a cheapy thing from Target that MIL bought b/c it had monster trucks on it. He frequently announces he wants the "Truck shirt" and gets upset if it's in the laundry. He grabs on to a dog's behind (a la conga line) and announces that they are now a Choo Choo.

I just can't picture it.

[o_mom]

Well... DS has a pink butterfly wallet because his cousin has one. He just told me he wants pink swim goggles and if they aren't too much we will probably get some next time we are there.

I did override him wanting the pink Christmas PJs, but more for the pictures than anything else (I already had red ones for everyone else). Thinking back I wish I would have gotten both and let him wear the pink ones, we have enough cousins/friends to pass them on to so they wouldn't be a complete waste. If I ever get a free moment in the next week I may run down and see if they are on clearance.

[Corie]

No way would I send Knox off to school in a dress.

If he wants to carry dolls, push a baby stroller, wear sequins, etc. while playing at home or school or a friend's house, then that is great! Go for it!

But, to send him off to school wearing a dress, somehow crosses the line
for me.