Please stop giving me "friendly advice"

[trales]

We have had some food tolerance issues with DD, she is 9 months old and we started food around 6.5/ 7 months. Rice cereal went down like a champ, Oatmeal, Barley, Squash, apples caused horrible gas and cramps and screaming. We talked to doc, backed off, made our own food, took it slow and we can now eat, rice cereal, oatmeal (yes, big improvement), avacado and apples. We may be getting a rash from sweet potato (currently monitoring).

Family members, please don't tell me DD is going to have eating issues and not learn to swallow/ chew and have to go through years of physical therapy. She has 1 tooth bud, she is not physiologically ready to chew dammit. Don't tell me to force cheerios, my Dartmouth educated pedi told me to hold off on wheat till one year. Don't tell me a baby should be able to eat chicken nuggets by 18 months (WTF). Don't tell me she to feed her a lot of foods to get her tummy used to it. Don't tell me too much breast is bad and will lead to attachment/ social issues. She is only 9 months old. We are trying food, we have a plan, she is eating food, she is gaining weight slowly, but gaining. Leave me alone. If I want to BF until she is 21 that is my business and none of yours thank you very much.

Will you stop referring to the Dr. Sears book as that hippy experiment that will lead to an entire generation of pansies and kids with social issues. For f***s sake, the rest of the world is doing something right or we would not have evolved and there would not be children on other continents.

Thanks for listening. You (BBB members) can give me advice, I am asking for advice from you, since you are normal rational people with individual thought and not crazies standing on a pedestal demanding your opinion be implemented and when disagreed with saying "I'm hurt, why can't I give you an opinion, I am allowed an opinion, nobody in this family listens to me, why can't I talk." You are talking, I am listening, I just happen to (gasp) disagree with you, as I have a right to.

[ThreeofUs]

Sounds like you've got a GREAT plan to me. Good for you for hanging tough.

[elizabethkott]

Oh dear.
Poop on them.
I think you're doing EXACTLY what you should. Good for you!
Simply start saying, "I'm sorry. I missed the part where you pushed her out of YOUR vagina. As soon as you do, I'll start giving your "opinions" more consideration."
:)

[ha98ed14]

Ditto!

My MIL has lots of opinions about what DD *should* be eating at 7 months. "Uh-huh" is my standard response, and then I do what I want when she leaves.

Just remember:

You. Are. The. Mama.
The. End.

[tylersmama]

Simply start saying, "I'm sorry. I missed the part where you pushed her out of YOUR vagina. As soon as you do, I'll start giving your "opinions" more consideration."
:)

:ROTFLMAO: I think this is a *fantastic* idea!

[bubbaray]

Simply start saying, "I'm sorry. I missed the part where you pushed her out of YOUR vagina. As soon as you do, I'll start giving your "opinions" more consideration."



:yeahthat:

[Melanie]

Oh geez, I'm sorry! I found the "nod & smile" with a dose of "hmm, that's interesting. I'll think about that" went pretty far. But I like the other suggestion better.

[JoyNChrist]

I agree with Liz. Throwing the word "vagina" into the situation tends to end the conversation very quickly. :ROTFLMAO:

You're the mommy. And you're doing great. Ignore them. :hug:

[JTsMom]

Although I can't compete with the vagina line, I just wanted to send some support your way. I've dealt with the same type of family stuff (but not the food sensitivity part) when starting solids, and with pretty much all of the other issues you mentioned. I'm still bf'ing my 2.5 yr old. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah run for the hills!! LOL

It sounds to me like you have the situation under control, but since you said you were ok with advice from rational people... do you ever visit mothering.com? I know a lot of the moms over there are dealing with just this kind of thing, and do things along the lines of what you are doing now. They might be able to add to your knowledge, and at the very least, give you some suppport.

Best of luck!

[maestramommy]

Ditto!



Just remember:

You. Are. The. Mama.
The. End.

Yup. That.

[trales]

I needed that. I feel a lot better getting it out and having your support. We had a bad night last night, the sweet potatoes went down badly. Sigh.

I will check out the mothering.com site, I could use other peoples ideas and btdt. I sometimes feel like I am the only one going through this and it gets a little hard, frustrating and lonely.

On a happy note, she is sitting on the ground happily plucking hairs from the labs tail, he, of course, could get up and leave anytime he wants, but I think he likes the attention. He is a any attention is good attention type of guy.

[trentsmom]

That vagina quote is really funny! But there's no way I would be able to use it. DH told me that his late mother would say it was overkill to do things like hold off on peanut butter until age 3. I told DH, "Then I would have to tell her that she got to raise her kids the way she wanted to, and I am going to raise my child the way I want to."

[gatorsmom]

enough said.

[MamaMolly]

Yep, what all those good Mamas before me have said. We are dealing with food issues here and it isn't fun. DD's great Grandma is CONVINCED that my ped. is a quack because DD is on Soy milk (15+ mos), and that if anything, I should give her ....

wait for it.....


GOATS MILK AND BEER!!!!!!!!!

Sigh, sigh, sigh. One serious word of warning: when it comes to food, people have a nasty way of forcing the issue when visiting by going behind your back and giving DD things she shouldn't have. Be careful about this!

My mom is bad about 'accidentally forgetting' and giving DD milk/ dairy products, which requires a dose of Benedryl to follow. Or cooking with veggies with butter because she 'forgot' about DDs allergy. Luckily DD usually spits this stuff out, but if I have to watch her bat her eyes wide and say "oh, I forgot" in her fake-y lost little girl voice one more time I will poke out said eyeballs! Needless to say I don't leave DD alone with her and I watch her like a hawk when she is around. I honestly don't think she means to harm DD, she doesn't bother to think about what she is doing.

Good luck and watch them carefully!

[DrSally]

I love your plan. Sounds like she is eating a lot, actually. Why are people so obsessed with solids? I feel your frustration!!

[tnrnchick74]

I have a baby nephew who is now 14 months. My SIL started calling me around 6 months asking about when she should give him solids & what types (I LOVE being the only nurse in the family!!!). I ALWAYS asked what her Ped told her. I ALWAYS sided with what the Ped told her (even if I didn't 100% agree totally) and if I said anything other than what the Ped said I have solid evidence to back it up.

Nephew ended up having HORRIBLE problems with foods and protein intolerances. I can only imagine what hell I would have caused had I gone against what her Ped told her and confused the issues even more.

My point is that the Ped is the one who sees your child as a medical professional the most. He/she & you need to develop a plan and as a team make any variances. Every baby is different and every baby's needs are different. what works for 1 might not work for another.

Now, had the Ped been giving DANGEROUS advice (like nuts and honey too early) then I WOULD have provided solid proof and recommended my SIL get a new Ped. But giving one food over another and trying things in a specific pattern...as well as waiting for certain things...that's pretty subjective to the MD, baby, and situation.

HUGS!!!

[GlindaGoodWitch]

Doncha love it how everyone loves to tell you how "you're doing it wrong"? And then when you dare try to explain yourself, I always get (from my mil) - "Well I managed to raise 5 children without killing of them!" To be fair, my mom will just keep sighing and raising her eyebrows until I say "what? WHAT?"

Whatever.


Yep, what all those good Mamas before me have said. We are dealing with food issues here and it isn't fun. DD's great Grandma is CONVINCED that my ped. is a quack because DD is on Soy milk (15+ mos), and that if anything, I should give her ....

wait for it.....


GOATS MILK AND BEER!!!!!!!!!

Ahahahahaa!!! This totally reminded me of a clip I saw on Live with Regis & Kelly which I normally never watch. She was hosting with her husband that day and was telling the story of how her MIL was visiting and decided out of nowhere and on her own that her 1st born grandkid needed to be introduced to solid foods. She came home to find MIL feeding DC, not rice cereal or #1 bananas, but pureed CALAMARI FRA DIAVOLO.

Hope you have luck ignoring everyone that feels they know more than you do about your own child.