Thinking ahead...co-sleeping with 2 DC?

[sarahsthreads]

I have lots and lots of questions and concerns with DC#2 on the way. One thing I'm wondering about is co-sleeping. We did it from halfway through the first night home with DD until she started going to bed before we did, then we'd put her to bed in her crib until her first wakeup, and then she just eventually slept through the night in her crib sometime around 8-ish months.

Now that she's older, in a bed, and has freedom to roam at night, she will come into our room at some point probably 5 nights out of 7, and just sandwich herself in bed with us. We have not discouraged this, because, well, we like our sleep. ;)

But, if we're co-sleeping with a newborn (and again, I like my sleep and that's how I managed to get the most when DD was tiny), that's not going to work so well. We have a queen-sized bed and really no space in our room to upgrade to a king, and I'm not even sure that would help anyway. (Plus it would be very, very expensive to replace all the sheets and bedding we already have!) And I don't want DD to feel like the new baby's here so she's kicked out of the big bed, kwim? Would a co-sleeper be a good solution for this?

Or should I just be starting to discourage DD from coming into our room at all starting now so she doesn't associate it with the baby? And how, exactly, does one do that? I mean, without making it completely traumatic, because I have to admit I really don't mind her joining us in our bed, and I think I would have a hard time discouraging it if it really upset her.

Thanks,
Sarah :)

[JoyNChrist]

My first thought was an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper. I don't have two, but that seems like it would work in your situation. Hopefully some more experienced mamas will chime in.

[brittone2]

We coslept w/ two kids when DD was a newborn. We upgraded to a King bed during my pg'cy though in anticipation of that situation.

DD went in the middle, and DS on one side of DH or me.

I think it helped DS to not feel displaced by his new sister. He ended up transitioning to his own room when he was about 3.5, and he was ready at that point so it was easy on everyone.

If I was short on space I'd look into a cosleeper, or consider making your older child a little "nest" on the floor and see if she'd be content w/ that.

[writermama]

We did it with a co-sleeper and upgrading to a king bed (mattress from ikea, frame somewhere cheap, sheets on sale at marshalls and ross). We needed the upgrade before the baby, when I was very pregnant, because DD#1 takes up a lot of bed real estate even though she's small.

I'd also recommend trying a nest on the floor for the oldest -- a twin mattress or even a crib mattress on the floor next to the bed could work. We've done that, too.

At one point, when paint fumes forced us out of our bedroom, we camped out in DDs room with a queen mattress and a twin mattress on the floor. It was actually quite cozy and no worries about anyone rolling out of bed.

[dr mom]

DS still co-sleeps with us, and Bean's arrival is not far off, so this is something I've given a lot of thought to. Before I was pregnant, DH and I slept in the Queen bed, and I put a twin mattress on the floor for DS...he'd start the night there, but often crawl into bed with us. That worked well, until I got pregnant...and developed hyperemesis. The slightest movement was enough to set off hours of vomiting. :sick: So I moved to the mattress on the floor, and DS joined DH in bed, where he remains to this day, enjoying MY spot on the heated duvet pillowtop, while I'm still sleeping on the discount twin mattress on the floor, LOL!

Honestly, I think I'm going to stay on the twin mattress for while longer - I definitely sleep better by myself right now, with ten pillows piled up all around me to support my enormous belly. And when DC#2 arrives, I won't have to worry about having two kids co-sleeping together - I'll have the baby with me, and DS with DH. DS won't be losing "his" spot in bed, and I'll be able to relax knowing that he won't be hopping into bed with me and accidentally squashing his new sibling.

Once the baby is a little older, I may reclaim my spot in the "Big Bed" but for now we're all in one room and it works for us...so although it probably sounds a little weird...that's how we've worked it out. (And not that you asked, but DH and I find other places in the house for our *ahem* adult time...we haven't DTD in OUR bed in ages.)

[sarahsthreads]

We needed the upgrade before the baby, when I was very pregnant, because DD#1 takes up a lot of bed real estate even though she's small.

Heh. Yeah, my DD prefers to sleep sideways, with her head somewhere on or near DH and her feet digging into my side. (That part started before she was even born!) I'm a little worried about when I'm a lot more pregnant, because I can't see how we're all going to fit, but we'll see. The other night DH and I were apparently sleeping so soundly we didn't even move over in our sleep when she crawled in, so she slept halfway down the bed all curled up like a puppy. She said the next morning, "Mommy, you and Daddy wouldn't move over, so I had to sleep down here." Oh, the guilt. ;) (Before anyone worries, neither of us were even remotely sound sleepers with a newborn in the bed!)

Anyway, thanks all for the responses. It sounds like, since DH is dead set against the king bed idea for both space and money issues, a co-sleeper may be our best bet. Failing that, we do have an extra twin mattress I could put on the floor for DD or myself with DC#2.

Can I ask, though, for those who have the co-sleeper, how hard does it make it to get out of bed? I had a c-section last time, and as much as I want to try for a VBAC there's always a chance I'll have another, and I had a really hard time getting in and out of bed for at least the first three weeks. If the co-sleeper is attached...I basically would have to crawl down to the end of the bed to get out? Or am I missing something?

Sarah :)

[writermama]

Can I ask, though, for those who have the co-sleeper, how hard does it make it to get out of bed?
<SNIP>
If the co-sleeper is attached...I basically would have to crawl down to the end of the bed to get out? Or am I missing something?


Yeah, that sounds about right. I mastered a "slide down, roll feet out, veeery quietly and slowly roll out of bed" maneuver with my co-sleeper. I didn't have a C, though.

I know moms who had Cs and raved about the cosleeper. I even loaned mine to SIL for her planned C with #2. She liked it, but I never got a report on how she got out of bed with it.

Maybe a mini? It wouldn't last as long before being outgrown, but it might be easier to get around.

[gatorsmom]

I just had my third c-section so have had a few opportunities to see what works for me. The thing I complained about most after my second c-section was having the co-sleeper directly up against the bed. It was hard getting out of bed around it. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and being sweaty (remember how much you sweat in those first few days eliminating all that extra fluid?) and my incision stinging from the sweat as I was trying ungracefully to crawl out of bed. Sorry if that was too graphic.

Anyway, this last time I had a c-section, I put the cosleeper about 2 feet from the bed so that I could easily swing my legs down to get out of bed. The nice thing about a co-sleeper though is that with the side down, you can still see if the baby is starting to stir. The side on a pack and play is too high and you have to sit up to see if the baby is moving (I'm referring to a baby in the bassinet feature of a pack and play). On a regular size co-sleeper (I don't know about the mini but I assume they are the same- just different sizes), the side doesn't go down completely but leaves a 5 inch lip so there is still a "side" but just not as high as the other sides- does that make sense? Having the co-sleeper close but unattached has worked really well this time. I wish I would have done it last time. BTW, I bought my co-sleeper used off ebay for $45. It came in great condition.

As for the co-sleeping thing with toddlers, can you have your DC sleep at your feet? When my 4 and 2 year old come in the morning I turn the TV on right away and they just sit down there and watch TV. That way, they dont' come up by my head where the babies are.

I think you do, however, have to start working now on co-sleeping arrangements for when the baby comes. If you want to nurse the baby in bed while you doze, you don't want to worry about DC coming in and inadvertantly crawling on top of baby in the middle of the night. We started working on the 4 and 2 yr olds coming into our bed only in the morning several months before I gave birth so as not to create any jealous feelings.

GL and I HTH!