Support and advice needed

[Jacksmommy2b]

We are going on Wednesday to have J's cavities filled and a tooth pulled. They are going to sedate him. (with some liquid that will knock him out)

I am sick over all of this. He started with three small cavities around thanksgiving and after brushing 2x a day and stopping sugary things (not that he really got much to begin with) we are now at the point where they are concerned if the cavities don't get filled he'll need caps.

We think he has an enamel deficiency.

I am using xylitol stuff now but it isn't helping quickly enough to save the teeth with existing problems.

We went to the dentist last wednesday where they decided to not even try the gas b/c he got so worked up being on the papoose board. ( I ended up just as hysterical as he was) They were not fond of the idea of me holding him and after me getting as upset as I did, that is not even a posibility now.

He (okay, so am I) is still getting over the trauma of his hospital stay:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=811388

I believe what the dentist is telling us about his teeth. I know they do occasionally cause him pain and the very bad tooth is very obviously very bad. (there is also concern that if left untreated the tooth could develop a dangerous abcess)

But, I think they are going to have to sedate me too to get through it.

The only other option is general anesthisa (SP) That is my (unreasonable) first choice to spare him any more trauma, but we have no dental insurance and I would be very uneasy with it after all his breathing problems.

I just feel so stuck. I really believe having the tooth pulled and the others fixed is the best thing for him but I can't bear the thought of my poor baby going through any more suffering. Please tell me I am doing the right thing.

Also, which is worse? Having an equally hysterical mother sitting with him during the work or having a much clamer dad sitting with him and no mom?

(I am panicked about making this worse for him. Either by not being there to hold his hand or by getting so worked up I'll be edging him on even more.)

Of course there is always the chance that he'll be so sedated that it will be easy, but that is not usually the way it works for us.

Please help. I don't think I can do this again. Not after the hospital. Is he going to stop trusting me? trusting everyone?

Anyone?

[lizajane]

oh mama, i am so sorry. i have terrible dental problems and i just truly feel his pain.

1) you have to do this. i have had THREE absesses this year. THREE. you would think i was homeless and had no access to dental care. i brush everyday. i have regular care. i DO like sugar, yes, but still!! THREE??? it hurts like (**#$(*&#% crazy. please take care of all this now.

2) you need to send him with daddy. you need to stay home. i know it is SO hard. but you can't be hysterical and expect him to be calm. it just won't happen. and have a friend over to wait with you!!!

:hug:

[klwa]

Hugs, honey. I have to agree that it's probably better to send a calm dad if it's going to have you so worked up. Remember, he'll be fast asleep for the whole thing, and it'll hurt less when he wakes up than it did before. Just be waiting at home with some jello as a treat for him.