DS It's Time For You to PT!!!!!!--A B..ch and a question

[HIU8]

DS is 3 yrs and 2 months. He is physically ready to PT (tells me he is going/has gone in his diaper, asks to be changed, stays dry for several hours at a time, etc...). However, he will not sit on the potty at all. So, emotionally he just isn't there. HOWEVER, I AM SO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want to change another poop stuck to him that stinks like crazy!! How do I encourage DS to try the potty? Do I do anything or just wait it out? I am so over diapers with him at this point.

Thanks,

[SummerBaby]

I have totally BTDT. DD trained at exactly 3 years 2 months (this past Sept). She flat out refused to use the potty and told me she only wanted her diaper. I lost a $100 preschool deposit because she wasn't PT by Sept 1. She would actually walk around and tell everyone that she loved her diapers. I seriously wanted to throw myself out a window. I finally completely stopped talking about it for about 2 weeks. Then one morning I sat her down and told her that today, and every day she would be wearing underwear because 3 year olds don't wear diapers. We had one day of accidents and then she was fine. I think what also motivated her was telling her that if she did PT she could go to school and play with toys and other kids. Have you tried just going to underwear? Is there anything he really wants? I usually dont bribe, but I would have bought DD a Cadillac if it made her PT! :)

As for the poop, I thought PT would help, but unfortunately you will still be stuck wiping poop for a while. I actually think it's easier to change a poopy diaper (at least they lay down) than to try to wipe an antsy 3 year old who is trying to jump up and down as you wipe.

I hope something works for you!

Val
DD 7/04
DD 7/07

[niccig]

WAIT IT OUT!

Trust me. You don't want a battle over the potty. You don't want to be forcing him on to the potty, to have him not go and then 5 mins later poo in his pants. Then you have to extricate him from the pooey underpants mess - at least diapers keep it contained, underpants have bigger leg holes. Way more mess than you would like, especially if he's walking to the toilet - sorry way too much info.

I know waiting isn't fun, I too tried earlier with DS, but it was very very frustrating. I backed off, and then one day he woke up and decided he would wear underpants and a button shirt and go to work like Daddy. I bought a ton of button shirts and underpants and we haven't looked back. Sure, we had accidents and still do occasionally. But on the whole, it was so much easier to go with what he was wanting to do. Just wait.

Oh, and have you tried naked training. You let them run around the house naked, it was easier for my DS and he got it within one or two days. But he refused to wear underwear, so he was naked trained for a few months but refused to wear underpants - very frustrating as I knew he could do it. Then like I said before, one day he just decided he was ready.

ETA for the wiping when he's PTed, I get DS to bend over and put his hands on the ground if at home, or hold on to my legs if out and about. Not a pleasant sight, but much easier to clean up.

[dotgirl]

I have to say - I was at wit's end with DS. He was 3 years 9 months, and had been peeing in the potty for 6 months, but refused to poo. And then one day, he put on underwear, and refused to go back to pullups. He's had 2 accidents in that time - one was the very next day on a plane ride (yes, he picked a bad time to decide to train!) and once was when he just waited too long to go. Other than that, he's been fully trained for 5 months now.

It was really hard, but I honestly think they do know when they're ready.

[SnuggleBuggles]

AFter my ordeal with potty training I am a firm believer in not pushing it! I think that thwhen they are ready that they will do it. If you try and are met with resistance then back off because you are about to enter a battle where there will be no happy winners. Wait till he is emotionally ready to do it. There really shouldn't be a rush. I actually wrote preschools off my list that required pt'ing by X age because I took that as a cue that they weren't a "developmental" based preschool. Saved a lot of stress not to have a deadline.

Some kids are easy going about it and can be bribed or whatever. If you try things like that and are still met with resistance then walk away. He will get it. We tried all sorts of rewards, bribes and incentives but they didn't work till he was ready.

It was our wise pediatrician that helped me on this. He reminded me that girls often got this skill earlier than boys and that it is *normal* for a boy not to be pt'ed till they are 4. So, I made by goal his 4th b-day and he beat that deadline by 2 months. :)

I have decided to just roll with it with this new little guy. It'll all work out. I am so not going to enter another battle on this issue. I'd rather change diapers. :)

Beth

Beth

[kedss]

I agree, I would wait it out- when he's ready it will happen. But, in the meantime, you might try taking him out and buying some underwear that he picks out, at least the first few pairs.

If he loves stickers, you might make a sticker chart for other things, then add times he's tried to sit on the potty, and times he's peed in the potty.

But for now, maybe let it go for a few days. :)

[charleneand2]

My twin boys were resisting and acted not interested. They even peed on the floor etc. Then one day I told them that we were going to the store and they could each pick out their own underwear and we were just going to use them from now on. The next day I went full time in the "special" undies and said we just don't have diapers anymore. (we call the night time ones sleeping pull ups). I was so shocked to see that we only had about 2 accidents each and they were trained right away. They were 3 years and 2 months as well.

I know it is not for everyone and you don't want to battle. But I really think that if they think there is a choice to go use diapers or pull ups they just will. I just said we didn't have any in the house.

Good luck and this too will pass :)
Charlene

[khm]

I think that thwhen they are ready that they will do it. If you try and are met with resistance then back off because you are about to enter a battle where there will be no happy winners.

This. A thousand times this.

My nephews both chose the "I WILL beat the parents at potty training battle." It was uuuuuugly. Truly ugly. With the first they thought it a fluke, with the second they realized it was a battle they just shouldn't have waged.

Both boys were trained perfectly at preschool, but NOT at home. The parents are very goal-oriented, busy, let's beat the curve type people and both boys apparently picked up on this and therefore choose potty training as an epic battle. It wasn't until the parents just utterly gave up for a minimum of a month and ignored PT totally that the boys finally came around. By this time, they were each nearing 4 and the battle had waged for a year.

I FEEL your pain. My little guy is capable, but he hates all feedback on the process. He doesn't want treats, fanfare or feedback (positive or negative). He has a fancy toy waiting for when he goes poop on the potty 5 times in a row. He does.not.care.

He HATES the whole topic at this point. All I can do is go along and hope he just decides one day that he's ready.

[Aunt to sweet baby boy]

We tried somewhat with Avi before it "took". Underwear did not work with him but he loves Popsicles. We bought a box of Otter pops and every time avi made pee in the toilet he would get a half a Popsicle, and if he made poop he got a whole Popsicle. It only took a few days of these treats before he was totally trained, he only had two accidents during the first week and has been totally dry since. This was in the beginning of December, a month and a half ago.

If you do not want to give food as a reward I would make a sticker chart, and every time he goes pee/poop he gets a sticker. When he gets 5 stickers he can go out with you to the bookstore/ice cream/whatever he likes. I think that the parents need to be firmly committed to PT, and say that he is wearing underwear and when he has an accident just clean it up. Don't make a big deal about accidents, they happen, change and go on with the day.

Another thing the day care woman had us do with him was only put him in sweatpants, or pants that he can take on/off by himself.

Good luck!!

[gatorsmom]

Tell him "pee and poop in the toilet= m&ms." very good incentive.

[jenmcadams]

Just wanted to echo the other posters...sometimes you just have to wait it out. My DD was able to pee in the potty and not have accidents by 2 yrs 9 months, but didn't poop in the potty until...................(drum roll please)....................... 4yrs 5 months. That's right almost 20 months later. She would ask for a pull-up when she needed to poop and would refuse to try on the potty. We offered everything as an incentive -- candy, toys, etc. Finally, we told her she could get a scooter when she finally pooped on the potty...still didn't seem to help. Luckily, our preschool didn't have a potty training requirement b/c she never would have made it. One day she just went in and went poop on the potty during naptime at school (and yelled "I did it...I'm getting a scooter" and woke half the class up :)) and after that she always pooped on the potty. I'm ashamed to say we did try pushing it a few times and it probably prolonged the agony for all of us, but just like everyone said, she did it when she was ready.

Sorry for the hassle on your end...I have a 2 1/2 year old who seems destined to be in diapers for life and I am so tired of the poopy diapers

[kransden]

My friend's child was super stubborn about pting. What finally worked for him was that his big sister got to go to vacation bible school and because he wasn't pted he had to stay home. He then decided that he would pt.

[JMarie]

Tell him "pee and poop in the toilet= m&ms." very good incentive.
Not when he's too smart for his own good, and will squeeze just a couple drops at a time until he gets the whole package. He'd have downed an entire pound of m&m's if we'd stuck to it. TBH, I'm leary of using food as a reward.

We use reward charts a lot with DS and it worked really well with PTing. He was almost 100% day PT'd by 3y7m, though even today we still have an accident now and again, and we're not near night PTing yet. DS's ped assures us that night training, especially with boys, can happen really late at times. Her biggest advice is not to push it. Any of it. DS gets stickers on the mornings he's dry (very rare) and every night where he has no accidents that day (almost every day). It's a lot of work doing multiple charts, but well worth the effort in the end.

[JMarie]

My friend's child was super stubborn about pting. What finally worked for him was that his big sister got to go to vacation bible school and because he wasn't pted he had to stay home. He then decided that he would pt.
LOL, my mother told me what got my brother PT'd was that I started using the toilet. He was 20 months older and sure as heck wasn't going to let his baby sister be trained before him!