Need creative solutions for PT issue

[kristenk]

I've posted before about potty learning issues and I've even posted about this particular situation, before. I have a request for creative ideas.

Here's the situation:
DD won't poop on the potty. We've tried all sorts of things (including just waiting it out), but I think I've finally figured out the problem.

Last year, she had a particularly painful poop and so she started holding her stool. That problem is pretty well managed, now, but when she was stool holding, she'd end up pooping in her diaper while standing up with her legs crossed.

Now that it's time to deal with the potty (she's been peeing in the potty for a long time now and wears panties except for when she needs to poop), she's terrified of sitting to poop. I really don't think it's a control issue. I think that she's gotten used to pooping while standing up with her legs crossed and can't combine that behavior and the potty.

What I'm looking for:
I'd like to take things step by step with DD. I need to figure out some steps to transition from standing up with legs crossed to pooping on the potty. Does that make sense?

I think we're starting with poop while standing with legs NOT crossed as the first step, but I don't know where to go from there.

Uh, help?

[Twoboos]

First of all, let me say poop issues are the WORST!!! I think I had responded to your previous post and said my DD (also 4) was going well now on the potty. HA! Spoke too soon there, major regression last week. It is so frustrating, I am sure I am going to lose my mind when we have an episode.

Here's a random list of ideas... some I have done, some I have heard of, some I am making up now.

- Progressive prizes for pooping IN the bathroom; without legs crossed; sitting down; sitting near potty; sitting ON potty w/dipe; sitting on potty w/dipe w/hole in it to let poop out; for going on potty

- Sitting on potty to "practice" around times she would normally go, maybe something will fall out

- Hang prizes or pics of prizes in bathroom for viewing/incentive

- What will motivate - stickers/dollar store prizes/clothing (dd wanted princess nightgowns SO badly, those got a couple out...)/ movies/etc.

- Have a person of "authority" talk to her about it (dr/teacher/other type person)

- Take away all panties as panties are for girls who pee/poop on the potty. Use new panties as a bribe to go on potty

- Tell DD that she is making a decision where to poop, big girls poop on the potty and by going in dipe she is not a big girl. What "big girl" incentive is there for her?

- Keep her stool as soft as possible so it can slide out and she doesn't have to struggle (although this is probably more consitipation advice...)

- Tell her that you only have X dipes left, and when they're gone they're gone, time to go on potty. Y'know, because the dipes say on them "not for girls over the age of 4" so you can't buy more.

- HOld her and talk softly when she's on there screaming and crying. (I don't mean hold her ON there, but hold to comfort.) I tell DD to squeeze me as tightly as she can when it hurts.

- Be prepared with panties you can easily toss if there is a big accident in them. I did not have the stamina to do poop loads every night, so I invested in like 30 pairs of cheapo undies (hanes/fruit of loom multipacks), and tossed as needed. Yes it was horribly wasteful but I was at the end of my rope and saved my sanity.

If I think of more I will add to this rambling list but good luck in the meantime.

[kristenk]

First of all, let me say poop issues are the WORST!!! I think I had responded to your previous post and said my DD (also 4) was going well now on the potty. HA! Spoke too soon there, major regression last week. It is so frustrating, I am sure I am going to lose my mind when we have an episode.

Here's a random list of ideas... some I have done, some I have heard of, some I am making up now.

- Progressive prizes for pooping IN the bathroom; without legs crossed; sitting down; sitting near potty; sitting ON potty w/dipe; sitting on potty w/dipe w/hole in it to let poop out; for going on potty

- Sitting on potty to "practice" around times she would normally go, maybe something will fall out

- Hang prizes or pics of prizes in bathroom for viewing/incentive

- What will motivate - stickers/dollar store prizes/clothing (dd wanted princess nightgowns SO badly, those got a couple out...)/ movies/etc.

- Have a person of "authority" talk to her about it (dr/teacher/other type person)

- Take away all panties as panties are for girls who pee/poop on the potty. Use new panties as a bribe to go on potty

- Tell DD that she is making a decision where to poop, big girls poop on the potty and by going in dipe she is not a big girl. What "big girl" incentive is there for her?

- Keep her stool as soft as possible so it can slide out and she doesn't have to struggle (although this is probably more consitipation advice...)

- Tell her that you only have X dipes left, and when they're gone they're gone, time to go on potty. Y'know, because the dipes say on them "not for girls over the age of 4" so you can't buy more.

- HOld her and talk softly when she's on there screaming and crying. (I don't mean hold her ON there, but hold to comfort.) I tell DD to squeeze me as tightly as she can when it hurts.

- Be prepared with panties you can easily toss if there is a big accident in them. I did not have the stamina to do poop loads every night, so I invested in like 30 pairs of cheapo undies (hanes/fruit of loom multipacks), and tossed as needed. Yes it was horribly wasteful but I was at the end of my rope and saved my sanity.

If I think of more I will add to this rambling list but good luck in the meantime.

Thanks for your suggestions! I hope that things get better in your house, too.

I really think that once she sits on the potty - actually, once she sits *anywhere* to poop - that things will click. It's just that sitting part that's tricky.

I'm definitely going to have her practice sitting on the potty and using the "poop muscles" to see if that helps her. She freaks out when she feels the urge to poop while sitting, but maybe if we practice when she doesn't need to,that would help?

We already have the big prize - the Playmobil modern bathroom (complete with potty, of course!). She *really* wants that. I might let her play with the pieces while she's sitting on the potty and practicing. We'll see.

Oh, and one of my big problems is that she wants privacy when she's pooping, so I don't really know if she's crossing her legs or not, now. sigh. I think she tells me what I want to hear.

[Aishe]

I'm sorry, I don't have PT advice (my dd is 23 months so we're not there yet), but may I jump in and ask how you overcame the stool withholding? My dd has been on Miralax for five months (!!) now to deal with this and it just seems like it's going to go on forever. She's not constipated anymore, but every night I essentially have to force her to stand up to make her poo (since she can't hold it in while standing). Anyway, if you have any tips I would be very grateful for them.

[Rachels]

My daughter went through something like this. She was dry at night and peeing in the potty for over a YEAR, but still asking for pull-ups to poop. She kept saying, "I can't! I can't" and I finally realized she really physically couldn't. She was struggling with painful pooping and needed to contort her body to make it happen, and she couldn't do that on the potty. We quickly started her on Miralax, and she was completely potty trained four days later. We continued the Miralax for a few months to give her intestines time to heal, and she has never needed it since.

ETA: I feel awful for having pushed her on it, though. She said she couldn't do it, and she meant what she said. I should have listened to her.

[eliasmom]

My physical therapist has given me a lot of tips re: PT. I haven't tried them yet because DD is not quite ready, but I am definitely going to try this one: have your DD blow bubbles when she sits on the potty. First of all, it's fun. Second, it requires that she use those all-important muscles. If your DD likes bubbles as much as mine, it might help get her to sit. Good luck!!

[kristenk]

Rachel, I never thought about that. She just says that she likes to poop that way. She's on Miralax. We've tapered the dose down to just 1/2 a dose about once a week, but everything's soft and she says that it doesn't hurt to poop. Maybe it doesn't hurt to poop b/c she's standing up and all crossed over???

[kristenk]

Eliasmom - I think you win with the most creative idea, so far! DD would love that and it could help her get used to sitting on the potty for a little while. Thanks for the idea!

[kristenk]

Aishe, we just used Miralax. We tried it once and it seemed to work, but things quickly went back to normal. We talked to our ped again and she suggested give DD a full dose (split into 2 half doses) daily for I don't know how many days in a row to make sure that nothing was stuck in there. That really seemed to help and things have been okay since then. We still do Miralax occasionally, but DD's not scared to poop now.

[Gena]

I saw this on Amazon (while I was looking for something else) and thought of you and your daughter. It's a book called "It Hurts When I Poop: A Story for Children who are Scared to use the Potty".

http://www.amazon.com/Hurts-When-Poop-Children-Scared/dp/1433801302/ref=pd_sim_b_title_2

I seems to have some good reviews. Maybe it can help you.

[Twoboos]

Thank you Gena for the link to this book!!! It is on the way to our house - DD is deep into regression now and I'm pulling my hair out!! :/

Thanks to whoever posted the bubble idea, too! that is a great one and I'm sure to use it.

PS - Kristenk, in light of my DD's recent back-peddling, please disregard all advice/ideas I have given. :)