OK, so now I DON'T think DS has SID...now what?

[bisous]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my initial thread asking questions about Sensory Processing Disorders. I followed the recommendations and read the Out of Sync child, skimmed Sensational Kids and visited the websites. I also talked to the school district (briefly) and the only conclusion that I come to is that he doesn't have an outright sensory problem. I thought it might be because DS is having a problem with personal space and touching too much but he is only touching PEOPLE and has no other problems with touching other things too much/too little. He doesn't seem to be striving for any kind of sensory balance but rather for social connection. My gut feeling is that it is not a sensory thing.

I'm no expert but so far I've ruled out Autism and Aspergers and Sensory Processing problems.

However, DS (only 4 years old!!) fits into nearly every single description of a child with ADHD, hyperactive subtype. Where can I find resources to try to deal with this without medication? I know he is too little to diagnose and too little to medicate but I want to do everything I can to help my son. Whatever is going on is a problem to the extent that he is that one child that just CANNOT sit still out of a class of 20 kids. He needs to be reminded constantly not to touch other people and I just don't know how to help him act appropriately.

Can anyone suggest any message boards, books, dietary tips or other resources for dealing with this kind of kid? Am I premature? Should I just wait for him to grow up naturally? Do I seriously need to chill?

Any and all advice always, always appreciated.

Jen

[spanannie]

We went through the personal space/touching problem. We explored EVERY avenue . . . have done speech, OT, seen learning consultants, etc. Nothing helped this except TIME. We elected to have him repeat Pre-K and the difference in him is astonishing. He seems completely "normal" and isn't having any of these issues. It is amazing what a gift that extra year is; my son was just socially immature.

We did think that he was seeking sensory input, however, after a lot of different testing, found that he did not have these issues. Have you tried fidgets for your son when he's at school? Those can be helpful. Also, going over the "staying in your bubble" concept has helped a lot.

I feel for you. It is a frustrating time, and I completely understand. Time can change these things, though. My son is 5.5 and doing great!

[Gena]

I haven't read it personally, but I have a friend who likes "Parenting Children with ADHD: 10 Lessons that Medicine Cannot Teach".

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Children-Adhd-Medicine-Lifetools/dp/1591471826/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1201016896&sr=8-1


It's possible that your child may have ADHD or your child may just need more time to mature. Here are a few things to thing about and maybe discuss with your son's doctor:

Is there a history of ADHD or ADD in the family?
Does your son have this behavior in different environments and with different people?
Is this a recent behavior or has he always been like this?
Is he aggressive?
Have you ruled out vision and hearing problems that might affect his ability to interact with other people?

I understand how frustrating it is when you want to help your child and can't find the answers.

[schums]

I agree with Annie -- alot of this is a maturity thing. DS's preschool teacher is a firm believer (and I am now too), that the body/mind can only grow in so many ways at once. So a child who is in a growth spurt is less likely to sit still and be able to "grow" their mind or social skills (I think I remember you saying your son was quite big). We went through some of these same issues with DS last year in preschool. What his teachers hit upon, and it worked great, was giving him a bristle block or lego in his pocket when he came in the door. He could play with this as much as he needed/wanted during the school day, but had to keep his hands to himself. They really worked with him to reinforce this concept. It worked great! This year in K, he really doesn't use this tool anymore. He matured beyond having to touch everyone and everything all the time.

Also, FWIW, his teacher told us that his learning style is very tactile, meaning he needs to touch and feel things in order to learn. Also, he is a kinetic learner, so sitting still is NOT when he learns best. He learns by moving and doing, so fidgeting is entirely appropriate when he is learning. Perhaps your son is not ADHD (he might be, I'm not a MD), but has similar learning styles. I was worried that DS was a bit ADHD after doing some research, but after looking into these learning styles, feel he fits them to a T. The challenge for me is to teach him how to best learn and still stay within socially acceptable bounds (respect personal space, etc.)

GL and HTH,

[StantonHyde]

Have you met with a child psychologist? A professional can rule out things for you (eg. autism) and give you a range of diagnoses and give you ideas on how to work with your son's behavior, what to look for, etc. I know some great psychologists who are happy to work with parents in a collaborative effort. You can say you don't want to use meds.The biggest benefit is getting a solid "to do" list for managing behaviors. Sure beats feeling like you're up against the great unknown all the time.

[pinkmomagain]

I wanted to add that kids with ADHD are often socially immature compared to their peers. I have read that it evens out in their teens, but until then you can see a difference.

I have a child with ADHD - inattentive type. Not hyperactive at all, in fact quite the opposite. She is 8 now, but when she was 3 or 4 we thought that she might be on the autism spectrum and she definitely had sensory issues. We saw several drs at that age....no one is eager to dx at that age, but one astute neurologist suggested it could be an attentional issue. She was actually dx at 6/7 yo.

I haven't fully exhausted researching ADHD yet...some resources I have looked into are: ADDitude Magazine and it's website, a book called "Driven to Distraction", another interesting book called "Quirky Kids."

A suggestion: He should be at a good age for a social skills group. That is something you might be able to get paid for through your school district as special services. My daughter was in one at that age (not for the same reasons)...it was run by a psychologist and there were a few other kids who were at the same functioning level as my dd, all who had varying issues. Even if he does not have a formal dx, it may be a good way to help him with this particular issue he is having.

HTH,

Gina

[bisous]

Thank you everyone for your responses!

Annie and Sarah, I appreciate so much that you were relating your own experiences with your own DC. It is very reassuring to see that we aren't the only ones dealing with this particular kind of behavioral problem and also to see that it does get better! Sarah, I wish we could find a preschool teacher like yours. She sounds great. :)

Gena, you've asked some really great questions that have made me think so here are some answers:
Yes we have a great deal of history with ADHD in the family. All five of the kids in DH's family were diagnosed as children.

He does not act nearly as busy at home when it is just me and little brother but when any visitors come to our home he gets overexcited and the behaviors start.

He has always been really REALLY busy but the touching has only happened recently. In fact, I think that it might be a jealousy thing. He has a six month old brother and the neck touching started when the little guy was about 3 mos. old.

He isn't aggressive. He rarely gets angry, never has tantrums. He "bothers" lots of kids but that is because he just won't stop touching when they indicate that it bothers them. He doesn't hit, kick, bite or push.

You know what? I'm going to get his vision checked again. About 9 mos. ago I took him to a ped. who said his eyes "looked" fine but I never followed up with an eye doc. This time I'm doing it. I just recently learned that persistent high blood sugars sometimes cause fuzzy vision. It isn't the same thing as corneal damage but more like a temporary fuzziness or distortion of what he sees and his blood sugars (due to illness and growth spurts) have been kind of out of control lately.

So Gena BIG thanks for the questions. They have really made me think.

Gina and Rebecca, I'm really going to vigorously pursue the angle of talking to the school district/child psychologist. Many of the things I'm looking into fare much better with earlier intervention. The social skills group sounds like something that my DS could benefit from.

Thanks again!

Jen

[StantonHyde]

Speaking of social skills groups, the psych hospital where I work has an day treatment program for kids transitioning from the hospital and for kids who are having behavioral difficulties that may have a neurologic component. They run social skills groups for kids with autism spectrum disorders. I have talked to people I met socially who have their kids in those groups and they LOVE them. They say it makes a big difference.

In the Day Tx program, the kids are in a structured program with help from a Social Worker, special ed speicalist, and an MD. It takes about 2 weeks but they are able to put together a comprehensive plan for the parents, school, and outpatient providers to follow. We see some awesome results.

So you are ABSOLUTELY right that getting help early is key. It is good to get relationships with providers in your community. A friend of mine has a daughter with profound CP. Providers know her and know that she is reasonable so when she asks about different interventions, they are really open to her suggestions, and they have worked out some great collaborative solutions. She really feels empowered to navigate her daughter's path vs. feeling like a victim of a disability.

Good luck!!