One of those SAHM nights..

[hallelujah]

So, DH is at work right now. He works between 55-60 hrs a week as a restaurant manager. You would think his income would be enough for me to stay home, but it seems that we end up using credit cards just for groceries or other necessaties several times a month. What makes it tough is that I have been a SAHM for 4 years now. I feel like I need to get out and make some money. The problem is with DH's schedule, I would not be able to find a job to where DH could watch the kids as I'm at work and vice versa. And it would not be worth it to put the boys in daycare, as I know the most I would make is $10-12/hr (I did administrative work before becoming a SAHM).
What do I do?? I do some selling on Ebay and craigslist, but not enough for us to really get ahead. Also, both boys are wanting Daddy to stay home and Mommy go work (thanks kids!) I feel bad that my husband has been "missing out" on the boys, but he does make more money than I possibly could.

Who knows where I am going with this..just something that crosses my mind on a daily basis. Why can't I win the lottery (oh wait, I don't play it)..or come up with some ingenious product that people can't live without. My DH is working 7 days a row this week, and I just feel bad that I can't financially contribute. To top that off, DH HATES the restaurant industry, but it is all he has done since 14. Then he comes home and tells me about how his boss treats him like &$%@ or how the customers told him that he "intentionally ruined their night" beause a plate came out not hot enough for them.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! I'm sure some of you know exactly how I feel! Anyone want to brainstorm with me and come up with a great business that allows us to stay home with the kids?? :6:

[Melanie]

I'm sorry. I don't have any advice unless you are the salesperson type and want to dip your toes into those waters. I hate trying to get people to buy things they don't want, so I'm not a great advocate but I know people who do really well at the Mary Kay/Nikken/Melaluca/Arbonne type of things.

Maybe your husband just needs to find a new restaurant? That sounds just awful.

[bnme]

I know how you feel. I am struggling with the same thing except I am lucky that my DH works typical 9-5 type hours. But I am feeling the need to contribute so things aren't so tight and we can do more. When we got married we both were earning about the same (I was in the financial field). I always thought I would keep working but it was just too much. We managed to work things out so I could stay home for a year or 2 and 5 years later I am still home.

Me going back to my old field is not really an option now -We can't imagine making that big of a change, full time day care or nanny. And my job always consisted of lots of 'mandatory' overtime. A part-time job I could get locally, like retail or admin, just wouldn't cover childcare like you said. So I am stuck. I 'could' work weekends but we decided it's not worth it to lose family time unless we really need it.

I have 2 more years until both kids are in school full-time so I am (for now) waiting until then to decide my next career move. For me it is scary to think about what I will do next. I had a 'career path' type job and I can't even imagine going back to it. I feel so far out-of-the-loop and worry that I made a mistake in becoming a SAHM (future-earning-potential-wise).

I did just check out a bunch of ebay books. I plan to start listing my attic full of baby clothes in the hopes to earn a little cash towards vacations/gifts. I am not expecting much and will see if I actually do it....I have made the attempt before but never seem to get around to it......

I wish I had a 'great idea' too. But I surely know how you feel.

Oh, and after all is said and done I am glad that I am able to have this time with my kids and for my family.

[tiapam]

I don't think there is a quick solution to this problem. If your DH is miserable in the restaurant industry, I think he should try to get training (or otherwise prepare) for something else, even if you can only plan on doing that in the future, say when kids are in school FT.

I highly recommend the book Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow: Discovering Your Right Livelihood by Marsha Sinetar.

Right now, you can probably only plan to make a change and then make the change when circumstances are more favorable. But I think the planning is essential to make it happen in the future.

[firstbaby]

I'm sorry to hear that things are so tough right now. Here are some quick thoughts - I don't know a lot of details on your situation, but just some thoughts...

Do you or your husband enjoy to cook or is he more focused on the management side? Those Dinner Done type places have been getting a lot of spin off stuff lately in our area and maybe if you had an interest / ability in cooking, you could do something like that at night when the kids go to bed? One of our neighbors has been cooking and assembling meals and selling them. She's been pleased with the response and money so far.

Do you feel you could manage one or two more kids during the day or part of the day? Moms in my area are always looking for responsible and quality child care / baby sitters. One of my neighbors started a mom's morning out program 3 mornings a week for half days. She charges $100 a week and she's had a great response. This may not be something you're interested in, but if you are willing to devote two or three days a week to staying close to home, you could create a steady income that way without sending your kids to day care while you work out of the home.

I also think Melanie is right about some of the work at home businesses like Mary Kay, Pampered chef, etc. It does take a lot of work to get the business going but it does create some income if you stick with it.

Good luck!

[cmo]

A couple of thoughts came to mind as to how you may be able to bring some extra $$$.

-A former sitter of mine told me that she made $50 cash every Sunday by babysitting in a nearby church nursery. It was for 3 hours tops, and if her husband happened to be working, she could still bring her DD along. I know that our church also pays several people in the nursery (under age 5), though I don't know how much.

-You'd have to run the numbers on this one, but you could teach preschool, and enroll your boys at the same time. Kids of teachers are usually discounted, and maybe even free. The pay would not be great, though, and you may or may not end up bringing much $$$ home.

-I know that I, and several other SAHMs in my neighborhood, are always looking for occasioanl or part-time weekday childcare. I know one woman who comes to the family's house, and one who has a drop-in at her house, and they both have plenty of work. I found mine on craigslist, and have seen ads in neighborhood, church, and preschool newsletters.

Yes, these are all kid-centered ideas, and you may be hoping for a break from that, but those are the real-life examples I know of! A PP mentioned someone who makes and sells meals, which is something I've been thinking of doing, because I think there are a lot of families in my neighborhood would jump on. If you can cook, that might be a good option!

Hope you can find something that works for you soon! :-)

[StantonHyde]

How's your typing? Medical transcription companies are always looking for transcriptionists. YOu do it from home and email it in or you are typing on their server. You would have to be "on" for a certain amount of time-not just get 8 reports typed by tomorrow thing.

I also know somebody who works for Jet Blue from home: from 2am-6am. I bet other airlines need reservation folks then, too. It could be the same for hotel chains.

Retraining in health care. I think it only takes 6 mos to be an xray tech and they are in short supply. I am not sure if you or DH are interested in doing anything in healthcare, but the industry is in desperate need of nurses, pharmacists, and techs. It is fairly easy to start as a tech and then in 6 mos the hospital will often pay your tuition for nursing or other school.

[Melanie]

Me going back to my old field is not really an option now -We can't imagine making that big of a change, full time day care or nanny. And my job always consisted of lots of 'mandatory' overtime. A part-time job I could get locally, like retail or admin, just wouldn't cover childcare like you said. So I am stuck. I 'could' work weekends but we decided it's not worth it to lose family time unless we really need it.

I totally hear you. I was doing well on my path and making rather good money. Dh & I had NO idea just how well off we were! Though he's almost up to cover what we both made together then, but obviously expenses are much higher now. I don't have a clue what I "want to be when I grow up," now. I am looking to work when my kids are in school but be there for them afterschool for sure, but maintain that THROUGH high school. My mom did the SAHM thing until I was in Jr. High then went back to work. I'm sure it's much easier to leave an ambivalent teenager than a young child (at a sitter for example) but boy do teenagers get into so much more trouble when left at home alone!

And then what? Then my kids will be on their own, presumably, or at least responsible college students at home. Then I'm too old to hire, too hold to train?! Oh dear.

Okay, back to the OP's problem. Sorry for the hijack!