OT, ST, any suggestions - I can't talk, how do I care for DS?

[niccig]

I can't talk. I had my thyroid surgery and despite an excellent surgeon, I had damage to my recurrent laragenal nerve - the thyroid nodule was wrapped around the nerve. I was the unlucky less than 1% of thyroid surgeries. I'm starting speech therapy next week, but they said I'm to rest it as much as possible as I have a very hoarse and weak voice. It could take months to heal properly.

My immediate concern is how do I care for DS when I can't talk. DH is home all this week, but next week, it's me and help from friends/the sitter.

I thought I could start sign language with him again. Does anyone have any good resources for signs - something I can quickly learn and start using.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can communicate and not use my voice - this is really difficult for me as I am such a chatter box. I'm writing things down for DH, but DS is 3yo, so I can't do that with him yet.

Thanks.
Nicci

[elliput]

Definitely sign with your son if that is something you have already started. Here is a link to the ASL browser. http://commtechlab.msu.edu/sites/aslweb/browser.htm

[fortato]

I'm so sorry that your surgery had a complication. Hopefully it will heal, and you'll be back to normal.

Definitely try signing with your son, also, try making up note cards with sight words and a picture on them. Cut things out of magazines, print them out on the computer, tape them to a note card and use those.

Big hugs, I hope you'll be ok.

[lizajane]

can you whisper at all? i mean, without putting your voice behind words? trite in comparison, but i lost my voice for a few days recently. i could whisper softly. i was frustrated a lot, but it really didn't make a huge difference with the kids. they pay more attention when they can hardly hear you!

i am so sorry!!! hope you get it back soon!!!

[Melanie]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry.

[andie16]

I would definitely suggest signing and using pictures/photographs. You can either snap a few pictures of favorite toys, foods, activities, etc. or go to google images and find some that way. You can also make picture schedules so that you can help your ds know what to expect for the day (or break it up into morning/afternoon/evening). For example, for the am it could be something like:

photo of toothbrush (or him brushing his teeth)
photo of clothes (or him getting dressed)
photo of cereal (or him eating breakfast)
photo of park, toys, etc.

You should talk to your speech pathologist and/or doctor about whispering. I am an SLP, but don't have much experience since grad school with voice disorders, but I do know that whispering can actually be stressful to your vocal folds if you aren't careful. Liza, I'm glad it helped you out when you were sick, but it might not be a good idea in this case. But, like I said, I'm not a voice expert so talk to your own team about that.

ETA: I hope you're feeling better soon and that your therapy goes well.

[sidmand]

I'm sorry you had these complications...

But I think you can use a lot of what's used by speech pathologists for kids having trouble with expressive language.

The two big ones would be signing and the PEC (Picture Exchange Communication) systems.

You can make your own pictures for everyday things, but some sites to start with are here:

http://www.givinggreetings.com/
http://www.mayer-johnson.com/

The Signing Time! DVDs have a lot of the words that work well for little kids. There are some flash cards too that DS really likes.

For the pictures, DS's therapist (and we're supposed to be using it more than we do, we're getting there)...has a velcro strip on one of those standing up picture frames you can get at AC Moore or an arts and crafts store. The picture representations are about an inch square and each has a little velcro backing on it. We keep them in a 3-ring binder on big strips of velcro and then pull off the ones we need for the next few activities, etc.

So we could put on the picture frame the picture for "Go Upstairs" (these also have the words on them), "Use the Toilet" or "Diaper," "Get Dressed," "Play." And then DS would know he should go upstairs, get a new diaper, get dressed, and go play. I'm not sure if that made any sense. But I know they actually use these same pictures (Mayer Johnson) in the local preschool, so it's not just for speech-impaired kids, but for anyone who would be helped by a visual representation.

If that didn't make any sense or you'd like more information, just let me know, or maybe someone who's done it longer (or can explain better!) will chime in.

[vludmilla]

Debbie,
I think you explained it well! I am not a SLP either but I'm a psychologist and I work part-time with and a class of children with autism spectrum diagnoses. I was going to suggest the pictures as well. I think it will work very well, the only thing is that it can be time-consuming in the beginning. I would suggest getting DH to help you with them or have him watch DC while you find the pictures and make the cards and schedules. You could create a daily schedule first and then make a list of all the words/ideas you think you'll
need to convey to DC and then look for images that represent those words/ideas and print them out and stick them to index cards like the PP mentioned. Since it will be months that you may need these cards, you could laminate them with some contact paper. Also, I would speak to your SLP, s/he may be able to/willing to help you with this project. They may have easier access to all the images you'll need.
HTH and good luck...

[DrSally]

Hi, so sorry about the complication with your surgery. Sounds like your voice will come back though, it's just the waiting that is so hard. I have a voice disorder, spasmodic dysphonia, where I have to get shots that made me lose my voice totally for 6 weeks at a time (initially) by weaking the same nerve. I didn't have children at the time, but I was in grad school and it was tough to adjust. BUT, I did communicate with whispering and eventually my friends just knew what I was trying to say and would even repeat it for me in class. If your SLP ok's whispering with no force behind your voice, that may help. Just wanted to commiserate as well, a person doesn't know how much they use their voice until it's gone. I'm so glad this will hopefully be temporary for you. In the Spasmodic dysphonia community, there are moms who have talked about raising kids, you might want to check them out online to get some tips, but you have gotten some great ones here too.

[niccig]

Thanks for all the suggestions.

I didn't think of picture cards. I have been meaning to do up a chart to help with the morning routine. I'll have a look at the web sites, and come up with some images. I'll also talk with the speech therapist and see if she can help.

We haven't signed with DS in 18 months, but we're going to try again. A friend has all the DVDs and some of the books, and I'm getting those today.

I want to figure something out with DH before he goes back to work, so he can explain to DS.

It was rotten luck having the nerve damaged, the thyroid nodule was just in the wrong place, but it will get better with time. I just have to figure out how to get through the day. DS wanted me to read to him last night, and then sing a song. I can't do either of those things. So, I got him to read to me, he described the pictures, and he sang "wheels on the bus" and I did the hand motions. We'll muddle through.

[nofeea]

Hi,
So sorry about your bad luck (to say the least...). I'm an SLP (though I haven't officially worked in years...since I went on bedrest with DD #1).
I agree that you shouldn't whisper unless you clear it with your SLP and/or ENT. I don't know exactly what your damage is but whispering can put more strain on your vocal cords than quiet talking. (It's different for a condition like spasmodic dyphonia-which the PP mentioned).

First, establish a system to get attention-ie- a loud clap, or a whistle (you can buy a cheap one) so that you avoid the need to try to raise your voice (or to get DS's or DH's attention if they're in another room, etc.)

All the picture and signing advice above is good so I won't repeat all that. One other thing you can do is use some simple text-to-voice program on the computer if you really want to tell your DS something that's hard to convey in a picture.
There are a lot of options but if you want to try it out go to this website:
http://www.naturalreaders.com/sample.htm#

Use the DEMO box on the side. You can choose a voice (speaker) and type in the box and then push the "SAY IT" button. The computer will speak your message! (If you have speakers, of course...). You can try this for the phone also.

When your voice is strong enough for at least quiet talking, you could use an amplifier... there are lots of different types...

I'm sure your SLP will explore all of this stuff with you. Just wanted to start you off with a few ideas...
Good LUCK!

[niccig]

Hi,
So sorry about your bad luck (to say the least...). I'm an SLP (though I haven't officially worked in years...since I went on bedrest with DD #1).
I agree that you shouldn't whisper unless you clear it with your SLP and/or ENT. I don't know exactly what your damage is but whispering can put more strain on your vocal cords than quiet talking. (It's different for a condition like spasmodic dyphonia-which the PP mentioned).

First, establish a system to get attention-ie- a loud clap, or a whistle (you can buy a cheap one) so that you avoid the need to try to raise your voice (or to get DS's or DH's attention if they're in another room, etc.)

All the picture and signing advice above is good so I won't repeat all that. One other thing you can do is use some simple text-to-voice program on the computer if you really want to tell your DS something that's hard to convey in a picture.
There are a lot of options but if you want to try it out go to this website:
http://www.naturalreaders.com/sample.htm#

Use the DEMO box on the side. You can choose a voice (speaker) and type in the box and then push the "SAY IT" button. The computer will speak your message! (If you have speakers, of course...). You can try this for the phone also.

When your voice is strong enough for at least quiet talking, you could use an amplifier... there are lots of different types...

I'm sure your SLP will explore all of this stuff with you. Just wanted to start you off with a few ideas...
Good LUCK!

Thanks for the advice. I'll try a loud clap or a whistle. At the moment, DH has given me DS's jingle bells and a notepad/pencil in a tool apron tied around my waist. I'll try the computer program you mentioned - that could be very useful when DH goes back to work and I need to explain something to DS. I just have to find different ways to communicate.

[nofeea]

Just wondering how you're doing. Keep us updated...

[niccig]

Just wondering how you're doing. Keep us updated...

Thanks so much for checking in.

I'm doing better, up and about and doing things. I still have difficulty swallowing, but it has improved. I'm using sign language with DS - he's resisting though. He knows what the signs are eg. milk but he won't answer me. I can talk a little, so I use the sign and tell him what I'm saying. DH has talked to him about me using signs, but I think it'll take some time for DS to get used to it. I have my first speech therapy next week, so I'll find out then what the treatment options are. Fingers crossed this is short-term.

I really appreciate you asking. So many people IRL think it's funny - see my bitching post. It's nice to know there are people that care.

[randomkid]

Just a thought...There is a resource center in my town that assists the deaf. If there is anything near you like that, they may be able to make suggestions on how you could communicate better with your DS.

I also like the sign language idea - try to make it fun. We did signing with DD when she was younger and now that she is 3yo, she doesn't use it anymore. We started playing around with it the other night and she was trying to remember the signs, but often made up her own. When we showed her the correct sign, it was like a trigger - you could tell that she totally remembered and she had fun with it.

I wouldn't be surprised if your DS rebels a little as you mentioned in a pp. This is a huge change for him and he's probably confused and scared. Not that you haven't thought of this, but incorporate your new communication into a fun activity as much as possible. Maybe then he will be more receptive?

Here's wishing you a speedy recovery and big hugs - I'm so sorry this happened.