WDYT - Birthday Playdate

[julieakc]

Background:

DH has once again vetoed an actual party for DS (and on some level I totally agree) so we will be doing what we have done every year - just a small family party. I do all the same stuff - theme with matching cake, decorations, bounce house, etc. It's just that it's a smaller group.

This year since we're doing the bounce house again and have it all day it seems a waste for just DS and his 2 cousins to be the only ones who get to play (ok, DH and I will also jump around too :boogie: ). DH agreed that later, after the family party, we could invite a couple of kids over for a playdate to play in the bounce house.

Question:

I sent an evite that said it was a birthday playdate. I simply stated...


We're doing the family "party" earlier in the day, but we've got the bounce house all day, so come on over for a little afternoon jumping fun.

1) Does this sound ok? I don't want people (only 5 kids will be invited, and I don't think all will be able to make it) to feel they're missing the party, which isn't really a party anyway (and I will have goodie bags and cupcakes for the kids).

2) Do I need/should I state no gifts or is that implied since I just called it a play date? I do state it's a birthday play date simply because I thought it would be odd to have a bounce house for no reason (the people invited pretty much know when Ryan's birthday is anyway). I really don't want anyone to feel obligated to buy DS a gift but wonder if stating "no gifts" makes it seem more like a party and less like a playdate.

Any thoughts?

[SnuggleBuggles]

1. I think it sounds fine.

2. I don't think you need to mention gifts at all. People will or won't bring gifts just based on what they feel makes sense. If you really want no gifts then a follow up might be a good idea. I'd personally probably bring a gift if you didn't say not to. I really like to buy b-day gifts though. :)

With a bounce house, cupcakes and goodie bags it sounds like a b-day party. :) Not sure there really is that much more that you would need to do besides sing Happy Birthday. :)

Beth

[ha98ed14]

If you really don't want any gifts, I would just send a follow up P.S. email saying "It's a playdate, so come and play, but no gifts please." And leave it at that. I think it might be a good idea. Depending on how well you know the families, you might call them. Personally a "birthday playdate" seems ambiguous to me, so I would feel obliged to bring a gift, especially if I didn't know the family well.

[julieakc]

With a bounce house, cupcakes and goodie bags it sounds like a b-day party. :) Not sure there really is that much more that you would need to do besides sing Happy Birthday. :)

Beth

Shhhh....Don't tell DH that.;)

[SnuggleBuggles]

Shhhh....Don't tell DH that.;)

Hee Hee :) I'll keep it a secret, don't worry!

Have fun!

Beth

[egoldber]

We're doing the family "party" earlier in the day, but we've got the bounce house all day, so come on over for a little afternoon jumping fun

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I find that wording a little odd. It kind of sounds like "well we have it anyway, so you may as well come over"... I'd probably be a little, oh I don't know. Put out seems too strong, but like a third wheel perhaps? You know how you get a wedding invitation sometimes and its obvious that you were a B list invitee? Thats kind of how it feels.

I wouldn't say anything about the family party earlier, just say its a birthday playdate (which I think sounds fine) and if you don't want gifts, I would mention that when people RSVP.

[belovedgandp]

I'd go with what you have. As a guest, I'd probably show up with a gift how it stands now or if you sent a follow up note, but that's just me. I might intentionally go "smaller" than a full blown b-day party.

I have a playgroup that has done several things like this. It's our normal playgroup time, but the mom will host at her house, have some cupcakes and play some games or do a craft. Some of these are the "b-list" parties where I know the kids are having bigger, family or friend parties on the weekend, but still want to include us in the fun. Others are the only party the kid's going to have. In any case we go and have fun. One thing to make it less party-ish with the gift thing is to not open them when everyone is there - especially if not everyone brings a gift.

[neeter]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I find that wording a little odd. It kind of sounds like "well we have it anyway, so you may as well come over"... I'd probably be a little, oh I don't know. Put out seems too strong, but like a third wheel perhaps? You know how you get a wedding invitation sometimes and its obvious that you were a B list invitee? Thats kind of how it feels.

I wouldn't say anything about the family party earlier, just say its a birthday playdate (which I think sounds fine) and if you don't want gifts, I would mention that when people RSVP.

I agree with this too! You could even just call it a playdate, and have the bounce house there and do the cake/goody bags as a little surprise. This way, if you don't want gifts, you won't have them, and everyone will have an extra special time not expecting the bounce house!!

[s7714]

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I find that wording a little odd. It kind of sounds like "well we have it anyway, so you may as well come over"... I'd probably be a little, oh I don't know. Put out seems too strong, but like a third wheel perhaps? You know how you get a wedding invitation sometimes and its obvious that you were a B list invitee? Thats kind of how it feels.

I wouldn't say anything about the family party earlier, just say its a birthday playdate (which I think sounds fine) and if you don't want gifts, I would mention that when people RSVP.

Those were my exact thoughts too. As for the present issue, I'd feel obligated to bring a present to any sort of birthday function unless it was specifically mentioned that presents weren't necessary.

[JustMe]

I agree with Beth. The wording might make me feel like an afterthought/2nd choice...come over for leftovers, etc. I think it would be better to just not mention the other party. It is fine to call it a playdate, if that is what works for your family, and if you really don't want gifts I would specify no gifts. If you are fine either way, I wouldn't say anything about gifts.

Sounds like fun.

[kransden]

I agree with Beth, it sounds weird. I would wonder if I should get a present or not. What would I tell dd? She would wonder why he isn't having a party, but then it is a party. No matter what you call it, you're having a birthday party. So what if your family was there earlier in the day, what does that have to do with anything? Just have a good time.

[julieakc]

Thanks everyone - I enjoy hearing everyone's thoughts.

I think the reason I felt I should note that the family was coming earlier was because it will be obvious when they come that people had already been there - half eaten cake, decorations, etc. Somehow I felt that pre-stating this would be better than showing up and thinking "hey, how come we weren't invited to the party?"

The evite was sent to just 4 people - two of whom I've known for over 20 years so they know that we do a family party (which is why they've never been invited to a BD party for DS) - I think they'll just be happy to have an excuse to come visit with us. The other 2 are neighborhood friends (a classmate of DS's and a fellow BBB mama whose DC is the exact same age - just days apart). One other

No one but me knows that I will give the other kids party favors or that there will be cupcakes, so those will be a surprise for the guests.

Oh and DS knows he's having a party - he knows it will be the same as it has in the past - Grandmas and Grandpas, his aunt and uncle, and cousins. DS has never asked to have a party and invite anyone else.

As I talk to people I will indicate that no gifts are necessary. And if he does get any we definitely won't open them in front of others.

What do you think of a play on the attendance factor...

"no gift necessary - playing with you is "presence" enough?"