Superbowl with the Joneses

[elizabethkott]

Hello all! Time for another installment of the Joneses! (Sorry I've been MIA - high school play time, and the show is tonight and tomorrow!)

DH informs me that he has agreed to order and pick up the BBQ from the GREAT open pit BBQ place in our town to bring over to the Joneses. I want to know if we'll all be splitting this bill, or are we providing food for *their* party. Guess who's right? ME. That's right. They're "hosting", by providing a warm, indoor space and a 6 pack of beer. Other drinks came via other guests. We provided ALL the food. ALL of it. I don't know what constitutes "hosting" where everybody else comes from, but apparently, Mrs. Jones with her new *$35,000* kitchen doesn't think cooking is necessary.

So we get there with the food. Everyone is happy.
"I babyproofed. Since babyjones is now sort of crawling around, I figured it was time."
Now, "babyproofing" to me means there are no sharp objects lying around (wine bottle opener on coffee table in easy reach), that there are no chances of my child being electrocuted (ALL outlets remain uncovered, all cords still jumbled around on the floor), that my child cannot slam his hands in anything (doors to living room swing in the breeze, and I do mean SWING) and that he can't escape Alcatraz and climb up the stairs (no baby gate). I also expect that all cleaning solvents are locked away (nope) and that there is nothing breakable at baby height (well, there IS - namely the large TV on a baby-height tv stand that J-man was facinated with and wanted to touch nonstop!). But she "babyproofed" by putting a bumper on the coffee table. Yippie Skippie.

We mention that we've started looking for a bigger house.
"Oh, did you see the one down the street from us?"
"Yeah, we're not too interested in that one."
"Why? It's in your price range and it's right down the street from us!"
Ummmm. Take part two of that sentence and suck on it for a while.

"Don't you love my kitchen?"
Ummmmm. No. For all that money, you sure made some baaaaaaaaad choices. Like if the rest of the house has gorgeous natural wood floors, why you would put cheezy fake wood laminate in there rather than tile is beyond me. And don't get me started on the color. I didn't know blue could look like vomit, but there it is!

"Why do you have to go home so early?"
Because the baby is tired.
"Can't you just put him in the pack and play here?"
No, because he doesn't sleep well in unknown environments.
"We could just give him some Benadryl..."
?????????
CRAZY LADY!!!!!!! You want me to mix him a martini for his bottle, too?!

You're welcome.
:)

[jhrabosk]

DH informs me that he has agreed to order and pick up the BBQ from the GREAT open pit BBQ place in our town to bring over to the Joneses. I want to know if we'll all be splitting this bill, or are we providing food for *their* party. Guess who's right? ME. That's right.

Sheesh. You are VERY generous...NY BBQ is not cheap.

[Marisa6826]

Sheesh. You are VERY generous...NY BBQ is not cheap.

No joke. I'm surprised she just didn't dial up Bobby Flay and have you swing by the LIRR to pick him and Stephanie up for the game. :duh:

LOVE the 'babyjones' coin, btw :hysterical:

-m

[niccig]

Shhesh. The nerve of some people.

I'll tell DH that from now on when you go to a Joneses event, that you offer to bring 1. bottle of wine or 2. some snacks. No more catering for their party. Or, before you even unpack the food, you tell them how much they owe you, and tell them that a check is fine if they don't have cash.

And when you look for a new house - move across town so you are as far away as possible. If you're too close, she'll assume that you will babysit anytime with no notice and she'll be gone for most of the day!

[maestramommy]

Elizabeth, I'm just curious, but I don't know if you've mentioned this already. Since they're so awful, why do you continue to socialize with them? Do your DH's work together? I'm think you and your Dh must have an incredible amount of goodwill to put up with them for this long.

[tylersmama]

Um. Omg. I don't even know what to say to that. YOU provided all the food for THEIR party??? Unbelievable. I can't imagine throwing a party and not providing ANY food. And people had to BYOB. Wow. Just speechless. :6:

[ha98ed14]

LOL! Awesome wit. Thanks!

[overcome]

We mention that we've started looking for a bigger house.
"Oh, did you see the one down the street from us?"
"Yeah, we're not too interested in that one."
"Why? It's in your price range and it's right down the street from us!"
Ummmm. Take part two of that sentence and suck on it for a while.


That is hysterical.....

[elizabethkott]

Elizabeth, I'm just curious, but I don't know if you've mentioned this already. Since they're so awful, why do you continue to socialize with them? Do your DH's work together? I'm think you and your Dh must have an incredible amount of goodwill to put up with them for this long.

Because DH and Mr. Jones have been best friends since college. They lived together in the city for years. Thus, I'm stuck! DH thinks she's ridiculous as well. We actually introduced them to each other - she and I went to high school together. We weren't the best of friends, but we ran in the same circle. Ironic, no? I could have prevented this whole thing from the beginning! :)

[Melanie]

LMAO. Thank you. :)

[Lovingliv]

Hello all! Time for another installment of the Joneses! (Sorry I've been MIA - high school play time, and the show is tonight and tomorrow!)

DH informs me that he has agreed to order and pick up the BBQ from the GREAT open pit BBQ place in our town to bring over to the Joneses. I want to know if we'll all be splitting this bill, or are we providing food for *their* party. Guess who's right? ME. That's right. They're "hosting", by providing a warm, indoor space and a 6 pack of beer. Other drinks came via other guests. We provided ALL the food. ALL of it. I don't know what constitutes "hosting" where everybody else comes from, but apparently, Mrs. Jones with her new *$35,000* kitchen doesn't think cooking is necessary.

So we get there with the food. Everyone is happy.
"I babyproofed. Since babyjones is now sort of crawling around, I figured it was time."
Now, "babyproofing" to me means there are no sharp objects lying around (wine bottle opener on coffee table in easy reach), that there are no chances of my child being electrocuted (ALL outlets remain uncovered, all cords still jumbled around on the floor), that my child cannot slam his hands in anything (doors to living room swing in the breeze, and I do mean SWING) and that he can't escape Alcatraz and climb up the stairs (no baby gate). I also expect that all cleaning solvents are locked away (nope) and that there is nothing breakable at baby height (well, there IS - namely the large TV on a baby-height tv stand that J-man was facinated with and wanted to touch nonstop!). But she "babyproofed" by putting a bumper on the coffee table. Yippie Skippie.

We mention that we've started looking for a bigger house.
"Oh, did you see the one down the street from us?"
"Yeah, we're not too interested in that one."
"Why? It's in your price range and it's right down the street from us!"
Ummmm. Take part two of that sentence and suck on it for a while.

"Don't you love my kitchen?"
Ummmmm. No. For all that money, you sure made some baaaaaaaaad choices. Like if the rest of the house has gorgeous natural wood floors, why you would put cheezy fake wood laminate in there rather than tile is beyond me. And don't get me started on the color. I didn't know blue could look like vomit, but there it is!

"Why do you have to go home so early?"
Because the baby is tired.
"Can't you just put him in the pack and play here?"
No, because he doesn't sleep well in unknown environments.
"We could just give him some Benadryl..."
?????????
CRAZY LADY!!!!!!! You want me to mix him a martini for his bottle, too?!

You're welcome.
:)

I don't always post in the Joneses threads....but I really, really enjoy them!!!

[hellokitty]

Because DH and Mr. Jones have been best friends since college. They lived together in the city for years. Thus, I'm stuck! DH thinks she's ridiculous as well. We actually introduced them to each other - she and I went to high school together. We weren't the best of friends, but we ran in the same circle. Ironic, no? I could have prevented this whole thing from the beginning! :)

Omg, was mrs. j this annoying when you knew her in HS? Or did the two of them just amplify their annoying personalities even more when they married one another? All I have to say is that you and your DH are really nice to pretty much buy all the food for THEIR party w/o complaining. I would have said something, esp if they are supposed to be such close friends.

[rupptopia]

Ditto the above post, love these, keep 'em coming! :)

[elephantmeg]

love them, love them, love them!

[kransden]

You can't move away from the Jones!!!! What would we do without them and their tales of stupidity?? They just make me laugh.

BTW there is a series of children's book called "The Stupids". When I read them, I think of your neighbors lol! ;)

[casey0729]

If you move, you'll not only rob us of this entertainment, you'll be robbing the next generation of bbb'ers 25 years from now when babykott is on here complaining about the insanity of babyjones.

[kellij]

Not really the same, because I'm not doomed to be fast friends forever :) with these people, but I sort of had a similar occurrence in law school.

This girl in my class was going to marry her baby's daddy, with whom she already lived. Another girl in our class, we'll call her "Mrs. Smith," wanted to give her a shower. Me, being a foolish person, offered my house because Mrs. Smith lived about an hour away from the town where our school was. I told her that she could use my house to host her party. I thought it was clear that I didn't intend to be a hostess, in the sense of food, drinks, etc, I was merely providing the house. I wasn't friends with either Mrs. Smith or the girl. So nothing is ever said again about it for months and then about a week before, Mrs. Smith tells me she wants to have the party Easter weekend. Genius, like nothing is going on that weekend. Next thing I know, everyone in our class has received an "invitation." I use the word "invitation" in the loosest sense. It was copied in black and white 8x10 paper that had PRECIOUS MOMENTS stickers all over it. WTH!? It said, "section 3 loves to party, what better reason than a shower?!" Awesome, goes perfectly with the precious moments theme. Then my name was spelled incorrectly (as the location), that was crossed out and corrected. So I was somewhat horrified that people might think that the artistry was mine, but I figured they would clue in when my name was initially mispelled.

Mrs. Smith mentions that she'll bring beer and burgers. My girlfriend, in law school too, and I start discussing that it would be kind of a bad deal if that is literally all she brings. I hated for the guests not to have anything else if that is all she was bringing, and I thought that since it was at my house, they might think it was all my doing. So I actually bought chips, made dips, desserts, etc., but I didn't get the burger fixins since she specifically said she'd bring them. They showed up with meat patties, and i'm talking about pre-made, frozen, not-the-best-quality meat patties, the cheap buns that fall apart and some generic beer that literally no one had ever heard of. That was it. Who eats a bun and a patty with nothing on it at all, not even mustard or mayo?? So we had to run to the grocery store, mid-party, to get the filler ingredients. The meat patties were so bad that we had to load them up with garlic salt to make them taste okay.

The rest of the party was fun though! :)

I learned my lesson and I've never offered my house without intending to be a full hostess again!