Why I hate talking politics!

[LarsMal]

I generally don't discuss politics. Before I met DH, I barely followed politics. If someone asks, I don't hide that I'm a registered Democrat. This weekend we had the opportunity to go see Clinton and Obama speak. It was really cool to see/hear them in person.

A friend was asking me how it was and then asked if I had picked who I am voting for in our primary tomorrow. I ended up telling her, and she proceeded to go off, telling me that that particular candidate is, let's see, "the devil". NICE!!! It went on from there, but I stopped listening!

This is why I don't discuss politics!

[hellokitty]

I agree. Some ppl get too fired up about politics, it makes for unpleasant company. I don't feel like hearing someone spout off, just b/c they don't agree with me, when outside of politics, we get along just fine.

[elektra]

It's so funny because DH's whole side of the family are WAY right wing Republicans all the way. My father in law has a hobby of watching Fox News, reading all the Ann Coulter/Mike Savage/Bill O'Reilly books, and basically talking about it all. the. time.
I basically disagree with everything that comes out of his mouth in regards to politics, but do I say anything? No. Neither one of us is going to change the other's mind. And I really would not get much out of an argument with him. If he actually asked me my opinion, I would definitely let him know how I really felt though. He just has never asked! I guess he assumes everyone thinks as he does, or he doesn't care if they don't. Fine by me though as I really don't see the point in discussing it.
In another case, my best friend that I have know since we were 10 years old (so basically way before we had formed any political opinions) are almost at separate ends of the spectrum in terms of our politcal stances. However, we are still great friends and since neither of us are political activists by any means, it works out just fine. We can even talk about basic political stuff if it ever comes up and just agree to disagree.

[amconwa]

No doubt. The issues are so thrilling and important, and I suppose that is why everyone gets riled up. Still, I always end up keeping my mouth shut when I'd really rather not because the person I'm talking to can't handle a different opinion. I mean, REALLY, can't handle another's opinion. It's as if you're attacking them personally. If it can't be a mature discussion, it just can't be!

[trales]

DH and I were so worried about the meeting of the parents, his parents were members of the NY Liberal party and have communist leanings, my father worships Rush Limbaugh as a personal God. We had a list of dinner topics to keep the conversation going so it would even come close to politics.

At the end of the night all parties behaved nicely. I think the stern talking to my sister gave my father really helped.

We live in NH and during the primaries whenever people got into a debate or asked my opinion I always responded "I am still weighing all the options and would like to hear all the candidates in person before I make a decision". Of course that led to being put on all kinds of mailing lists and getting 100's of phone calls, but it made being a SAHM more interesting for a few months. And I did get to see a lot of really cool candidates on both sides. It was fun, I think it is always more fun when you keep and open mind.

[1964pandora]

I agree with all of you. It's difficult to discuss politics, especially if you don't know which way the other person leans. Also, it's so personal, especially if you're MOVED by one of the candidates. I just happen to be one of those people who are MOVED by Barak Obama, but I get that there are lots of people who aren't the least bit moved by him. I have a friend who calls him "icky!" ICKY! Well, I know that I can't really talk to her about him, and I just keep my mouth shut. Yes, it really is just about keeping your mouth shut about this stuff.

[gatorsmom]

I so hear you. Interestingly, my husband and I are in agreement on what the problems are that need to be solved in this country but we both have believe in different ways of solving them. On so many topics!!! For example, we both agree the US needs to get out of relations with the middle east and find other ways to solve our energy problems. But I'm for alternative methods like wind, solar and hydropower and he thinks we should drill in Alaska!!

We just don't discuss it anymore. sigh.

[kedss]

Dh and I are polar opposites when it comes to politics, but we can sit and talk(when our DS lets us get a word in) about it peacefully. He's conservative, I'm liberal, though we aren't really party aligned except when we have to tell them which ballot we want. :)

We have learned to deal with it by listening to each other, laughing when we think each other is ridiculous, but we let each other be who we are.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

I'm late to the party but I wanted to agree. Last friday mil came over for dinner and dh and she started argueing about hillary vs. barack. I love my mil but sometimes she can be a really oblivious. She started raising her voice and interrupting dh in midsentance. DD got scared and came into the office. I had to reassure her that everything was ok and then I said in a volume loud enough to be overheard "oh honney, daddy and grandma aren't fighting, they're just talking about politics. Don't be upset it's ok."

Needless to say they both shut up and were very apologetic. I doubt it will happen again. I don't mind discussing politics but there's no reason to raise your voice or interrupt. When that happens I'm out of the conversation.

[kijip]

I think there is a big difference between talking politics and demonizing people/arguing for no good reason. I can often enjoy discussing politics and current events with a wide range of people on a wide range of issues. But I can't talk to people, about pretty much ANYTHING, whose idea of discussing it including name calling or general childishness on either side. Just this last weekend I had a spirited discussion over dinner with a friend of mine that I disagree with on most such topics and we each walked away a little wiser and remaining ever impressed with the other's grasp of the issues and refusal to argue. :) Frankly, it sounds like an issue with your friend and not politics in general.

[gatorsmom]

Frankly, it sounds like an issue with your friend and not politics in general.

I think it's somewhere in between. I'll admit, if someone draws me into a political discussion where they are even being a small bit disrespectful or interrupting, I get offended. Then I get defensive. I have a hard time controlling myself when people who are discussing politics with me get pushy and dismissive. But with people and friends (and I do have some) who honestly ENJOY discussing the issues, we can mull over different points and come away better people.

But in my experience, MANY people have a hard time discussing politics and religion because they have strong feelings about them. (that said, I do think the friend has issues if she considers a polititcal candidate "the devil.")

[elektra]

I just had to add to this thread after a discussion DH and I had this morning. He was telling me how President Bush had just signed the deal/plan/(?) that would increase the amount a home loan could be for, before it went into the Jumbo category with the higher interest rate. I think it is now $700k+, up from the $410k or whatever it was before. (This is good news for us, BTW, being potential first time buyers in CA.) Anyway, I said "it looks like the Democrats won out because the Republicans wanted to cap it at $600k something." SO then he said something like "Go Democrats", to which I replied, "aren't you a Republican?"
So then he pauses and says, "I'm a woodworker". So what he was basically saying was that he just wasn't really wanting to get into any kind of political discussion or argument. Sometimes it's just not worth the energy, especially when you are trying to get out the door and off to work. :)

[KBecks]

But in my experience, MANY people have a hard time discussing politics and religion because they have strong feelings about them. (that said, I do think the friend has issues if she considers a polititcal candidate "the devil.")


The trouble is, what may be a completely benign comment to one person may be incredibly offensive to another. Especially when any listener is feeling defensive and "reads into" whatever is being said. So sometimes it's very difficult to discuss politics and issues because people can bring a great deal of baggage to the table and aren't able to take alternative views at face value.