Parents to go to trial for death of baby while co-sleeping

[mom2binsd]

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_8280058

From Salt Lake Tribune

I just don't understand, their first baby also died while sleeping in the bed with them....wouldn't you maybe re-think having the next baby in the bed...why not use a co-sleeper beside the bed or bassinet if they wanted the baby in the room. With both my children I was militant about buying only the firmest mattress, tightest fitting sheets, no bumpers, no blankets (DS still loves his sleepsack), keeping room cool and I can't imagine if I'd lost one child how many more precautions I would have taken with the second.

[gatorsmom]

http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_8280058


I just don't understand, their first baby also died while sleeping in the bed with them....wouldn't you maybe re-think having the next baby in the bed...

Exactly. This just makes me sooo mad. It's stupid people like this who give cosleeping a bad name. I don't even like to tell people that i"m cosleeping with the twins. And now, with this coming out in the news, people will especially be asking "Did i see that article?" "Are you being safe about it?" "Do you know the risks of killing those babies?" I always put them in their place with something like, "do YOU know the risks of a sleep-deprived mom forgetting a baby in a shopping cart at Target?" arggg...

[mom2binsd]

Lisa (have enjoyed so many of your posts since the twins were born, how do you find time to post though with 4 kiddos!),

I agree there are safe ways to co-sleep and for many families all over the world it is the norm but this families situation doesn't seem right.

[gatorsmom]

LOL. Apparently the sleep deprivation IS affecting me. I was trying to agree with your original post. Their situation doesn't seem right. They absolutely should have learned their lesson after the first baby's death. They should not have been cosleeping at all because clearly they didn't know how to safely do that.

That is why I was mad. Because they killed their baby and now critics of co-sleeping will use this to fuel their arguments. When you and I agree that if done carefully, it can be safe.

Oh, and I post while nursing the twins which I do ALL THE TIME (I tandem nurse- it frees up my hands). If I didn't have these message boards, I think sometimes I'd lose my mind!!

[Pennylane]

What an awful story! Hopefully this will help raise awareness of safe co-sleeping.

Ann

[Sillygirl]

I suspect there's more to the story. This does not pass the sniff test, so to speak. One cosleeping death - rare, but it does happen. Two in a row? There are other issues in this family. I agree with the decision to prosecute.

[jawilli4]

I totally agree that something is not right with this. Reading this thread reminded me of the way that SIDS was originally coined, through a doctor incorrectly identifying infanticide by a parent or caregiver as a new medical condition. I also agree that this family is giving co-sleeping a bad reputation. Done responsibly there is nothing wrong with it, just as there is nothing wrong with putting your baby to sleep on her stomach. However, there is such societal pressure and misinformation that we are made to feel guilty even though we shouldn't. No matter what, this is a really sad and maddening story.

Here's the link to the book The Death of Innocents: A True Story of Murder, Medicine, and High-Stake Science about the origination of SIDS if anyone wants it: http://tinyurl.com/2bs5jq

[StantonHyde]

I live in Salt Lake--this will be an interesting story to follow. I just get the feeling that something is not right with these people.

[Melanie]

ITA, I don't think this passes the sniff test either. And it will give co-sleeping a bad name. What was their 24 day old doing on it's tummy in their bed? Not likely that it rolled on it's own. I don't think even my 3 1/2 mo's rolled on their own in bed.

[Marisa6826]

there is nothing wrong with putting your baby to sleep on her stomach.

Well, there is actual statistical data demonstrating that infants are less likely to die of in their sleep (whether from SIDS, or whatever you want to call it) when sleeping on their backs (according to the National Institute of Child Health and Development, the number of deaths has declined by over 50% in the time frame of their "back to sleep" campaign). So it's not exactly as if there's NOTHING wrong with putting them on their stomachs.

The fact of the matter is that you (the proverbial you), as an INFORMED PARENT, need to be willing to accept the risks involved (as with every other decision you make for your children).

Nonetheless, the entire situation with this particular family is sad, and it definitely seems as though there's more to the story. Two babies in a row don't just inexplicably die - especially one that was totally 'healthy' the day before at a Ped visit. :(

-m

[kijip]

This was not a cosleeping accident. Co-sleeping is their cover/excuse/defense or the prosecution's charge/newspaper headline...two kids in a row? Someone is either a cold blooded murderer or has seriously tragic mental heath issues. Or the babies were ill.

[writermama]

Unbelieveably tragic.

Of course the article isn't enough information to know what really happened, but it's frustrating to see co-sleeping as a concept blamed. If the deaths had occurred (as they usually do) with a child in a crib, there would be no rush to condemn "crib-sleeping" as unsafe.

In this case, it could be genuine SIDS, could be a Muchausen by Proxy murder, could be accidental death, could be previously undiagnosed medical conditions (that menengitis in the autopsy findings seems important, despite the ped thinking the baby was "perfectly healthy").

But really, what it is, is unbelieveably sad.

[bunnisa]

There are too many unknowns to pass any judgments yet... how do we know this isn't SIDS? or a vaccine reaction? Yes, twice is unusual, but definitely not impossible with siblings, especially if it was a reaction.

I hate how the media is always quick to crucify anyone not following "accepted cultural norms," and blame the situation on their "different" choices, regardless of the facts involved. These parents may be guilty of something, or they may not, but unfortunately we can't count on the media to give us a fair and balanced picture of the situation.

Either way, it's terribly sad. :(

[Globetrotter]

ITA with this. Co-sleeping is an easy target. I can't IMAGINE society banning cribs because of a SIDS death where the child died in the crib, as is usually the case. A lot of people in this part of the world aren't comfortable with "co-sleeping".

In this case we really don't know for sure what happened, whether the parents are doing something terrible, if it was accidental or there are genuine natural causes. It's a tragedy regardless.

Kris

[QUOTE=writermama]Unbelieveably tragic.

Of course the article isn't enough information to know what really happened, but it's frustrating to see co-sleeping as a concept blamed. If the deaths had occurred (as they usually do) with a child in a crib, there would be no rush to condemn "crib-sleeping" as unsafe.

[ShanaMama]

I've hesitated to post this for a while, but I've thought a lot about this thread and I'm really disturbed by something. I agree that this situation is tragic. Two babies dying is certainly unusual & cause for suspicion. But I feel that there seems to be a rush to judgement against these parents by many of the pp. I am NOT suggesting that they did nothing wrong. For all I know this could've been murder or even just gross negligence. But I also know that stories usually get distorted as they are reported in the media. Who even knows how many of the facts are being reported correctly? The article I read was very vague, but things like baby's exact age & position could definitely be inaccurate.
I think many of the pp were just frustrated that the death is being blamed on cosleeping, which is already somewhat unconventional around here. This story is practically screaming that there's more info yet to be discovered. What surprised and saddened (sp?) me is how quick some of us have been to condemn the parents. I've always found this community to be so supportive of all different types of parents, going thru all kinds of challenges. For some reason I'm finding the opposite in this case. Isn't this still innocent-until-proven-guilty-America?