Grief SUCKS!!

[StantonHyde]

Yeah, I know, this is 2 bitches in one day--stress, much?? Today is my birthday which is ok but it is also my mom's birthday. My mom died 1.5 years ago and she was my best friend in the whole world. For the last 2 weeks, I have been walking underwater, moving in slow mo, with a wet blanket over my head. It doesn't matter how much chocolate I eat, how much I do at work or with the kids, how nice my DH is etc etc--it is even sunny and nice out. I do exercise and I always feel better during and after but then...Doesn't matter--I am in a blue fog.

I am better today than I have been the last 2 weeks. Its sort of like your period, you're bitchy and distracted and bleah and then bam, the fog lifts and you are ok again. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow, I'm already on meds, I exercise almost every day, and by tomorrow I have to stop eating chocolate! So yes, it will get better. But ugh--I HATE it!!!!

Where does this crap come from? It's my subconcious ganging up on me! Last year I went to a work conference so I had something to look forward to and be distracted by. Maybe I will try that again next year--it seems to work and it beats 2 weeks under a wet blanket!

Blech, blech, blech.

[KBecks]

I'm so sorry.

[hellokitty]

I'm sorry. :hug:

[elizabethkott]

(((((Hugs)))))
May you find your way to a peaceful, settled heart.

[Twoboos]

Rebecca, I am so sorry.

If it helps at all, your words of advice and encouragement truly made a difference to me today.

[tylersmama]

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[bubbaray]

:hug:
:hug:
:hug:

[gatorsmom]

I'm so very sorry. I know exactly how you feel. My mom was my best friend in the world and she died nearly 3 years ago. I was 7 months pregnant at the time she died.

The only thing I can tell you is to experience each moment. Even the ones filled with grief. It may seem unthinkable to sit out the difficult moment and think about what you are feeling and why, but it's one of the best ways to deal with the pain and get over it. I've always felt that grief comes in waves- you may be feeling fine for awhile but just wait for the next wave to come! But like waves, they get smaller over time. So don't avoid them, just live them.

Big hugs, you are not alone!

[oneplustwo]

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this. Big hugs!

[Kungjo]

So sorry that you're feeling this way. Hugs!

[jal]

I can partially symathize with you as well. I wasn't as close to my mom as it sounds like you were to your's, but I've been suprized at just how much the death of my mom (about the same time as your's) has affected me. We too were pregnant at the time, she didn't get to live to see her latest grandchild.

[StantonHyde]

Thanks for the support. I "popped out" of it by Weds/Thurs. When I talked to my therapist on Thursday, I realized I need to make a "coping plan" for what will probably be the next potential pit fall--Mother's Day. I will put it in my daytimer so it is there to remind me!! I mean I could have called my therapist for a brief phone consult, I need to plan some activities etc etc. Now that I am not seeing the therapist on a regular basis, I will make sure I have an appointment a week before the anticipated date etc etc. And I think I need this more now that I am in the second year and you sort of "forget" or you think you are fine and then BAM it hits you at certain times.

I tell ya, personal growth is great for OTHER people :-)