Fairy Parent Poll --> TV

[Fairy]

Quite some time ago, I did one of my very first Fairy Parent Polls about TV watching and how much TV watching went on at home. Now that time has passed and we have so many newer folks on the board, I thought I'd do it again, only this time I'd like to know your philosophy, rather than action.

I used to be more on the anti-TV side, and for the really young -- like under 18 months for sure, I'm still there. But I really feel that there are so many educational shows -- I mean, seriously, what's not educational on Noggin (well, there are a couple things I think are insipid, so ... there are a few we avoid)? When we finally bit the bullet on DS's speech delay, I have to tell you, much as I hate the show -- and I do, it makes me nuts -- I cannot deny that DS's speech improved dramatically thanks to Dora and Diego. He wanted to play along and sing Backpack and Rescue Pack and go on the adventure with their words like nobody's business. And then you have Sesame Street. 'Nuff said, there. So, for age 2 and above, I'm in Option 3 World. For true babies? Under a year old especailly? I'm in Option One World.

Thanks for voting!

-- Fairy

[katydid1971]

DS is limited to Signing Time DVD (DS says DDDs) and Sesame Street. I really don't want to have to buy all the stuff the goes with Dora or Thomas, etc. I think that Signing Time is an excelent program and DS knew his whole alphabet before the age of 2 because of those DDDs.

[KHF]

I think I fall somewhere between option 3 and 4. I think some shows do have limited benefit, I think my daughter has also really benefitted from some of the stuff on Dora...more so Diego. (And I really, really tried to avoid that show, but with the kids in her school all into it, it was impossible.) The one show we have been completely successful at avoiding is Barney. She doesn't even know who he is! yay!

I do try to limit the kinds of shows she watches. My DH insists on watching Sponge Bob with her (or as DD calls it, Bob Bob Square)...I can't deal with that cartoon and I don't think it's appropriate for my 2.5 year old. I'm trying to convince DH of that. But, we do watch Max & Ruby, Little Bear, Franklin and, my favorite, the Backyardigans. Lately she's been into dancing, so the Backyardigans is fun for that.

That being said, I've been a TV addict for most of my adult life...sad, but true. I'm hoping to get DD to be somewhat less addicted than I am.

ETA: to the previous poster... My DD loved the Baby Signing Time videos, and still asks for those sometimes, but she never really took to the regular Signing Time videos...I tried.

[bethie_73]

We started with no TV. And when DS was around 6m we introduced Signing Time. Which I think is a great series, we still use sign language. At around 18m I started to work from home... and TV was introduced. I still say too much is bad, and that you really need to interact with your children and not use it as a sitter. But I have used it as a sitter, if he'll watch something on TV and I can get a shower or some work done. I've done it. I will usually watch it with him and we sing the songs and play along. At 2 he seems to be doing well.

[Drag0nflygirl]

We don't have cable - so that cuts out about 3/4 of anything I'd have to worry about. We tend to stick to PBS and some of the Qubo stuff on NBC Saturday mornings. Most of the time she ignores it and plays with something else anyway.
Nancy
DD Cara 10-25-05

[momtoonegirl]

Most of the time DD (2 years old) will watch Sesame Street and possibly Super Why on PBS, but thats about it. She is too busy playing with dolls or playing in her kitchen to sit in front of the TV. Sometimes on Saturday AM, we will have Playhouse Disney in the background so she may watch Little Einsteins or Handy Manny. Overall I would say she watches an hour or less per day (mostly 1/2 hour). I am usually in the room watching the shows with her.
When she was younger, she wasn't interested in TV at all. I would say that she became interested in the last 4-5 months. I think the most helpful shows have been Sesame Street and Super Why. She counts a little and says letters of the alphabet when she is washing her hands or sitting on the potty. She can also spell her name. I think the shows make learning fun and interesting for her.
Of the choices that you gave, I think I fall somewhere between 2 and 3.

(Edited for clarity)

[ThreeofUs]

I think most TV programs are worthless, but we watch George (on DVD) and talk about both his adventures and the adventures the kids' segments explain. As a family, we've learned a lot together.

I also think there is a huge difference between parking your kids in front of the screen vs. being there and interacting about what you are both seeing. The interaction takes the "poor substitute for parental interaction" (as TV/computers/movies are called in the research) and changes it into a vehicle for conversation, and a aide to imagination.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm also between 3-4. I don't like the idea of TV as a babysitter but I don't think that some tv in moderation is a horrible thing. Whenever I notice us slipping into couch potato land I turn off the tv and we do something outside the house, bake something, or play a game.

Beth

[elizabethkott]

I"m an option 2 gal. DS loves Sprout tv (all pbs, all the time!). For a 14 mo, I'm sort of surprised how much he loves Super Why and Dragon Tales. I've also found that the TV helps my picky eater eat!!! He gets distracted, and I'm able to shovel stuff in there! I know, it's sad and pathetic, but some days when it's been two days of him not eating, I'm grateful for any technique that will get some food in that belly!

[lizajane]

i used to stress about it. but then i realized my kid never chooses TV over playing outside, spending time with me or DH, spending time with friends, and he never really sits and watches anyway. he usually gets up and plays with toys or his brother and ignores it. i think he has some sensory seeking SID and the background noise helps him focus, oddly enough.

i am more concerned about dylan because even though his behavior is the same as schuyler's concerning the TV (mostly ignores it and plays with his brother) he ASKS for it more. and that bugs me. when the wild child is at school all day, we will probably leave it off more because mommy will be less stressed. and sadly, the tv goes on when mommy is tired. do i use it as a babysitter? when i am at my breaking point, yes i do. better the TV talk to them for 15 minutes than mommy yell. do i think TV SHOULD be used as a babysitter, no. but i certainly won't try to sit on my own personal high horse and say i have never done it.

[Marisa6826]

When the Sophie was 8-10m old, we did Baby Einstein. Basically so that I could get a few minutes to shower, make dinner, throw in a load of laundry, etc. She LOVED them. She asked for them, she would dance to them, she learned her colours, animals, sounds, etc. We got our money's worth from those DVDs and then some. In fact, sometimes the girls STILL ask to watch the Farm or Animal ones.

The only live TV the girls are permitted to watch is Noggin and Sproutlets (PBS). Everything else is literally blocked from them. No Disney (I'm not crazy about some of the older kid shows they have, and I don't like the commercials), no Nickelodeon, no Nick Jr. Sesame Street is big here, as is Backyardigans, Dora, WonderPets, Little Bill, Pinky Dinky Doo. Blues Clues comes and goes. Oh, and Arthur seems to be a recent fave.

Yes, they watch videos - usually Land Before Time (Mia's fave), or My Little Pony (Sophie's fave). Their movies are all exclusively G-rated, save a very limited few.

I'm sure there are some Mommies here that would emphatically say my kids watch too much TV - but hey, to each her own. ;)

-m

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

We're somewhere between 3 and 4. When dd was little we didn't have cable. Once we signed up for the bundle package there were rules and we've tried to stick by them. Dd watches about 30 min in the morning and it's usually a movie. Ds watches his hour in the morning when wakeing,usually it's noggin or pbs simply because commercials irritate him to no end!

I've been trying to keep a leash on the tele. beast because dd's teacher says when dd watches less television she concentrates better at school. So I'm kind of proud that right now we're down to about an hour a day for her and maybe 2 hours a day for ds now during winter. We watch our shows mostly on demand simply to have our favs when we want them :D.

Usually we watch backyardigans,diego,dora,sesame street or if we're very lucky we catch mr.rogers :yay:

Our biggest problem is the computer-dd likes to play games to have time alone at the end of the day. And while I understand how she feels I have difficulty deciding whether or not it counts as tv time. So that's where we are right now.

[mudder17]

I wasn't quite sure how to vote, but #2 is probably closest to our philosophy. We started Kaya with Signing Times at around 14 months, but she didn't really watch more than 5 minutes at a time (she just didn't want to sit there that long watching it) until maybe 16-18 months. Then she might watch for about 20 minutes. Sometime between 18 months and 2 years, she became interested enough to watch the whole episode, though not always. That's also around the time when she asked to watch an episode. She basically watched 30 minutes of a video per day after that, though again, it wasn't every day. Around 3, we started letting her watch other videos and we would just split them into 30 minute intervals. These days, she gets about 45 minutes of a video or computer game per day and some days she just wants to play all day (and I'll let her play longer if I'm having a tired day) and other days she doesn't ask to watch or play all day. Honestly, she'd rather that we go to the park, but sadly, we don't get to do that enough.

Mika so far doesn't seem all that interested. She does watch occasionally if we have the signing times on (she loves listening to the soundtrack and always starts dancing when the first track comes on), but doesn't watch much past the opening scene, LOL. She really loves that tune for some reason.

So our view is that as much as tv is full of crap, there are some occasional things and for us as adults, we watch some of that crap and some of that good stuff for entertainment. Generally speaking, I don't want Kaya to watch crap, which is why we have limited her mostly to videos (except when she's at a friend's house) and those are currently Signing Times, Scholastic Video, and some Disney/Kid-type videos. Some are better than others in their educational value and some are just pure entertainment and I believe they each have their place.

[Clarity]

I picked #1, but lately am a bit of a hypocrite. DD is 20 months, and just in the last month or so, we've allowed her to watch bits of Animal Planet and a little PBS here and there - I find that I even enjoy "Word World" Anyhow, it's mostly on Sunday mornings so that we can get a bit of sleep (5am wakeups - but that's another post.)
I've also found that it's this long cold winter that has killed my resistance to TV a bit. We've a bit of cabin fever and are simply tired of the toys in the house - if I have to climb in that playhut bus one more time, I just might scream! Spring, where are you???

[dr mom]

I voted #1, and I truly believe that 99% of what is offered for children's media entertainment is total crap - thinly veiled marketing, designed to sell product, not to educate children.

Having said that, I will confess to my own hypocrisy. DS has his own little DVD collection, carefully screened by Mommy (Signing Time, Mr. Rogers) and when he's sick (or if I'm sick) we camp on the couch together and watch his movies. Developmentally beneficial? Probably not, although we do talk about the content of what we are watching together. But also probably not harmful, since we use TV very sparingly.

We do not have cable and do not watch regular TV, because I don't want DS exposed to the commercial messages. I have major issues with advertising targeted to children.

DS does get some supervised computer time, less than 30 min/day at starfall.com; you asked about TV specifically, but I tend to count all media and screen time the same, and limit it accordingly.

I know...I probably sound crazy strict...I just hate commercial television.

[brittone2]

It is probably not a surprise, but I voted for #1. That doesn't mean that I think everyone should share this philosophy with me, but that's what works for us.

DS has seen the occasional sporting event (the Superbowl) and bits here and there of college basketball. DH has showed him the rare YouTube clip (DS likes a video clip of Footloose LOL, which is a song we play around here when we're feeling especially goofy).

I think some shows are probably less commercialized than others, but I still have concerns that it is a gateway to other TV shows or just relying on media for entertainment in general once you start down that path. Personally, I also don't buy that there is much educational content in kids' TV, even if it is marketed as such. When DS was very young I read Endangered Minds (Healy), then The Plug in Drug (Winn), Consuming Kids (Linn), and Buy Buy Baby (Gregory Thomas). Those books have shaped my view that TV watching does change brain activity, at least during viewing. The quickly changing frames, etc. sort of program the brain to like and expect that kind of fast-changing imagery. I don't recall if it was Endangered Minds or The Plug in Drug, but one or both of those also addresses the "educational" aspect of things like Sesame Street and goes into multiple studies refuting the claims of much educational gain. I think they refer to it as a "gloss of sophistication" where kids parrot back what they see, but in terms of retention, understanding, and application, there isn't much of a real educational gain. I also doubt that there is much that they can learn via TV that they can't learn more comprehensively or more quickly than they can through play, reading, etc. That doesn't mean you can't learn from TV (I remember Sesame Street teaching me to count to 10 in Spanish when I was a kid LOL), but how deep or complete that knowledge is, I have my doubts.

I'm sure we won't be TV free forever. DH and I do watch some TV/movies in our room when the kids are in bed (our only TV is in our bedroom, which isn't ideal, but it is out of sight and out of mind since it isn't in the living space. So far, DS (age 4) seems to care less that we don't watch TV. He's great at finding things to do, even when DD is napping in my lap. We have a bunch of audio CDs that he listens to.

For now, he's not missing it, and DD isn't interested (she's 14 months). As long as that is working for us, we're sticking with it. There isn't even an issue as far as I'm concerned because DS has no interest, and does not even request TV at this point.

Since you asked, I provided my reasons, but it isn't meant to be a judgment of others (since this issue has gotten somewhat heated in the past ;) ) We'll continue to re-evaluate and revisit the issue in our family as needed, but right now, for us it is a non issue to just skip it entirely for DC.

[BeachBum]

I voted #1, but I'm really between #1 &#2.
We didn't let DS watch any TV before a year. We didn't watch anything with any sense of regularity before 18 mo. Regularity, I mean a couple of times a week.

At 2.5 my kid is addicted. He loves TV in a scary way. No matter what is on he is watching it. It could be the news and he's totally into it. He begs, whines and cries to watch "one of my shows". If it is on he doesn't play--he just totally zones into the show. He has a very long attention span for it (has no problem watching a full length movie). It is totally crazy.
I don't know if it is just his personality, or if it is because I limited TV early on. None of our "friends" have a similar situation. They keep the TV on as background noise most of the time. My kid has been able to "follow"/ comprehend the stories/ plot from the beginning. I hope it is from reading :)

I try to only let him watch a couple of times a week, but TV is a very slippery slope.

[Happy 2B mommy]

Well, in theory, I believe in #1, but we've practiced #2, especailly since DD turned 1, so that's the option I voted for. We don't have cable, so our choices are limited and I like it that way. We have 2 Baby Einstein dvds and DD would watch them about 1x a week when she was younger and I was desparate for a shower or needed to cook. She LOVES them. Now that she is 15 mo there is more I allow her to watch - maybe 10 minutes of Seasame Street while I get lunch ready and sometimes we'll watch Mr. Rogers together after lunch (Mr. Rogers was my favorite as a child, so it's more for me than DD). We'll go days w/o TV and then a day will come along and she'll watch 30 minutes to an hour (NOT at one sitting, before lunch, after lunch and then while I'm making supper and DH is working late.)

It does scare me how into TV she gets, and based on her reaction I completely believe that TV does affect the brain in a negetive way. DD has never had a problem watching a Baby E DVD all the way through and sometimes cries when we tell her it's all done and the tv "needs to go to sleep". But as another poster stated, this has been a long, cold winter and when we can't go out there is only so much I can take, so the tv gets turned on.

Kerri

DD 11/06

[Happy 2B mommy]

Ooops! DBl post

Kerri

DD 11/06

[Fairy]

These have been some really interesting responses, thank you so much for all the detail, Guys! I mirror much of what's been said.

* The thing that makes me crazy is the commercials. I will not let DS watch commercials, so we stay off of all Nick stations and Disney. One of the reasons I like(d) Noggin is cuz they have no commerecials. But last few months, they've snuck on some things that bothered me. For instance, there's the Lysol commercial that is just that -- a commercial. It's not selling kids cereal or anything, but they did, indeed, cross a line, so now where do they go from there. I also cannot stand the cross promotion of the other Nick stations on Noggin. They do SpongeBob promos on there, and now DS knows who that is. Ugh. They've also got a new show on there I questions significantly, and that's Yo Gabba Gabba. We don't even watch the promos, if they come on, the TV goes to the other tuner, whatever that might be.

* DS does lose interested quickly. Not always but often. He will start waatching something, then suddenly decide "I'm done" and go shut it off himself. I'm so proud when he does that -- except those times I really needed that nap.

* Which leads to babysitting. Yep, I've done it. I don't think it's a good idea, but who does? The fact is, I've got too much going on in my life to not lean on the TV every now and then. I work part time, DH works out of town four days a week, I get about 4 hours of sleep a night, and stuff piles up. As some point, if I don't catch a nap, I'm going to do DS no favors, so the TV goes on, and Mommy goes on the couch to sleep. Sometimes, DS watches the TV while sitting on me as I'm laying down :-). Then there are the times work pings me, and I just have to address what they need. If I want my job, then this is the deal. So, yes, it happens.

* Slippery slope, indeed. Many references to that in this thread. Watch one excellent show that might be everything you ever wanted, it's still exceedingly difficult to leave it at that. Eventually, DC is gonna see something else that interests them, and then what? This is how we went from seven allowable shows for a long time, to everything on Noggin save a couple. DH started letting him watch Little Bear and Franklin. I didn't see a need for him to venture from Blue and Upside Down and Jack and Oobi. But now he loves Little Bear, and it's a very good show. Franklin I have to tell you, I don't care for, so we don't watch it much. I"m not thrilled that we do most of the Noggin shows, but that's how it happened. Now, on the other hand, we love -- and I mean FLOVE -- the Super Readers. DS just adores that show, and there's not much not to love on that one. He loves watching that and then going to his books and trying to find "superletters." Yay! But? Slippery Slope for absolute sure.

* Commercialism. Sesame Street, to me, is outstanding on alot of levels. But I think it used to be more outstanding in the late '70's. Now there's alot more computer animation, less human interaction on the show. And the commercialism is profound. Elmo can be found everywhere on everything going everywhere doing anything. It's shocking. Interestingly, DS isn't that interested in SS toys. But he does notice them and points them out when he sees them.

BTW, we're watching Sesme right now . . .

[kijip]

I voted 4, because I do believe that each person gets to decide. However, we live closer between 1 (none till age 2, not thinking there are many real gems) and 2 (having a few things he watches and I am fine with them) and have most often only had a small TV that is stored away and we have never had cable or the like so I don't even have access to channels. Our limited closet space and small house have combined to mean that the TV either lives in our bedroom or the living room, covered. I have found that with rare exception, my IRL friends and others that make the biggest deal about TV being bad for kids actually have kids that watch TV more and and for longer than Toby. Most of them also have cable, which baffles me because I think that I vote with my dollars to not support those commericals. Toby watches stuff on DVD on average a few times a week (sometimes more, often less) and he rarely just sits in front of it...usually he is playing along with it. He is 4 and 1/2. His first time watching was around 2 or so. His DVDs are mostly Thomas, Charlie Brown, Caillou, Dora and old school Sesame Street. There have been different times that included a lot more TV watching...like when he was sick with the croup a couple weeks ago. I don't think it is really educational, but I don't think it is really damaging either given the modest amount and the fact that he is clearly bright and engaged in the world. FWIW, I have friends who have no issues with TV whose children watch a lot more than Toby and they are equally bright and engaging. Maybe there are some toddlers that would choose TV over playing in the yard or building blocks or reading a huge portion of the time, but IME, I have not seen that yet.

[pb&j]

In theory I'm a 1, but in practice, I'm a 2. DS watched no TV at all until he was about 18m old, and now watches 1-2 episodes of WonderPets, Little Bear, or Jack's Big Music Show per day. DS takes after both his parents, and when he gets home from day care, he needs a little while to just sit and veg out. So he gets some time to himself to suck his thumb and watch TV. Usually, he gets himself together, and before the end of the episode he's up and running around doing other things. But I can't begrudge him his downtime - he really needs it.

I really dislike that he watches TV at all, but we Tivo a few select commercial-free shows, and for all he knows, those are the only shows ever on TV. I will keep him away from commercial TV for as long as humanly possible. And unless he's sick, we definitely put a limit on the amount of TV he watches. And as much as possible, I try to sit with him while he watches, and not use it as a babysitter, but sometimes a girl has to shower!

[californiagirl]

I didn't vote because we're not really in any of the categories. We don't watch TV because we don't watch TV, and it's certainly not so important that you'd go out and buy a TV just so your kid could watch it. DD does watch DVDs, but she gets a maximum of one a week unless she's sick. This week she watched probably a dozen, including basically 2 straight days of Rocky and Bullwinkle -- that dates back to an era when a season was a SERIOUS amount of TV. Most weeks she watches nothing.

[jhrabosk]

TV actually serves the EXACT same purpose in our house, Ry. So funny...I say the same thing about it being her post-daycare downtime.

It's also the only way that DH or I can get a decent dinner on the table, so in that sense I am guilty of using it as a little bit of a babysitter. But, I figure that one episode of Dora or Sesame (the only shows we Tivo) is an ok tradeoff of a healthy, homecooked meal.

As she gets older and is able to do more, I've started trying to find things she can "help" with in the kitchen. Some days she totally goes for it and doesn't ask for the TV...some days she doesn't.

[hillview]

We are a no TV place. That is mainly b/c DH doesn't like it at all and it seems like something that would be hard to manage once DS started wanting to watch. So it sits in the office unwatched. DS is 2.5 and is allowed a DVD on long airplane rides. He doesn't seem to miss it. When he goes to preschool am sure that will be another story. With 2 kids now I can see what a great babysitter it would be but it isn't in our near future.

/hillary

[bubbaray]

Well, I'm a total hypocrit. I voted #1, but definitely do NOT practice that. The TV is on a lot here, but not on kids programming. I think my kids know all the Y&R characters and we have the evening news on in the background while prepping and eating dinner. In the morning while I'm racing around getting ready and trying to get out the door on time, they watch Curious George and Clifford on PBS. On weekends, the TV is on a lot, but its usually kids music via satellite. The girls have also seen a lot of sports on TV. Both are huge fans of ski racing. The Tour de France was DD#2s favorite thing for a loooong time in July.

DD#1 wasn't interested in TV until she was about 2.5. DD#2 is more interested in TV, but its on more because I definitely DO use it to babysit DD#1 while I'm getting ready in the mornings and at dinnertime. We have a ton of DVDs. We started using them more when DD#1 needed nebulizer treatments starting at 13m. Frankly, I don't know how people get their kids to take neb treatments without using DVDs or TV.

We've tried DVDs in the car on long trips, but they aren't a hit.

[Fairy]

We started using them more when DD#1 needed nebulizer treatments starting at 13m. Frankly, I don't know how people get their kids to take neb treatments without using DVDs or TV.

This is exactly us. There was no real TV in our house (other than infancy fussytime for my own sanity) until 16 mo when we started Neb treatments and he was (not) diagnosed with asthma. He sometimes gets 4 a day, so that's alot of TV, but we manage it as best we can and just choose the best shows for him that we can.

[KBecks]

Alek recently learned the word "fascinating" from a television program. He picks up phrases from Caillou -- the funniest one -- "I lost that years ago!" OK kiddo, you're 3 years old. :)

I don't love TV because it's so passive, but I don't think it's evil if the programs are age-appropriate.

It's important to be careful though -- we started watching Max & Ruby and Ruby called something "disgusting". That's not a way I would like my kids to speak about things, so I'm going to have to be very watchful about what they're exposed to even at this age. I'm not as watchful as I should be with Noggin, Sprout and PBS. Alek thinks SuperWhy is scary so we don't watch it, and I don't want content to bother him.

We were watching Top Gear (adult BBC America show about cars) and he told me the next day he had a dream about sports cars driving up mountains, which was exactly what was shown on that show. Everything they see sinks in.

ETA: My biggest concern is the fact that it is habit forming. My kids watch television every day now, and it's a part of their lifestyle. I was frustrated that I was raised by a family of couch potatoes and so Dave and I make an effort to have family outings and playtime with the TV off. The big thing for us will be to limit the time to a reasonable amount. Same with internet. I'm an online addict but I need to change behaviors so my kids don't pick up that it's the way to be.

[Fairy]

Karen, I also question Max & Ruby. Max always looks like he's getting away with something or plotting to take over the world. If I wanted that, I'd watch Pinky & the Brain, which is also alot funnier on every level.

[Melanie]

I know some of you who voted that you are of the #1 mindset but closer to #2 cannot imagine life without TV for your kids. You want it that way, but can't fathom getting there. You CAN DO IT! We were in that same camp for a while. Ds didn't watch much when he was little but sometimes I'd have it on for new mommy sanity (HGTV or the like). Occasionally specific Animal Planet shows. Then I got PG with Dd. I would drag myself out of bed and to the couch and plug him into Blues Clues for sometimes 4 epsides (TiVo! Why I didn't think of making my own video so I got straight sleep I'll never understand). It was horrible on my conscience, but so is 1st trimester is exhaustion. Anyway, as my pregnancy went on we cut back to maybe one in the AM and one in the PM, then less and less. After Dd was born we unplugged him (okay, he didnt' see a direct correlation, I should point out, with new baby). At first he did ask and I would always just redirect with "We don't have time. We're going to do XYZ fun thing!" After a while he stopped asking.

Life is fantastic without TV for the kids. He started playing more and more easily on his own, his imagination which I never thought was lacking has blossomed beyond belief. I love that when he plays he plays and is not just regurgitating whatever situations some adult wrote for Kids' Tv.

Really, you can do it!

[kayte]

We started out with no tv but then started watching Signing Time on the dvr form PBS. Now we watch the dvr-ed eisodes and occasionally check the videos out from the library. In addition she gets a good dose of golf and football (though she is really just playing in the room where we are watching and doesn't pa attention) on the weekends, but no other children's programming.

[bubbaray]

I know some of you who voted that you are of the #1 mindset but closer to #2 cannot imagine life without TV for your kids. You want it that way, but can't fathom getting there. You CAN DO IT! We were in that same camp for a while. Ds didn't watch much when he was little but sometimes I'd have it on for new mommy sanity (HGTV or the like). Occasionally specific Animal Planet shows. Then I got PG with Dd. I would drag myself out of bed and to the couch and plug him into Blues Clues for sometimes 4 epsides (TiVo! Why I didn't think of making my own video so I got straight sleep I'll never understand). It was horrible on my conscience, but so is 1st trimester is exhaustion. Anyway, as my pregnancy went on we cut back to maybe one in the AM and one in the PM, then less and less. After Dd was born we unplugged him (okay, he didnt' see a direct correlation, I should point out, with new baby). At first he did ask and I would always just redirect with "We don't have time. We're going to do XYZ fun thing!" After a while he stopped asking.

Life is fantastic without TV for the kids. He started playing more and more easily on his own, his imagination which I never thought was lacking has blossomed beyond belief. I love that when he plays he plays and is not just regurgitating whatever situations some adult wrote for Kids' Tv.

Really, you can do it!


Um, but that's my point. I don't WANT to. Seriously. My girls are in daycare full time and generally don't watch TV there (once a week if the weather is nasty, they have a movie afternoon). They watch TV when I DO NOT HAVE TIME to deal with them. As in racing around, getting dressed, packing backpacks, last minute lunches, throwing dinner on the table. For the most part at those times, they are both playing with other things and the TV is just "on" in the background. They rarely watch it as in staring at it. DD#1 only truly watches it if she's sick or having a nebulizer treatment. DD#2 has the attention span of a gnat and really only watches the Telus commercials (animal ones with catchy music, DD#1 liked them at that age too).

That was my point. I *think* no TV is, in some other, alternative universe, better, but I do NOT live there.

Yes, I would prefer not to watch the news during dinner, but if its not on, I don't have a clue what's going on in the world and I need to for work. Once the kids are in bed, I do their lunches, get out my clothes for the next day and then go to bed myself.

[american_mama]

I voted #1 because that is generally my philosophical belief, especially for toddlers like the question asked, but I don't practice it at all. The kids watch TV almost daily in my house, for longer than I'd like to admit.

I arrange speakers for my MOMS CLub and next month, we have a child psychologist coming to speak about children and TV watching. I am really curious what she will say and how the members will react.

I thought I'd try to mention some dilemmas I have that I suspect others share:

* disagreement with DH about how much TV is ok and what shows are ok. He grew up with more TV, still likes TV on in the background, and even wants to bond with the kids via a TV show (specifically, America's Funnist Home Videos, which I don't think is appropriate for kids, but which he wants to amke a weekly event). Why can't he bond with them playing on the floor or being outside with them?

* general screen time. Many times, if I turn off the TV, the kids go right for the computer, where - shocker - they often play computer games based on TV shows. Putting that computer genie back in the bottle is hard, especially since the computer is my addiction.

* the quality of children's TV. I may not be able to articulate this well, but I honestly think some beloved kids' TV is actually rather negative. For instance, in Clifford, the Jenna charcter is always being proven wrong at the end, but I wonder if the major lesson my kids learn from her is how to be obnoxious. In Thomas, the trains always play tricks and often never bear any responsibility for it, plus there is this whole superior-inferior-class element to Thomas that seems incredibly dated to me.

* the TV as down-time and relaxing for kids. DD definitely falls into this category since starting kindergarten and it saddens me. She's five: why can't she find another way to veg out after coming home from school? Why does she need to veg out at all? I concede that adults often want/need to, but does that mean kids need/want to too? After all, there are many things adults need that kids don't and vice versa. Are my children imitiating DH and I? I don't feel like we veg out with TV or computer immediately upon coming home, although we certainly do once they've gone to bed.

* balancing TV watching with multiple children. If each can watch an hour of TV, then does the time they spend watching their sibling's show count? From the perspective of exposure to TV, yes, it should, but from a fairness perspective, it shouldn't. If an older child can watch something that is inappropriate for younger child, how do you deal with it? This is even an issue with a pre-verbal toddler, who isn't even aware of the TV much less asking for it, yet pays attention to it when the older child is watching it.

* the inappropriateness of benign adult tv for children. For instance, the first time I realized DD was noticing football, I thought how horrible it must look to her, how bizarre. Grown-ups hitting each other with nary a negative word said when she, a child, is taught to not do that. TV news with video footage of wars, bombs, explosions, extreme weather. Some of the things scare my kids, other things I just wish I didn't have to explain to them, at least not now, maybe ever. From a brain development point of view, areyou doing your nursing infant (one old enough to react to a TV's flashing images) a disservice by nursing him or her while you watch, say, an action movie?

* TV making its way into waiting rooms, public spaces, etc. For instnace, at a MOMS Club meeting, if the babysitter that month brings in a video, my kids will forego toys or playing with other children in favor of watching the video. Same thing at a McDonald's playland with some built-in video games, and the kid waiting room at the pediatric dentist with toys and videos. I wish TV didn't permeate so many other parts of life, especially areas that I think could easily rely on old-fashioned play to fulfill their purpose.

* computers in the kid section of the library. I think computers belong in libraries in this day and age, but it saddens me that my kids think libraries are pretty much all about computer games and checking out videos. My girls like to read, but they don't think of the library as being about books.

Anyway, I think when TV is quality entertainment, for children or adults, it's good and fulfills its best purpose. When kid TV is trying to be educational, I think it's generally ok, maybe beneficial, maybe not. The problem I have is with the quantity of TV watched by my kids and others, and I think that quantity un-does most of the positive or neutral effect.

[Fairy]

American_Mama, that was an excellent, excellent post. Thank you so much.