Hormone testing? (a little TMI)

[LarsMal]

I guess this is a little spin-off of the thread on being sexually satisfied. Here's my TMI moment: I have absolutely NO interest in any sort of intimacy right now (or for the past several months for that matter). I don't know what it is. I feel horrible b/c I do love my husband, I just don't have any desire to express it! We get along great and we have a stable marriage/friendship. I just really don't have any sexual desire. Not just the, "I'm tired after dealing with two little ones" excuse. If I found out tomorrow I never had to have sex again I'd probably jump up and down. That is NOT normal!!! Luckily he is pretty lazy about it, too, (either that or he's just given up trying) so he seems to be fine with the limited amount of "action" he's been getting lately.

I really think something is wrong with me. Are there tests that can be done to check certain hormone levels to see if something is wrong? I am going to see my GYN in a few weeks to talk to her about it. I just want to go in with some knowledge so I can ask her for certain blood tests, etc.

TIA!!

[gatorruth]

I had to check the sig on your post to see if I had written it-- but, no, alas, there is someone else out there like me! DH and I have been to a sex therapist, and I"ve gotten my bloodwork done, but neither have helped. My hormones were in the normal range (particularly testosterone). And also, I wasn't keen on possibly taking testosterone-- I don't need any more hair!!

I've read books, etc...

There is one thing that has helped recently... and yes, this is TMI... so don't read if you don't want to....










I got a Hitachi Magic Wand! (google it and read the reviews- I got mine from drugstore.com) I LOVE that thing.... before, sex was work and not 'fun' becuase I was working so hard to have an orgasm. Not any more... sex is now easy and I like it... actually, I had my first quickie orgasm ever a few days ago--- the kids were awake and were watching TV--- dh and I went upstairs and in 4 minutes, I was happy as a lark!!! First time ever I could 'enjoy' a quickie--- then that made dh happy, too!!

You're not alone...

good luck!

[o_mom]

I would definately ask for a full thyroid panel (not just TSH as that won't catch early stages). Not sure what else.

[gatorsmom]

I got a Hitachi Magic Wand! (google it and read the reviews- I got mine from drugstore.com) I LOVE that thing.... before, sex was work and not 'fun' becuase I was working so hard to have an orgasm. Not any more... sex is now easy and I like it... actually, I had my first quickie orgasm ever a few days ago--- the kids were awake and were watching TV--- dh and I went upstairs and in 4 minutes, I was happy as a lark!!! First time ever I could 'enjoy' a quickie--- then that made dh happy, too!!

You're not alone...

good luck!

You probably have no idea how many people this has helped! LOL I think this sounds interesting (always looking for ways to change things up a bit). I will have to check this out....thx!

[almostsane]

I was in exact same boat pre-pregnancy. I talked to OB, family physician, had tests run, everything came back normal. OB and Dr. seemed to think it was just work and having a 2 yr old, but I felt horrible about it. I love DH and find him very attractive, but could have gone the rest of my life with no sex. I finally started taking a very low dose of Well-Butrin. I have read varying reports on how it can/will affect you sexually, but it worked wonders for me. Of course, I stopped them before we started TTC, but I am not against taking them again if needed. By the way, are you on birth control pills? That was the first thing that I quit taking just for this reason. It did help some. I have vowed I will never go on those things again.

[niccig]

I got a Hitachi Magic Wand! (google it and read the reviews- I got mine from drugstore.com) I LOVE that thing.... before, sex was work and not 'fun' becuase I was working so hard to have an orgasm. Not any more... sex is now easy and I like it... actually, I had my first quickie orgasm ever a few days ago--- the kids were awake and were watching TV--- dh and I went upstairs and in 4 minutes, I was happy as a lark!!! First time ever I could 'enjoy' a quickie--- then that made dh happy, too!!

You're not alone...

good luck!

Mmm. to carry on the TMI - how do you mention to your DH or SO that you would like to bring this into the bedroom. Male ego and all that.

[BabyMine]

I have/had the same problem. I did every test possible but found out it was more me that anything. It is so hard to come off of mommy mode to sexual being. You sometimes forget what it is like to just relax and enjoy. I still go through months(esp being 4.5 months pregnant) that I just don't feel it. I hope you find out the answers you are looking for.Just know that you are definately not alone.

[gatorruth]

Mmm. to carry on the TMI - how do you mention to your DH or SO that you would like to bring this into the bedroom. Male ego and all that.

He has always encouraged changing things up in the bedroom... As he says, he'd rather go to disney world than the county fair. (He thinks (correctly) that I am satisfied with just the same old, same old in bed. He'd rather have fishnets, lingeree, and whipped cream, if it was up to him!!) I am just doing my part to get us to disney world on occassion!!

[LarsMal]

I was in exact same boat pre-pregnancy. I talked to OB, family physician, had tests run, everything came back normal. OB and Dr. seemed to think it was just work and having a 2 yr old, but I felt horrible about it. I love DH and find him very attractive, but could have gone the rest of my life with no sex. I finally started taking a very low dose of Well-Butrin. I have read varying reports on how it can/will affect you sexually, but it worked wonders for me. Of course, I stopped them before we started TTC, but I am not against taking them again if needed. By the way, are you on birth control pills? That was the first thing that I quit taking just for this reason. It did help some. I have vowed I will never go on those things again.

I am not on the pill. I was going to go back on when I stopped BF, but decided it wasn't worth the money! As DH puts it, "If you're spending $30 a month on it, then I want my $30 worth of sex!" So I stopped! haha! I'm so horrible!

[LarsMal]

I would definately ask for a full thyroid panel (not just TSH as that won't catch early stages). Not sure what else.

Thanks! I had a TSH done back in Oct and everything was normal. I recently had a antithyroid globulin test come back slightly elevated. It was 44 on a scale of 0-40 for normal. I wanted the doctor to do more testing, but she said it wasn't necessary. That was my allergist, though, so maybe my OB will be more understanding, or send me to a endo who can really do a thorough workup.

[LarsMal]

He has always encouraged changing things up in the bedroom... As he says, he'd rather go to disney world than the county fair. (He thinks (correctly) that I am satisfied with just the same old, same old in bed. He'd rather have fishnets, lingeree, and whipped cream, if it was up to him!!) I am just doing my part to get us to disney world on occassion!!

Too funny! I think DH would be happy with the County Fair right now. Maybe Bush Gardens would be a step up. Disney World- now that would really throw him for a loop!

[lablover]

Thanks! I had a TSH done back in Oct and everything was normal. I recently had a antithyroid globulin test come back slightly elevated. It was 44 on a scale of 0-40 for normal. I wanted the doctor to do more testing, but she said it wasn't necessary. That was my allergist, though, so maybe my OB will be more understanding, or send me to a endo who can really do a thorough workup.

Do you know what your TSH was? If it was 3 or above then you probably have a thyroid problem. This is one test where the lab normal range (0.35 - 5.0 usually) isn't corrrect. My optimal TSH is around 1.5. If it starts creeping over 2 then I know I'm going to start feeling symptoms and will be headed for a med adjustment. Although I am lucky to have doctors who know this, there are a lot of doctors that just look at the lab range and declare it normal. Also, if you had your T4 done, it should be in the upper part of the normal range.

[StantonHyde]

One of the keys here is that you do not have to be "in the mood" to enjoy sex. Somebody did a great essay/paper on how if you just get started you can get going fairly quickly. So that became my rule and I find that it works. I shoot for once a week and it keeps DH happy and I have a great time. BUT if you asked me if I was in the mood--I would say it is number 13 on the list and once I get done cleaning out my closet, doing laundry, etc etc then I would be in the mood. This from a woman who could NOT do without lots of sex pre DC. So that is what I can recommend--I think it is mostly in our heads.

[shilo]

ok, if someone is going to be brave enough to post about their hitachi, i'll share too. have you ever tried reading women's romance, or even some erotica? i find that some time spent reading is a) just relaxing, b) lets you think about a fantasy life and get your mind off the grind, c) well, frankly, can help with the 'in the mood' issue. the basic romance stuff is easy to find at any grocery, drug or book store, but can be a little, well, vanilla. the erotica is definitely more graphic, but women's erotica is almost exclusively written in ways that are respectful to the woman and often have a HEA (happily ever after type ending), as opposed to erotica in general - you get the picture. too embarrassed to go into a book store and buy it? try www.ellorascave.com. you can download in pdf form and read it on your computer.


Mmm. to carry on the TMI - how do you mention to your DH or SO that you would like to bring this into the bedroom. Male ego and all that.

as to how to convince DH - don't know if it will work for you, but mine has always been open to anything that, err trying to be politically correct here, satisfies me b/c that usually means he is satisfied more often in return. maybe give that logic a try with your DH? that, and, we are very honest with e/o in general, so a) he knows i'm not always in the mood for/have time for 'gourmet' intimacy and b) his version can and still does rock my world - while the electric version quickie is nice and fun, but usually not world rocking. so it's easy for him to accept a (err, trying here again, honest) toy b/c he knows how i feel about it vs. him. sorry if TMI. mods feel free to edit as needed. just trying to give an honest, but still rated PG answer.

hth, lori

[niccig]

Do you know what your TSH was? If it was 3 or above then you probably have a thyroid problem. This is one test where the lab normal range (0.35 - 5.0 usually) isn't corrrect. My optimal TSH is around 1.5. If it starts creeping over 2 then I know I'm going to start feeling symptoms and will be headed for a med adjustment. Although I am lucky to have doctors who know this, there are a lot of doctors that just look at the lab range and declare it normal. Also, if you had your T4 done, it should be in the upper part of the normal range.

This happened to me. I had a thyroid nodule with normal TSH results for 3 years, but then I was feeling crazy, I had my levels checked and was told by the endocrinologist that it was normal. I had to have the nodule removed and as I was consulting surgeons, one surgeon looked at my medical records and told me I was hypothyroid as my TSH was 3.6. The thyroid pills have made a world of difference, and my new endocrinologist wants my levels between 1 and 2.

[amandabea]

I am just doing my part to get us to disney world on occassion!!

OK, totally unrelated and OT, but this comment has made me rethink the "places to go: Disney Only" and "places to go: Everything BUT Disney" forums.

[ShanaMama]

Trying to follow the two different discussions here! To the OP- I've been lurking on a sexual health message board that may be able to help you. It's a very TMI oriented board but the regular posters are very knowledgable about all different hormone testing and anything that may contribute to your low sex drive. Not sure if it's ok to link to other boards on here, but it didn't come up when I googled it so here's the link. http://www.hisandherhealth.com/cgi-bin/ubb_newshe/ultimatebb.cgi
Mods, my apologies in advance if this needs to be deleted.

[niccig]

Shanamama, thanks for posting the link to that message board. Out of curiosity I read a few posts and I came across one that describes my situation to a T. After reading the responses and suggestions, I had a light bulb moment about my situation. I still have to work on things, but I understand what's happening, and that's a big step.

I also wanted to thank the OP for starting this thread and everyone who replied giving advice and suggestions. It's really helped me, and I think DH will agree too.

[kellij]

Just want to thank everyone for their posts. Within minutes of reading this, I am now a soon to be owner of a Hitachi wand (how can you resist after that endorsement?!) and an erotic e-book (didn't know they existed before). AND in order to get my extra 10 off at drugstore.com, I'm also expecting a book that has the words "tickle" and "pickle" in the title. I'll let you figure that one out. :)

My very happy husband said to me, "what kind of boards are you looking at!!?"

[Wife_and_mommy]

Mmm. to carry on the TMI - how do you mention to your DH or SO that you would like to bring this into the bedroom. Male ego and all that.

Male ego? :ROTFLMAO: He's so going to be so excited *you* brought it up he won't be thinking about his ego. He'll be doing this: :bowdown: :cheerleader1: :bighand: :yay:

LOL

A simple: "I have a surprise for you, honey" should do. Hth. ;)

[niccig]

I did it. I bought a few things from drugstore.com and then some women's erotica at Amazon.com I talked with DH, and he was surprised and happy that I want to change things. He also asked what boards I've been visiting!

To the OP: sorry for hijacking this thread.
I don't know anything about hormone tests, but can you talk to your OB/GYN or to your regular doctor. You may have to push them to look into it. My GYN always asks about sex life, so that might be a good place to start. From previous posts, I know you've gone through a number of medical issues. Is it at all possible that once things get more settled, your'll be back to your normal self? I know I'm feeling much better now that my thyroid issues seem to be resolved, but for the last 6 months I was not interested at all and I don't think it was all hormonal - I had extra stress of doctor's appointments, procedures, surgeries and just trying to work out what was wrong, on top of daily life stress. I would look into things with your doctor, but also give yourself permission to not be interested and not feel guility. Your DH sounds like he would understand that there's been a lot going on.