Thanks for your 'advice'

[almostsane]

Dear MIL, SIL, Wal-Mart Employee, Co-Worker, random stranger, etc.,
I truly do appreciate all of the concern you have shown my DS over the past 3 years. I probably could not have raised him, thus far, without all of your 'helpful advice'. Yes, I realize that he is a big-boy now and needs to get rid of his paci, but you don't put him to bed at night, so you have no idea what it is like trying to take it away from him. No, he shouldn't be pooping in his pants, but I am not going to spank/punish him for it, it only happens occasionally. I do realize that sugar and sweets are not that good for children, but if I want to let him have a cupcake, I will.

I realize that sodium will make my legs/feet swell more while I am pregnant, but I am the one that has to deal with that. I also know that caffeine is not really good for the baby, but once again, I will deal with that. I AM 32, with an engineering degree, I can read and I do hear what my doctor advises. Sometimes, I just choose to go ahead and have that coke. But, once again, thanks for all of the unwarranted advice.:32: :32:



So, I guess if you made it this far, you realize I am sick of everyone offering their advice. If I ask for it, that is one thing, but when people just offer it, I want to say, "Who asked you?" What is up with complete strangers wanting to tell me how to raise/discipline my child? Most of the time I just smile and say thank you or I know, but I think I am going to start saying, "And you got a child raising degree from where?" BTW, my mom is really just as bad. She tells me and DS all of the time that he needs to give his paci up. I finally told her the other day that I was not taking it away from him right now and that he was just fine.

[egfmba]

Hugs. So sorry you're having to deal with the unwanted advice. You can say something like, "Yeah. Okay." And then move on with the conversation as though there was no interruption. Or, you might try, "Thanks for that advice." And then move on. Or maybe, "Really?" And then move on. Don't give them a chance to keep harping on it. Just move on as though they haven't said anything.

I wish you luck!

eva

[bluestarfish18]

Well said!! I'm just starting on the crazy journey of parenthood, with baby #1 due any day now. I'm beyond sick of advice and "tips" on how I can be a "better" parent. The worst are my in-laws. Yes I understand you were once parents too, but that was centuries ago. And yes, things HAVE changed since then, so stop thinking my child will never cry at your house because you know "how to handle a child better than I."

I'm tempted to slap a sticker on my forehead and DS' that says: "I have SARS and very contageous irritatbility, so stay at least 30 feet away.":bighand:

[ellies mom]

Well said!! I'm just starting on the crazy journey of parenthood, with baby #1 due any day now. I'm beyond sick of advice and "tips" on how I can be a "better" parent. The worst are my in-laws. Yes I understand you were once parents too, but that was centuries ago. And yes, things HAVE changed since then, so stop thinking my child will never cry at your house because you know "how to handle a child better than I."

I'm tempted to slap a sticker on my forehead and DS' that says: "I have SARS and very contageous irritatbility, so stay at least 30 feet away.":bighand:

Fortunately, I have this aura that just says "don't bother" because I never get any of that. Which is really nice.

I did want to comment on the whole in-law thing. When I'm pregnant and about ready to kill my husband, the last thing I'd want to hear is parenting advice from his mom. I mean really, why would her advice be top on the list of advice to follow?

[StantonHyde]

I have never seen a kid "graduate" from kindergarten with a pacifier. I am pretty sure he will not be playing first grade baseball with one.

According to MIL, DH is/was Christ incarnate and this, of course, is due to her parenting. Talk about selective memory!!!!

I just IGNORE people. I guess I must have some look that says Do NOt Mess with ME because I generally do not get parenting advice from strangers. Maybe they figure I am a lost cause as my children run up and down the grocery store aisle wearing the princess and astronaut costumes :)

And my fav pg comeback has always been "Well, I figured once I gave up the crack cocaine a Diet Coke would be ok". Shuts em up EVERY time.

[billysmommy]

We got those same comments ~ it was awful!!!!!

Billy had just turned 3 when Benjamin was born and still had his pacifier (he called it a sucker) and was in diapers. He may have been ready then to potty learn but I/DH were not. There was no way I was going to deal with potty learning and a newborn and there was no way I was going to take away his pacifier when I was bringing a brand new baby to change his world.

Benj was born in May and in July we gave up the pacifier (it actually ended up being pretty easy ~ thanks to the help of the "sucker fairy") and lots of CARS matchbox cars. Then in August we started potty learning. We started on a Thursday and by Sunday, he was totally out of diapers and dry.
It was so worth it for us to wait until we had passed some of the adjustment period of Benjamin joining our family.

[niccig]

We've been pretty lucky except for my mum. Next time, I think I'm just going to ask her if she pushed DS out of her vagina. If yes, then she can parent, if no then be quiet and let me parent MY son MY way.

The next visit is in April, I'll let you know how it went over!

[lizajane]

dylan is 3 and has a "binky." i just can't care!!!!!!!!! his brother sucks his thumb and i CAN'T take that away. so i can't figure out how to tell little brother that he can't have what big brother can. and yes, we have tried all the tricks- give binky to your baby cousin, trade it for a big boy toy, leave it for santa... NOT INTERESTED. he just says, NO, he would rather just keep his binky, thank you very much. and he is smart and knows that if it "disappeared" he could 1) suggest we go buy more 2) borrow one from baby davis (my godson) or 3) look in the car. and do i REALLY want to listen to those suggestions all night??

i just SO hear ya, sister!

[squimp]

Fortunately, I have this aura that just says "don't bother" because I never get any of that. Which is really nice.


Veronica, I must have that same aura. Either that, or people are thinking I'm her grandma, and they'd never give a grandma childraising advice. I'm not complaining.

[Melanie]

Perhaps you could tell them Harvard just released a study correlating IQ points to pacifier usage lengths? LOL. That will quiet them and give you a chuckle as they go around telling others.

I must also have the 'don't mess with me' vibe b/c, knock on wood, I don't get much commentary.

[dotgirl]

I'm seriously baffled by people who just .. give their opinion. I mean, I do see things that make me go "Wow. That's .. huh." But I would never say anything - I mean, I don't know the circumstances or history, so I should just keep my mouth shut - which I do. I just wish everyone else would too.

[amconwa]

I have never seen a kid "graduate" from kindergarten with a pacifier. I am pretty sure he will not be playing first grade baseball with one.

According to MIL, DH is/was Christ incarnate and this, of course, is due to her parenting. Talk about selective memory!!!!

I just IGNORE people. I guess I must have some look that says Do NOt Mess with ME because I generally do not get parenting advice from strangers. Maybe they figure I am a lost cause as my children run up and down the grocery store aisle wearing the princess and astronaut costumes :)

And my fav pg comeback has always been "Well, I figured once I gave up the crack cocaine a Diet Coke would be ok". Shuts em up EVERY time.

Christ incarnate! ((((laughing snort)))) Same here! DH fell off his pedestal when he married me. He is the loveliest man, but he does have flaws, contrary to how his mother talks about him. I suppose I will act this way about DS. :) Crack cocaine!!! hahahahaha!!!

My ILs talked so much about how big the baby was going to be and how I wasn't going to be able to give birth to it that I about came unglued. Then, it occurred to me that two of my ILs are pretty uncomfortable with their weight, and I felt like they were apologizing to me: as if they were the cause of my large baby. Women don't grow babies who can't come out of them naturally. Argh!

First day back at work, within minutes of arriving, I get asked how the baby was, explained he got a shot that day, and was immediately barraged by advice to rub the shot in or something (he was totally fine). My head was spinning from just being there again. I was, like, let me sit down first! :)

To the OP, I have a song for you: I'm Alright (Theme from Caddyshack) by Kenny Loggins. I find it upbeat and cheeky. "I'm alright....don't nobody worry 'bout me. Why you gotta give me advice? Why don'tcha just let me be?" Just like another poster illuminated with her example, circumstances and families are different. MYOB. Of course, there are times not to, but they are rare.

[ha98ed14]

Next time, I think I'm just going to ask her if she pushed DS out of her vagina.

ROTFLMAO! You have my admiration (worship!) if you can actually say this to your mom's face!

[niccig]

ROTFLMAO! You have my admiration (worship!) if you can actually say this to your mom's face!

Let me miss 2 or 3 days of thyroid pills. I'm Jekyll and Hyde if a miss a few days. She was here at Christmas when my thyroid was at his worst, and I said a lot of things I normally wouldn't have had the courage to say - including names of local hotels as she bitched about being a slave to DS's routine.

[ha98ed14]

Let me miss 2 or 3 days of thyroid pills. I'm Jekyll and Hyde if a miss a few days. She was here at Christmas when my thyroid was at his worst, and I said a lot of things I normally wouldn't have had the courage to say - including names of local hotels as she bitched about being a slave to DS's routine.

Oh God! I remember- You're the Aussie and they were here for 5 weeks or something, right? Ugh! MIL only lives in Ventura and there are days that is not far enough away from me!

[niccig]

This trip is shorter 2.5 weeks. DH wanted longer as it costs so much to get there, I said no. Instead he's taking a few days off when we get back, so we can rest and relax. My family's idea of a vacation is no-stop activity, DH's is reading a book and sleeping, so he'll get to do that when we're back.