HELP!! DD won't fall asleep on her own at all!!!!!!

[HIU8]

DD will be 10 months next week. She barely naps during the day (I'm lucky to get 1.5 hours from her and that is usually in her carseat). She will not nap in her crib at all. Sometimes I can get a 20-40 minute nap in the PNP. Also, she will not fall asleep in her crib at night. We have tried putting her in drowsy but awake and let her cry it out. The crying lasts upwards of 4 hours and this went on for weeks on end. We have been letting her eat and fall asleep on our lap while one of us puts DS to bed. Then we take her upstairs and she stays asleep in her crib all night long (until 6 or 7 am). I would like to try to get her to go to sleep in her crib instead of on me every night. Anyone BTDT? We are willing to try cry it out again, but DS cannot fall asleep until she stops,which means he loses 3ish hours of sleep a night. I want my evenings with DH back. We didn't have this same issue with DS. He was sleep trained at 11 months (would have been sooner but he had severe reflux and we had to keep him fairly upright for 30 minutes after each feeding).
:help:

[ummzayaan]

My son won't fall asleep on his own either... he used to! We trained him at 8 months... and then due to schedule problems and traveling, we lost it. Trained again. Lost it. Trained again... and so on and so forth. Now the crying is unbearable (he's 13 months old) and he actually stands in his crib and soils his pants out of stress and fear... so I just can't do it anymore.

One thing that worked for me for a while (not working anymore) was to stand there while he was in the crib and everytime he tried to get up, just gently push him back down. Eventually he would get tired, get the message, and stare off into space until he fell asleep.

A friend of mine had good success with the Baby Whisperer technique - she would put her son in the crib and as soon as he started crying, she'd pick him up, comfort him (but no rocking) and then put him back down as SOON as he was comforted. Then again once he started crying she'd pick him back up. Eventually he fell asleep on his own. She said the first couple of nights you have to repeat this 40+ times but if you're patient, by the third night or so, the baby will get the message and just go to sleep.

Also it helped my son to be on a to-the-T schedule...

Finally, try getting the No Cry Sleep Solution book... that's my next step, I think. I've heard good things about it.

[ritacheetah]

I don't know if you've tried this when crying it out but maybe you can try sitting in the room with her until she falls asleep. No eye contact, speaking or stimulation of any kind? If that works, after a few days you can move farther away from the crib, then to the door, etc. That didn't work for me but I think it has worked for some people.

Good luck!!!